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Things you don't like about yourself

Minerva_Minx

Succumbing to her own psychosis
I swing wildly from egocentric and very self-conscious to very open and too giving, seemingly ugly without filter.

Good news, therapy!
 

Rayd

philosophy & psychology nerd
lately literally everyone annoys me, and i can tell it has nothing to do with them because it's genuinely everybody, both online and in real life. something about my mental construct is making me believe that everybody has all these bad traits even if i don't truly know them beyond the surface. it sucks because i just constantly stress out about how everybody annoys me and how i can't have a level relationship with anybody because of it. it's giving me this superiority complex that i don't like.
 

Valryth

Do clouds look down and think I'm one of them?
lately literally everyone annoys me, and i can tell it has nothing to do with them because it's genuinely everybody, both online and in real life. something about my mental construct is making me believe that everybody has all these bad traits even if i don't truly know them beyond the surface. it sucks because i just constantly stress out about how everybody annoys me and how i can't have a level relationship with anybody because of it. it's giving me this superiority complex that i don't like.

The fact that you're able to be self-aware when it comes to this is really positive though. I never experience things to that extent, but I do agree that there are times where I feel like people (who I barely know) annoy me a lot and it's definitely a me problem and not a them problem. Although I think it's also a matter of putting yourself in the right environments, or at least taking a break from some that you're overexposed to.

Of course that you should simply avoid environments that are toxic for you, but the truth is some things that we enjoy can grow toxic for us if we don't take proper breaks/time for ourselves and I think that this also makes a lot of sense ever since the COVID-19 lockdowns started, as a lot of people have been having less things to devote their time to and as minimal as it seems, being reduced to a couple of things really takes a toll on our minds when we're used to a little more.

Not that I have anything to do with your life, but hopefully my advice is helpful somehow.
 

Rayd

philosophy & psychology nerd
The fact that you're able to be self-aware when it comes to this is really positive though. I never experience things to that extent, but I do agree that there are times where I feel like people (who I barely know) annoy me a lot and it's definitely a me problem and not a them problem. Although I think it's also a matter of putting yourself in the right environments, or at least taking a break from some that you're overexposed to.

Of course that you should simply avoid environments that are toxic for you, but the truth is some things that we enjoy can grow toxic for us if we don't take proper breaks/time for ourselves and I think that this also makes a lot of sense ever since the COVID-19 lockdowns started, as a lot of people have been having less things to devote their time to and as minimal as it seems, being reduced to a couple of things really takes a toll on our minds when we're used to a little more.

Not that I have anything to do with your life, but hopefully my advice is helpful somehow.
you're absolutely right. i do involve myself in several communities i really shouldn't, but the fact that i don't really have a place of belonging makes that difficult. i feel gravitated towards the places that make me upset (here, twitter, etc., for online examples) and i feel like if i had somewhere i belonged to, i wouldn't feel the need to return to what makes me unhappy. but i don't have that and haven't for a really long time, and it's resulted in a lot of negative traits in my personality and mental health, unfortunately. it also may be a fulfillment problem. i feel like if i had more fulfilling things in my life i wouldn't let the small things in life bother me like they regularly do. i hope that one day soon i'll have those fulfilling things, whatever they are. until then though, im stuck judging people angrily over the smallest things they do/say that annoy me. it's frustrating.

your advice was helpful. thank you. i appreciate it.
 

Valryth

Do clouds look down and think I'm one of them?
you're absolutely right. i do involve myself in several communities i really shouldn't, but the fact that i don't really have a place of belonging makes that difficult. i feel gravitated towards the places that make me upset (here, twitter, etc., for online examples) and i feel like if i had somewhere i belonged to, i wouldn't feel the need to return to what makes me unhappy. but i don't have that and haven't for a really long time, and it's resulted in a lot of negative traits in my personality and mental health, unfortunately. it also may be a fulfillment problem. i feel like if i had more fulfilling things in my life i wouldn't let the small things in life bother me like they regularly do. i hope that one day soon i'll have those fulfilling things, whatever they are. until then though, im stuck judging people angrily over the smallest things they do/say that annoy me. it's frustrating.

your advice was helpful. thank you. i appreciate it.

You're not as bad as you make yourself seem.

The fact that you're recognising all of this just shows that you're probably just at a troubling time of your life, but it doesn't mean that you're a horrible person. There are many people who probably let themselves get consumed by all of that spite and live thinking that it's everyone else's problem, how unfortunate would that be?

