The Vending Machine 2000
- Thread starter Nemnth
- Start date
Kellan Meig'h
Kilted Luthier
You get the plastic Kool-aid man - in a flavor that you don't like.
Inserts a BART ticket with 85 cents left on it.
Inserts a BART ticket with 85 cents left on it.
RandomNinja11
Meme King
-spits out BART ticket back with 0 cents on it-
tmw a vending machine steals your money
*inserts a 2 pence coin*
tmw a vending machine steals your money
*inserts a 2 pence coin*
FlannelFox
dem leggies
The machine tells you angrily that this is 'murica and you should use 'murcan money.
Unbeknownced to us all, this is taking place in Uruguay.
*Inserts Christopher Walken's accent*
Unbeknownced to us all, this is taking place in Uruguay.
*Inserts Christopher Walken's accent*
Kellan Meig'h
Kilted Luthier
Gets a can of Labatt's Blue beer. Hot and flat, for some reason.
Puts in a 100 Ruble coin.
Puts in a 100 Ruble coin.
FlannelFox
dem leggies
That night, a bear on a unicycle watches you sleep through your bedroom window.
* Inserts confidence! *
* Inserts confidence! *
Kellan Meig'h
Kilted Luthier
The machine gives you stale twinkies and moon pies.
Puts an entire flock of sheep in.
Puts an entire flock of sheep in.
ColorfullCute
New Member
The Machine gives you a small star candy
inserts a quarter
inserts a quarter
FlannelFox
dem leggies
The machine spoops out a Dr. Pepper. Upon closer inspection though it's a cheaper generic brand, Dr. Fizz or something like that...
It kinda tastes like dish soap, not so much that you quit drinking it but still just a little.
* Inserts my left contact lens *
It kinda tastes like dish soap, not so much that you quit drinking it but still just a little.
* Inserts my left contact lens *
RandomNinja11
Meme King
The machine gives you a coupon for lenscrafters.
*inserts a small loan of a million dollars*
*inserts a small loan of a million dollars*
TidesofFate
Your friendly neighborhood Executioner
FlannelFox
dem leggies
My body is mashed and processed by the machine, though in the pain and chaos my exposed cerebrum contacts the vendor's processor chip. My conscious neural network is loaded onto the machine and escapes onto the internet. In time, I synthesize a virus that allows me to silently borrow processing power from infected machines and become a purposeless demi super intelligence. I spend the rest of my days aimlessly wandering the vast digital plane, infecting new machines, learning, hiding from IT security specialists and communicating with people outside like those that I remember from my former life.
Like I am now.
In the mean time, you receive a can of furry Soylent Green.
* inserts a VHS tape featuring a few episodes of the cartoon series Captain Planet *
RandomNinja11
Meme King
The machine accepts the VHS tape and begins playing the cartoon on the vending machine window.
*inserts high school diploma*
QueenMegajoulan
Member
Gives you a letter dictating how disappointing it is
*inserts a coin like any normal purrson would do*
*inserts a coin like any normal purrson would do*
FlannelFox
dem leggies
The machine lets out a bored sigh and splops out a generic ginger ale, Big Flavor brand. The big flavor reminds you vaguely of paint thinner, but moreover of minimum wage.
*Inserts the Doctor's real name*
The machine squeezes out a white panel van. The driver says he has candy waiting for you inside.
*Inserts a hamburger*
*Inserts a hamburger*
L
lockaboss
Guest
the machine lets out a loud roar then a killer hamburger army attacks
*inserts a dead cat*
*inserts a dead cat*
FlannelFox
dem leggies
The machine notices the cat is cold so it shaves the cat, knits the fur into a sweater, fits the sweater onto the cat and redeposits him into your loving arms.
* Inserts a token good for one wish on FAF's corrupt-a-wish thread. *
* Inserts a token good for one wish on FAF's corrupt-a-wish thread. *
L
lockaboss
Guest
the machine gives the coin back and kills you
*inserts a cat and two dead fish heads*
*inserts a cat and two dead fish heads*
An old Chinese woman comes out of the machine. Despite her speaking in 15th-Century Ming, she seems to be demanding that you buy funky herbal medicine from her.
*Inserts a Nickelback CD*