Tell a bad joke

[Rystren]

A man wakes up in a hospital after a serious car accident he yells out "Doctor Doctor I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies " I know I amputated your arms "

 

[Keefur]

Q: What's the difference between a mailbox and a Sabertooth Cat?

A: If you still have your arm after you put the mail in, it was a mail box.

 

[CrystalCaracal]

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

 

[Foxy Emy]

An infinate number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one says "I'll have a beer."

The second one says "I'll have 1/2 a beer."

The third one says "I'll have 1/4th a beer."

The fourth one says "I'll have 1/8th a beer."

The bartender stops the 5th one and pours two beers. "You fellas really ought to know your limits."

 

[Turisgu]

İf Aristophanes is Father of comedy then who is Mother of comedy?
(if you read this joke you probably get cancer and there is no cure for cancer so enjoy your life's last seconds with something you like)

 

[ShamanSquirrel]

What does King Kong do when you tell him to take a shower? He shakes a tower.

 

[Nihles]

How many metalheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they embrace the darkness.

 

[Simo]

A guy brings a fox home, tells his wife it's a pet.
She asks , "Where are you going to keep him?"
He replies , "In the bedroom."
"But what about that horrible nasty smell?' , she asks.
"I got used to you , I'm sure he will too!"

 

[Nihles]

I kept trying to give my friend a Pixar movie, but he wouldn’t take it.

So I gave up.

Rick Astley will lend you almost any movie in his Pixar collection, but he's never gonna give you Up.

 

[Gushousekai195]

Jenova from Final Fantasy VII has no head on her body....

That’s because she lost her wits.

 

[ShamanSquirrel]

Why couldn't the squirrel stand up?

He buried the wrong nuts.

 

[Nihles]

I'm gonna go stand around outside, so if anyone asks

I'll be outstanding.

 

[Infrarednexus]

I ate a clock
It was very time consuming
Especially when I went back for seconds

 

[Koriekraiz13]

A blind man walks in to a bar, and a table and a chair.

 

[Koriekraiz13]

Spoiler: Punchline

Hebrew it

How does Moses make his tea?

 

[Koriekraiz13]

Whats red and bad for you teeth,

A brick

 

[Koriekraiz13]

What do you call a dictionary on weed



High definition

 

[Koriekraiz13]

A Buddha walks up to a hotdog stand and says "make me one with everything"

 

[Koriekraiz13]

Whats black and white and red all over?



A skunk in a blender

 

[Foxy Emy]

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. Needless to say, the whole situation was tense.

 

[Guifrog]

Ribbit
*licks self*
Reggae

 

[Skittles]

What's white, flies through the jungle and hurts when it hits you in the head.


A fridge. (This was a real joke in a book from my childhood..)

 

[Marius Merganser]

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

[Foxy Emy]

Spoiler: What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

 

[Xitheon]

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

(Or an orange parrot.)