Tell a bad joke

[Keefur]

Q: How is a fox like a bowling ball?
A: They are best used when all their holes are filled.


Q: How are foxes different than a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

 

[Juju-z]

"You're fired" I told the man, he'd been asking for it all week, clowning around and showing off that giant grin. He flew 30 feet.

 

[The Matte-Black Cat]

A lady was driving, on her way to Disney World.

She came across a sign that said "Disney LEFT"

So she went home.

 

[Kit H. Ruppell]

What do you call a painful skin outbreak on the buttocks?

Sorey-Assis

 

[Juju-z]

p1: Hey, hehehe, Why do horned owls always look so angry?
p2: Ugh, I don't know?
p1: Hehe, well you see, the human mind is designed to see human faces, and simplify actions to human ideals, this is done to both speed up recognition skills of other human faces, and make the process of developing a base understanding other humans faster. As we are a social ani
mal

 

[Keefur]

A Furry got a new job. It was his eighth job this year. He was driving a forklift and hit a rack and caused several thousand dollars of damage. The boss looked at the huge mess and told the Furry that he would have to work it off and that he would be taking $100 out of his paycheck every week until it was paid off. The Furry asked, "How long will it take to pay it off?" The boss replied, "About two years at least." The Furry jumped up and down with joy. The boss asked him why he was so happy. The Furry replied, "I finally have job security!"

 

[Thehoneybutter]

I had a whole heep of jokes about unemployed people,
sadly I can't tell you them
Cause they never work...

 

[Misha Bordiga Zahradník]

The Soviets claimed they would transition to a truly socialist state, but really, they were just Stalin.

 

[Thehoneybutter]

I went into a bar and ordered a grasshopper cocktail
The next day i was walking to the same bar and saw an actual grasshopper
I told the grasshopper that there was a drink named after it
to witch the grasshopper replied
"There's a drink named Fredrick?"

 

[TR273]

Two guys are at a football match and the crowd are getting rough, shouting and throwing bottles at the pitch. One of the men is crouching low in his seat, the other looks at him and says:
“Don’t worry It’s only the bottle with your name on you need to worry about.”
The first man crouches lower:
“That’s what I’m worried about, my name is Jake Daniels.”

 

[SlimeTV]

A mountaineer who just returned from scaling Mount Kilamanjaro walks into a bar and asks for a free drink. The bartender, sensing an ominous chill in the air says, "well sir, I can't give you a free drink, but I can give you five jokes in five seconds."
"Shoot" replied the crest fallen mountain man. It was at this time in the joke that the admittedly jumpy barkeep pulled out his pistol and beat the mountaineer to death in five easy blows.

 

[Keefur]

Sea otters don't talk much. They just prefer to wave.

 

[Kit H. Ruppell]

The Weaponized Joke


My dog has no nose.
"How does he smell?"
Terrible!

 

[Keefur]

A lion went to the dentist because he had a bad tooth. The dentist examined the feline's teeth and said, "It looks like you need a crown."

"FINALLY!!!", exclaimed the lion, "Someone who understands me."

 

[SlimeTV]

Q: What do you call a leopard named Billy who just fell down a 600 foot ravine into a squirming pit of dead ducks covered in leprosy once owned by a Pizzeria?

A: In this case--you would refer to the unfortunate soul as "Bad Luck Billy"!!!

 

[Juju-z]

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.

 

[Kit H. Ruppell]

A mother and father take their young daughter to the zoo. They see the lions, the monkeys, the bears, the birds, to the daughter's delight. Eventually, they come to the elephant cage. The daughter has never seen such a beast before, and has some questions.
"Mom, what's that long thing hanging down?"
"That's the elephant's trunk, honey", explains the mother.
"No, further back"
"That's the elephant's tail, sweetie"
"No! In the middle!"
The mother hesitates. "Oh that? That's...nothing"
The daughter isn't satisfied, so she asks the father.
"Dad, what's that long thing hanging down?"
The father replies "That's the elephant's trunk, honey"
"No, Dad. Further back."
"That's the elephant's tail, sweetie"
"No! That long thing hanging down in the middle! Mom says it's nothing."
"That's because I spoiled her."

 

[Keefur]

Q: What is the worst thing about stopping a fox from having sex?




A: You have to bury the body.

 

[Chaosmasterdelta]

Who is Christmas and why does everyone want me to marry them?

 

[Rystren]

A bar was closed for selling alcohol to minors.
Morale at the mines took a huge dip.

 

[Cannabiskitty]

Last night I was laying in my bed stargazing and wondering... where the hell is my roof?

 

[Deleted member 82554]

What if you are the joke?

 

[Alondight]

What did the mountain climber call his son?

Cliff.

 

[Rystren]

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini.
The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

 

[Keefur]

Did you hear about the fursuiter at Anthrocon that had condoms stuck all over his fursuit? When I asked him what that was for, he replied, "Fox repellant."