I put the fun in dysfunctional
The perfect ice cream pops into existence in front of you.
The button will give you $50,000, but for a day it will play looped audio from banner ads in your head, all day and all night. Their shouting will haunt your dreams if you can manage to sleep. You can press the button as many days as you like should you be that desperate for money or hate yourself that much
You monsterThe button spawns a pizza box in front of you. It smells like it's a good one - nice and fresh, you can almost taste the delicious dough and cheese by the smell alone.
But then, you open the box and it's empty. There's no pizza inside.