S
Some Moron
Guest
This account.
Ta dah!
Ta dah!
Tell a bad joke
- Thread starter Magnavox
- Start date
I
Infrarednexus
Guest
My hopes and dreams
S
Some Moron
Guest
My [Insert noun / concept here].
Asassinator
My Final Form... Which Was My First Form :P
Xavier Fox
Active Member
You can't run through a camp site.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch.
The bartender asks, "Why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"
"Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
The bartender asks, "Why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"
"Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
Xavier Fox
Active Member
Did you know that the first French fries were not actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
They were cooked in Greece.
Pawpad
Delightfully Improbable.
A guy has a pet parrot that seems sad so he goes to the store and picks out a lady parrot for him to be friends with.
They get home and all looks good, they're getting along great, as the night sets in the guy puts a blanket over their cage and goes to sleep.
About a half hour later he awakens to the most god awful squawking he's ever heard so he runs downstairs and sees the cage shaking under the blanket.
He pulls the blanket back to see his parrot have the new girl parrot pinned to the bottom of the cage, just ripping her feathers out.
After a moment he yells to his parrot "What are you doing!?"
In reply the parrot looks up and says "RAWK, we paid for the !$#&! she's gonna get naked."
They get home and all looks good, they're getting along great, as the night sets in the guy puts a blanket over their cage and goes to sleep.
About a half hour later he awakens to the most god awful squawking he's ever heard so he runs downstairs and sees the cage shaking under the blanket.
He pulls the blanket back to see his parrot have the new girl parrot pinned to the bottom of the cage, just ripping her feathers out.
After a moment he yells to his parrot "What are you doing!?"
In reply the parrot looks up and says "RAWK, we paid for the !$#&! she's gonna get naked."
Lunaris
The Cookie Connoisseur
How do you put a giraffe in the freezer?
How do you put an elephant in the freezer?
The animal kingdom called a meeting, which animals didn't turn up?
How do you cross a crocodile infested river?
Open the door and put it in and shut the door
How do you put an elephant in the freezer?
Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and shut the door
The animal kingdom called a meeting, which animals didn't turn up?
The elephant and the giraffe because they were getting in and out of a freezer
How do you cross a crocodile infested river?
Just swim across because they are all at the meeting
HistoricalyIncorrect
Well-Known Member
Have you ever seen elephant in a bushes?
You see how well he hid?
You see how well he hid?
Why was Soviet command so incompetent during the early years of WWII?
Because they were stallin'
/pol/'s almost annual attempt to divide LGBT people, and convince the general public that LGBT people are a bunch of pedophiles.
HopeTLioness
Rawr, rawr, grrr!
HistoricalyIncorrect
Well-Known Member
Dark humor is like a food, not everybody gets it
N
Nakita
Guest
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
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Night.Claw
Well-Known Member
@Some Moron 
(no offense bro)
(no offense bro)HistoricalyIncorrect
Well-Known Member
At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
Tattorack
Explorer
A tourist went on holiday somewhere in the middle of the desert. He did all the basic shit: camel rides, Dakkar tours, eating lots of local food to feel culturally immersed, the works. But one day when he was visiting one of the many berber desert markets on his tour he did something that offended the berbers really badly. The tourist didn't know what he did wrong, but he understood that his captors were considering executing him. The berbers finally came to a decision and the one amongst them that could speak english went to explain the situation to the tourist. The only thing the tourist could see were the hard chiseled blue eyes through the berber's face scarf. "What you have done... is the worst possible insult to my people! Only execution can set this wrong right!" He said in a very thick accent. The tourist fell to his knees and started to plead, "Please please please, what have I done wrong? I have money! Anything but ex-..." "SILENCE! WAGHNAHIB HADRIM!!" the berber cut him off, "We understand you are ignorant of our culture, but we can't let you go without punishment! So we've devised an impossible task! Come!"
The berber led the tourist outside and presented him with three tents, and started to explain: "In the first tent are three barrels of the desert's strongest date wine! You will drink all of it!
In the second tent is a wild and rabbid bear from the Atlas mountains. You will wrestle and defeat the beast!
In the third tent lies the hardest women to please in all of the desert. You will satisfy her!
If you are successful in all of these tasks, then and ONLY then will you be free!" The tourist didn't like his odds. He didn't like it at all, but what choice did he have? So he mustered up his courage and entered the first tent. He spent a full 4 hours on nothing but drinking the finest and the desert's strongest date wine. When he finally came out he could barely stand or even talk, but much to the surprise of his captors he was still alive. Then he entered the second tent. A massive loud roaring could be heard emanating from the tent. The whole tent shook and trembled as great noises of thrashing and crashing was heard. After more than an hour the bear suddenly whimpered silently and was quiet. twenty minutes later the tourist stumbled out, covered in scratched, his clothes in shreds and still drunk, but yet still alive. "Sho...*hips*" he said with his finger pointing, "Dats dat done.... now where de fuck is that bear?"
The berber led the tourist outside and presented him with three tents, and started to explain: "In the first tent are three barrels of the desert's strongest date wine! You will drink all of it!
In the second tent is a wild and rabbid bear from the Atlas mountains. You will wrestle and defeat the beast!
In the third tent lies the hardest women to please in all of the desert. You will satisfy her!
If you are successful in all of these tasks, then and ONLY then will you be free!" The tourist didn't like his odds. He didn't like it at all, but what choice did he have? So he mustered up his courage and entered the first tent. He spent a full 4 hours on nothing but drinking the finest and the desert's strongest date wine. When he finally came out he could barely stand or even talk, but much to the surprise of his captors he was still alive. Then he entered the second tent. A massive loud roaring could be heard emanating from the tent. The whole tent shook and trembled as great noises of thrashing and crashing was heard. After more than an hour the bear suddenly whimpered silently and was quiet. twenty minutes later the tourist stumbled out, covered in scratched, his clothes in shreds and still drunk, but yet still alive. "Sho...*hips*" he said with his finger pointing, "Dats dat done.... now where de fuck is that bear?"
HistoricalyIncorrect
Well-Known Member
hehe you will like this one!
Why did Katie fell off the swing?
Because she had no arms!
Knock knock!
-Who's there?
Deffinitely not Katie
Why did Katie fell off the swing?
Because she had no arms!
Knock knock!
-Who's there?
Deffinitely not Katie
Shadowhawkart
Rawr I guess?
A sheep, a bass drum and a snake fall off a cliff
ba-dum-tssssssss
ba-dum-tssssssss
