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Telling my parents

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
Yes, I know there's a sticky about this topic. Yes, I read it. Yes, I did leave a comment on that thread. But I feel as though I must restate this topic with more details.

See, a while back, my parents caught me looking at mild furry porn. As a result, I stayed away from the fandom until my best friend (who is also a furry) piqued my interest in it again. However, it was only until a few months ago that I actually decided I was a furry, having learned enough to know that this whole thing is a rather cool fandom. While I was fine with keeping it a secret at first, I've found that it's lead to unpleasantries in my personal life, with my parents thinking I'm shying away from them due to constantly closing things related to the fandom (drawings I make, web pages talking about furries, etc. Currently, only two of my real life friends know: the one I mentioned earlier, and another that's rather neutral about it. However, I'm worried that my parents will disapprove of it due to said incident. Also I suck at trying to educate people about fandoms that are basically the toilet paper of the internet. Hell, I haven't even told my therapist about it out of fear thay they'll say that this is a problem. And keeping secrets about myself isn't my forté, and it only leads to me feeling bad about myself due to the fact that I have to keep this stuff private. I'm just honest-to-god scared right now.
 
N

nevlaar_collie

Guest
I'm in the exact same situation as you.
The "incident" planted a bad image in their heads.
 

Astus

Well Known Foxxo
Some required reading http://furscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Furscience-Furbook-First-5.pdf

It's all the statistics researchers have done on furries at cons and such


I wouldn't be afraid to tell a therapist about the furry Fandom, they're there to help you, or what have you, through any problems or such. You spending more time away from your parents not out of some dislike just shows you are able to be social and get along with other people which shows good parenting on their part. They also should know that catching you with furry porn isn't something bad, people look at porn, it's natural even something like furry porn, because well porn is porn.. they should be more concerned if you didn't go looking at porn or such after a certain age, as that can be inductive of some problems... or maybe they're just asexual
 

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
Some required reading http://furscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Furscience-Furbook-First-5.pdf

It's all the statistics researchers have done on furries at cons and such


I wouldn't be afraid to tell a therapist about the furry Fandom, they're there to help you, or what have you, through any problems or such. You spending more time away from your parents not out of some dislike just shows you are able to be social and get along with other people which shows good parenting on their part. They also should know that catching you with furry porn isn't something bad, people look at porn, it's natural even something like furry porn, because well porn is porn.. they should be more concerned if you didn't go looking at porn or such after a certain age, as that can be inductive of some problems... or maybe they're just asexual
I still dunno. My parents aren't exactly fond of homosexuals or transgenders (I, myself, am straight,), and the idea of most furries being liberal (I'd rather we all just shut the hell up about politics and find other ground where we can get along (#TeamHeavy)), coupled with the porn thing, wouldn't exactly make them happy about it. Not to mention the whole part about there being more males than females.
 
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lyar

Its not the human race, its just the human race
See, a while back, my parents caught me looking at mild furry porn. As a result, I stayed away from the fandom until my best friend (who is also a furry) piqued my interest in it again. However, it was only until a few months ago that I actually decided I was a furry, having learned enough to know that this whole thing is a rather cool fandom. While I was fine with keeping it a secret at first, I've found that it's lead to unpleasantries in my personal life, with my parents thinking I'm shying away from them due to constantly closing things related to the fandom (drawings I make, web pages talking about furries, etc. Currently, only two of my real life friends know: the one I mentioned earlier, and another that's rather neutral about it. However, I'm worried that my parents will disapprove of it due to said incident. Also I suck at trying to educate people about fandoms that are basically the toilet paper of the internet. Hell, I haven't even told my therapist about it out of fear thay they'll say that this is a problem. And keeping secrets about myself isn't my forté, and it only leads to me feeling bad about myself due to the fact that I have to keep this stuff private. I'm just honest-to-god scared right now.
Quite a predicament. However, it is a common one. Every so often someone asks for advice for telling their parents about being a furry. People don't need to know everything about you and your parents love you regardless (I assume since you care about them knowing) so who cares. No one in my nuclear family really knows my sexual or furry interests and frankly its none of their business unless I want them to know. If its bugs you that your parents don't know the furry side of you so to speak then tell them and see what happens. Maybe they'll be like "whatever you like is okay" or maybe not. Parents have a certain view and expectations for their child and sometimes I feel we should leave them with that. No need to complicate their lives with worries caused by things they don't understand.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
First, you must make sure that you're 100% dedicated to being a Furry, before telling anyone. Especially your Fam. Learn all there is to being a Furry. Like the backstory, when and why it became a thing.
If you do tell them, and they don't like it, don't argue about it. They don't have to like everything you do. You can't make them understand, if they aren't willing to understand.
Yes, porn is normal to be gandered upon, as @Astusthefox said. However, the Furry Porn are animals having sex. Even if they have human qualities, that's what most outsiders see. They see it as being into beastiality.
Do you parents even know the word 'Furry'? Mine didn't. Made it a lot easier to explain it in a way they may understand xD. They may not even link the porn you looked at as Furry Porn. Especially if you don't tell them. Though I wouldn't leave out the dark side. If you're going to tell them, might as well tell them everything.
But honestly.. I don't think they need to know :/
 

Zipline

Noodle Fish
I just remembered an old memory that I had blocked forgotten. I was looking at tame furry fetish pics in a youtube vid (fatty furs) and my mother walked in and the page froze so I could not change the page fast enough. It did not help i had my pants down. That may by why years later she always said she thought people in animal costumes were gross and all about porn. huh. I never told my folks either and now they are dead/ missing. Seems to have worked out.
 

