The Vending Machine 2000

[Nemnth]

The machine makes grinding noises before you're covered in the KY jelly you put in it, it somehow showing you in it from the top of the machine. Now you're extremely slippery!

Puts a car, a clown car, into the slot

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

The machine vends a clown horn.

Inserts a 50Won coin in the slot.

 

[Nemnth]

A bunch of angry North Koreans pop out and tackle you! Roll a d20 to see if they hit you and then roll a d8 twice to see how much damage they deal!

Puts in a dead baby

 

[Julen]

You get 20 years in prison! Congrats!

Puts in a peseta

 

[Teniwolf]

The vending machine leaks out some cement which goes to your feet and then dries rendering you immovable. The machine then gets a buch of bullies to rough you up and bully you until everyone else around makes fun of you and joins in. Don't put cement into vending machines kids.

Inserts one septim.

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You get a needy cat.

Inserts a cell phone

 

[Julen]

You get a blackberry

Inserts duke nukem 3

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You get Half-Life 3

Inserts a GardenBurger

 

[Julen]

I peak out of the top of the machine screaming: thanks for giving me my flesh back! And then shoots you in the head


Inserts a jolly rancher

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You get a bag of Jelly Belly candies

Inserts a haypenny

You get AIDS (don't ask why, I don't know)

Found this funny for some reason

 

[Zipline]

A fairy crown dispenses from the machine.
Puts in a rupee.

 

[lyar]

An angry elf in green attacks you with a stick.
Puts in 100 souls

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You receive some dim sum

Inserts a vending machine

 

[Julen]

Breaks the universe and gives you the movie: inception 2

Inserts a 2011 meme

 

[lyar]

Satan himself crawls from the machine, and steals your soul.

Good thing I don't have one.

You get a groovy rainbow afro.

Inserts a fart

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You get a cloud of anti-matter, bent on destroying our universe. But he does like his name, Fart.

Inserts a gallon of gas

 

[x-zombii]

You get a gallon of diesel
Inserts a wooden nickel

 

[Julen]

You get a dissapointed look from your father

Inserts a cheeseburguer

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You get a Gardenburger

Inserts a live cat

 

[Julen]

You start a war and you lose it miserably


Inserts a wii controler

 

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

You get a Wii U controller

Inserts a can of Mountain Dew and a can of crab juice.

 

[Julen]

You get a crab flavoured dorito with an eye drawed in the center. Then you become a living meme.

Inserts an rpg-7

 

[Nemnth]

You get a role-playing game made for kids 7 and up! How cute!

Inserts a BD Dildo

 

[Julen]

You get a weed. Here's a picture of it

Inserts a bag of Swedish Fish

 

[Teniwolf]

You get a bag of Surströmming, enjoy the smell.

Inserts one of Godzilla's nail clippings.