At first I was like "what the flying fuck?!", then I read the description and I facedesked because most of it is true.
Fuck my life.
edit// I just read Bat and Porcupine (which were my alternatives) and found out that if I take parts of all the and mesh them together it fits me perfectly. So I'm a snake with spines mixed in with my scales... and bat wings. Oh joy. Oh wonder. I'm a freak of nature.
edit2// LOL if I change the size to average I got no results. WIN.