FoxInTheCloset

The Over Caffeinated Vulpine
You are free to have a personal private life. You parents dont need to know absolutely everything about you.
 

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
You are free to have a personal private life. You parents dont need to know absolutely everything about you.
I know, but I feel like I should at least let them know a little.
 

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
Are you looking for their approval about being a furry?
I guess. I mean, they did literally create me from two microscopic cells, and I metaphorically dream of going to Anthrocon (Or any furry convention in my area, for that matter), so I feel as though it might be for teh best.
 

FoxInTheCloset

The Over Caffeinated Vulpine
I guess. I mean, they did literally create me from two microscopic cells, and I metaphorically dream of going to Anthrocon (Or any furry convention in my area, for that matter), so I feel as though it might be for teh best.
Well if that is what you think, I wish you luck, just come up with a good speech when you explain the fandom and tell them that not all furries are porn addicted degenerates :p

But don't expect approval.
 

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
Well if that is what you think, I wish you luck, just come up with a good speech when you explain the fandom and tell them that not all furries are porn addicted degenerates :p

But don't expect approval.
Nah. I don't like direct confrontation. But I'll probably leave something "accidentally" lying around.
 

FoxInTheCloset

The Over Caffeinated Vulpine
Nah. I don't like direct confrontation. But I'll probably leave something "accidentally" lying around.
Just make sure that "something" isn't a bad dragon toy. XD

(errr No idea how old you are so this might go over your head)
 

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
Just make sure that "something" isn't a bad dragon toy. XD

(errr No idea how old you are so this might go over your head)
Nah, I think I'll just go to that site and buy 'Cool Cat Saves the Kids' and show them that. Afterwords, I'll just say, "Oh, by the way. That orange abomination? It's called a furry, an' I'm one of 'em. No joke." And of course, I get a copyright strike from Daddy Dick Savage himself two days later.

Nah but really. Why do furries never do Cool Cat screenings like how other people screen The Room? And it'd just be somethin' subtle like a drawing of my fursona or that thing that guy linked up above or somethin' like that.
 

TidesofFate

Your friendly neighborhood Executioner
Seriously, you shouldn't need approval. Just be who you want to be. There's no point in "coming out". It's not like you're telling your parents you're gay or something.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
Idk... I don't think that'd be a wise way to go about it. If they just happen upon something you've written, they'll still think you were hiding it from them still and that it really is something bad. if you act too serious, they may think it is something to possibly worry about. Don't make it feel as if you're telling them you're gay xD if you give off the vibe that being a Furry is a bad thing, they will think that it is.
 

Dearg

The often grumpy but friendly fox
Try and show the positive side of the fandom as much as possible, but don't be dismissive of the...other side. Explain that the furry community are groups of people with one goal in mind, Creativity. Artist, performers, collaborators, musicians and etc.... That is what the fandom is supposed to be. That is how I explained it to my friends and family. We all have a similar interest, but we express in different ways
 

Yakamaru

Bara mig och lite bensin
Leave your parents out? Everyone has secrets. Everyone have a private life they don't want to share with anyone, or the very least, very few. Unless your parents want to actually talk about it, don't bother mentioning it.

It's called privacy for a reason. It's not something you share with others.

Like any other fandom, Furries create porn, art, music, goes to cons, create merchandise, etc.

However, like for instance with the Star Trek fandom, Furries tend to be more open and accepting of all kinds of people. Furries are a lot less judging in terms of what you are, and more of who you are. And it shows. Furries generally gives a lot less fucks than the average fandom.

TL;DR: Tell your parents it's a hobby/interest and that it have nothing to do with them. At all. Unless you start fursuiting, as that might sting their wallets a bit. :p
 

DisconnectedYT

Active Member
Only thing worse for me is that my mum saw a photo of my sona page which also has the fact im gay on it so..... i was kinda fucked XD
 

Besharia

Member
Only thing worse for me is that my mum saw a photo of my sona page which also has the fact im gay on it so..... i was kinda fucked XD

Wait, how did that happen?
 

um_pineapplez

Mage of Void, dammit.
I have a pic of disco which next to it has info about me and mum walked in while i went to the toilet and i left my lid just open and she opened it and saw it lol
I understand it's not my business, and I've decided I'll tell mum when dad's not home (he's probably less likely to accept the whole furry thing due to his political beliefs (which, like I said, I don't really give a f*** about unless it's serious)), but what exactly happened afterwards?
 
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