We all have a huge necessity to belong, and unfortunately it isn't always easy. Sometimes it isn't always easy because we're unaware of places where we would be happy, and if all of the options we have are disappointing, then it's easy to get a little sad. I'm telling you all of this but I actually share part of the sentiment, which may or may not be why I understand you. I'm still not really sure where I belong; I'm not really sure about who "my people" are. So I'm really just testing the waters here and there!

Fulfillment is a very interesting topic, and I'm not really sure if I can help you much when it comes to this as I struggle with it a lot. There are a lot of things that I have been accomplishing which should make me feel fulfilled, but ultimately I don't feel any real satisfaction from any of them. I think that it's because I'm already getting a taste of pretty "end-game" stuff yet some of the most basic things from life are things that I still lack (I think that Maslow's Pyramid would explain this quite well.)

It's hard to suggest this as I really don't know you, but have you considered taking a day off for yourself? Maybe you won't even be feeling good on that day, so you'll just spend the whole day annoyed at everything and yourself included, with nothing to do. But I think that eventually you'd feel a little more lighter and prone to entering a mindset where you're able to focus on yourself (which is important because these events that you've described really make you lose track of yourself) and maybe outline some of the things you would like to achieve? It doesn't have to be anything big! Maybe it could be something like "going out for a walk tomorrow" and seeing how you feel afterwards. Small steps!

I'm saying this because I get the feeling that you're at a point where it's only going to spiral downwards, and you may end up feeling pretty bitter towards everything without really knowing why anymore. Unfortunately there is no solution I can offer you, as not only do I lack it myself, but I also believe that this is something that (partly, at least) comes from within.

If you'd ever want to rant at me (even if it's just about how much you hate other people or communities) feel free to, I wouldn't mind being a sounding board for your feelings! Try to take care of yourself, okay?
 

Sylwings

Active Member
that I've made myself so addicted to a fantasy animal.

that I behave like a giant hypersensitive idiot in my time at DKFurs. (Danish furry community).

that I am so miserable to interact with people online (chat).

that I will not change the 3 things.

probably the worst.
 

Firuthi Dragovic

Gamer Dragon, former speedrunner
I was going to go on a tirade about how the things I don't like about myself are also the very things I would not give up if it came down to it. Then I realized the common thread between all of them that gives them their curse-like qualities. That makes for such a better take.

The thing I don't like about myself is that self-control is incredibly difficult and draining for me, meaning I don't do it nearly as much as the world expects of a mid-30s man.

From what I've been able to tell, doing as much self-control as the world wants seems only attainable by a frankly really narrow, rushed, unfulfilling lifestyle. Deciding everything way before I do it, doing some of those tasks with a complete focus on speed... I can't even do some basic investigative stuff because I'll dive into histories far more than is necessary.

Haven't been able to date of my own volition just yet because I'm literally scared I'll hurt someone (not merely their feelings, but THEM) if my capacity for self-control runs out at the wrong time.

My brain doesn't want to prompt more situations where my self-control issues are a problem so I'll leave it at that for now.
 

pythagrias

Member
- my mind constantly is running around in circles. Repetitive thoughts, worries, daydreams etc. They never seem to stop. I literally had the same thoughts on my mind for days one time. It’s like my mind is trying to “perfect” these thoughts with each iteration. Each iteration they change in a different way. Sometimes this makes little thoughts/worries seem way more important than they actually are.

- I have memories and regrets from years ago that I can’t let go.

- If someone is better than me at anything I become incredibly discouraged and feel inadequate.

- I mentally beat myself up too much when I make mistakes.

- Social interactions are difficult for me. I have a hard time even talking online with people online. Every word I write takes way too long to type because my looping “perfectionist” anxiety brain is in control. It takes a lot of effort to try and reach out to people or contribute to a conversation. I only contribute to conversations when it is safe and accessible.

- I am incredibly afraid to show any of my interests to anyone IRL or even online. Even my closest relatives literally know very little about me. This has caused me to hide things or even avoid having certain interests because I am worried about what others might think. This has prevented me from being myself.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
Why do I have to be I craving for affection almost all the time......

I know.. It's from my childhood which had inappropriate form of 'affection' provided to me. And that 'dissatisfaction' is crawling on me. People around me agree that internally I'm still a kid, and well..... I don't know how to solve this! Ó~Ò

And maybe externally too? Some people don't believe I'm a grown-up(in terms of legal age) that they want my ID to confirm it...

Yea it can simply be procedures of safety, but somehow I feel like that.

And now I keep wanting the 'affection', I feel ill.

But good thing that I have no problem at all 'disguising' as a teen. Most of my teen pals never use the 'Honorific Talk' on me... (HR, in Korean culture, MUST be used when talking to older people and/or on business relationships. It's allowed to skip the use of HR when otherwise.) Maybe that's because of my 'young' personality or something... I have to believe so in order to hate myself less :(
 
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NuclearSlayer52

purring like a wolf
i tend to misread and misunderstand things and will end off hurting someone in an attempt to stop anyone from getting hurt

also probably that i think of responses to these types of questions and type everything out but then just leave without posting, mainly because im afraid to hurt others but also because i dont want to get hurt and avoided without anyone trying to understand me, the only reason im posting this is because that thought is being called out, tears start to form every time this happens and the weird throat feelings happen
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
i tend to misread and misunderstand things and will end off hurting someone in an attempt to stop anyone from getting hurt

also probably that i think of responses to these types of questions and type everything out but then just leave without posting, mainly because im afraid to hurt others but also because i dont want to get hurt and avoided without anyone trying to understand me, the only reason im posting this is because that thought is being called out, tears start to form every time this happens and the weird throat feelings happen

I feel you there...

Not to force you or something, it's just me:
I did so too, and I'm still partially doing so. There was a time I blocked all stuff inside me from sharing out that may potentially do harms on anything. But that only made me seclude myself from the crowd, and I felt pain from that. (Slump and loneliness)

Then I thought... if both are painful, why not just venture out to seek any tiny bit of potential to make things at least a bit better? So here I am, sharing stuff. It may go downhill when I do unexpected harm to anything or anybody, but at least it's better than being alone and have 0 improvement and/or freshness.

Adventure gives me everything! How will that work on you? Mind trying it? OwO
 
1. My appearance. Pleh.
2. My voice. I sound dumb.
3. How aggressive I can get with family and just how angry I am all the time.
4. My intelligence. Yes a few people think I'm smart. Do I? No. I see myself as incompetent.
5. How I take genuine criticism as a personal attack
6. I'm too shy to ask for anything and I'm blushing stupidly 24/7 so I probably look like I'm crushing on random people giving me directions I mustered the gut to ask for.
7. Depressed me is just a wreck.
 
- my mind constantly is running around in circles. Repetitive thoughts, worries, daydreams etc. They never seem to stop. I literally had the same thoughts on my mind for days one time. It’s like my mind is trying to “perfect” these thoughts with each iteration. Each iteration they change in a different way. Sometimes this makes little thoughts/worries seem way more important than they actually are.

- I have memories and regrets from years ago that I can’t let go.

- If someone is better than me at anything I become incredibly discouraged and feel inadequate.

- I mentally beat myself up too much when I make mistakes.

- Social interactions are difficult for me. I have a hard time even talking online with people online. Every word I write takes way too long to type because my looping “perfectionist” anxiety brain is in control. It takes a lot of effort to try and reach out to people or contribute to a conversation. I only contribute to conversations when it is safe and accessible.

- I am incredibly afraid to show any of my interests to anyone IRL or even online. Even my closest relatives literally know very little about me. This has caused me to hide things or even avoid having certain interests because I am worried about what others might think. This has prevented me from being myself.

Well, for me it hits too close to home. I too have similar problems and know how awful it is. If you ever want to chat – I’ll be there. English isn’t my first language but I’ll try my best. Just know that you are not alone. I wish you to be happy!
 

Ceriph

Aright, my 'ansum?
Mines rather easy. I’m sure that social anxiety is one of the more common, if not slightly cliche psychological issues in the community. I feel I have a really weird specific social anxiety. My role is rather professional, so - If I have to ring some random clinician half way round the world and discuss some case with them. Not a problem. I can interact with pretty much anyone in my role in fact. I can even take a group of people round and teach them something.

However - in other areas of my life, this same skill just disappears. Interacting with people online is - actually quite hard work. I find it really hard to be open - and release any information about myself. To the point I start questioning whether I fit in a community - because of my own difficulty well, fitting in. However I seem to pass that blame onto others, rather than take some of it myself (probably makes it easier to deal with).

It’s particularly problematic when I need to ask for something I want - nope, that gets binned in that pile of things I’m incapable of doing (so much for ever commissioning any artists!). I even get to the point I draft write out things - then read it through a million and one times till I get so damn embarrassed to send it, I just delete it. So I don’t ask. Which is dumb.

I’ve read some rather cool stories of people who have cured themselves of this issue through the fandom, so I’m somewhat hopeful it’ll maybe aid the situation to be in a community where I can begin to feel myself (and develop this branch of myself through an OC to enable that), however - I do try to be realistic.

My other thing is self deprecation - which I’m super good at. This is most shown when I have to show a skill I have. Or sell myself (like in interviews). And if I have to play an instrument in front of someone, forget it!

I think it’s good to try and end, what seems like a possibly negative response with at least some positive thoughts. Mainly - shouldn’t hate anything about yourself - but, realising that maybe there are a few things you can try to improve isn’t a negative thing. It’s realising that no one is perfect, we all have different burdens to carry and - were all going through different battles at different times . Opening up to others about these issues is absolutely a cathartic, beneficial thing to do. The furry community as a whole seems to be one of the places online where you can openly admit your flaws and differences, and hopefully be accepted on the merits of yourself. In all it’s flaws and imperfections.
 

aomagrat

Well-Known Member
I'm lazy, moody and selfish. My life has been a chain of bad decisions that has left me friendless and alienated from my family. I'm a failure.
 

Good Boy Avery

Level 28 Good Boy
Considering I'm supposed to be seeing a therapist soon for depression, I'd probably stick with that for now.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
I hate being partially deaf on my left ear, but I guess that wasn't my fault.

I'm too bitter with the people my brothers and family bring to the house.
I wish I had the will to wake up early in the mornings to go jogging. On summer no problem, but on winter I complain about the weather.

I think not jogging in winter is a valid excuse. Maybe it's not so bad where you live, but in canada? You're better off skating or getting that intense workout when you have to kick through feet of freshly fallen snow!
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Why do I have to be I craving for affection almost all the time......

I know.. It's from my childhood which had inappropriate form of 'affection' provided to me. And that 'dissatisfaction' is crawling on me. People around me agree that internally I'm still a kid, and well..... I don't know how to solve this! Ó~Ò

And maybe externally too? Some people don't believe I'm a grown-up(in terms of legal age) that they want my ID to confirm it...

Yea it can simply be procedures of safety, but somehow I feel like that.

And now I keep wanting the 'affection', I feel ill.

But good thing that I have no problem at all 'disguising' as a teen. Most of my teen pals never use the 'Honorific Talk' on me... (HR, in Korean culture, MUST be used when talking to older people and/or on business relationships. It's allowed to skip the use of HR when otherwise.) Maybe that's because of my 'young' personality or something... I have to believe so in order to hate myself less :(

When you say young, do you mean how playful you are? Or just how you look/sound?
Cause I don't think there's anything wrong with being playful. It's just a matter of doing it when it's appropriate. XD
 

Mike_Wolf

Well-Known Member
my hair line.
My hair started falling out in high school due to high testosterone levels or something like that so i shave my head. I hate it alot.
But I'm cool young guy bald not old crotchety bastard bald.....i hope.
 

Hiridor

Probably lurking.
I hate being so tall, being 6 foot 7 inches, I have hit my head on many door frames.
 
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JIBBLY

♡ Lovely Baby ♡
I'm not a huge fan of being autistic. That's a part of myself and I can't shake that it is because I don't like everything that comes with being an neurodivergent person. It makes me odd, bouncy and an overall annoyance when my behaviors heighten.

I also dislike that I'm not confident in myself. I mean, for the most part, after spending years avoiding the mirror because I grew disgusted with how I look, I can look at myself again! I can think I'm pretty and my body is okay, even if it's not perfect for everyone! But I just hate that I still have doubts -- the doubts don't just go for this, but for everything. I'm constantly self depreciating and worried about what others think of me and the thought of being disliked in any way is terrifying to me.

I also dislike how I lack social skills because of the confident issues and autism. It makes it harder to communicate and I'm constantly worried about being abandoned.

The things I dislike about myself are like dominoes; they topple something else about me.
 
Well, a lot actually. There is a lot of self-doubt, and it’s often difficult to keep a facade of a strong and confident individual. Also one of my hobbies is creative writing but I almost never publish anything because I am afraid of it being not good enough. Who would even review it – I have only two friends and they both would probably ditch me if they knew the truth about me. Also I dislike my appearance because I look a lot like my father whom I hated. And I hate some medical conditions that interfere with new hobbies that I try. And also there are some other things that make me feel hopeless and trapped. And also the guilt I feel almost constantly.
 
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