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This is it...

D

Deleted member 82554

Guest
Relationships are overrated anyway. You don't necessarily need to be with someone to be happy, and sometimes it can make life worse.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Well there you go. That's a long time to be unhappy with a girlfriend. Especially if you're having lots of arguments. You'll find a better match.
I know but you know what i hate most in my life? Saying goodbye for last time. We knew for at least few weeks the relationship is on the last breath. Finally we had to say "is is over". We didn't broke the contact and we decided to stay as "friends" but you know how it will end
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Relationships are overrated anyway. You don't necessarily need to be with someone to be happy, and sometimes it can make life worse.
I know but i wonder will i say the same thing in 20 years
 

Xavier Fox

Active Member
Well done on having the balls to make the right call rather than dragging it out.
So many people out there are stuck in bad relationships because they are scared of the alternative, worried about being alone, or just so settled in the average they put up with a second rate life rather than seek what they are worth.

It sucks, it's painful, but it leaves you free to seek someone who realises your true value.
Good luck and I wish you well.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Well done on having the balls to make the right call rather than dragging it out.
So many people out there are stuck in bad relationships because they are scared of the alternative, worried about being alone, or just so settled in the average they put up with a second rate life rather than seek what they are worth.

It sucks, it's painful, but it leaves you free to seek someone who realises your true value.
Good luck and I wish you well.
I know man, thanks for a good word but unfortunately I do not view world as a good place. I might be confident but im also full of doubt. What if I meet someone but she will be even worse? What if everything will end up like this time? who knows maybe I just need some time now. She was giving more and more Red Flags that she might have a side dick but I do not have confirmation.

I tried to save the relationship, I did my best but she was spoiled through her life (some people say I have spoiled her and when you compare this relationship to her previous ones it might be true), when something fails I always try another approach but she gives up immiedately and when she told me about polygamy, that she wants me to be one of few special men then I finally gave up. She wants to do experiments, I want a stable family.

Now I have to wait until the feelings (which I still have towards her unfortunately) will pass.

I need some painkillers now
On friday I will meet with my best friend, we are going to party the old Slavic way. If I could I would invite everyone from this thread there
 

Xavier Fox

Active Member
I have been there, but was for more than 2 years.
We had to call it a day, I was on my own for a few years, yes I was lonely, but with the benefit of a relationship already I had a far better idea what I wanted next time round.
Life is a learning experience IMO, and I learned a fair amount.
I made the same mistakes. Spoiling someone can just make them forget a relationship is a two way thing, built on mutual values and respect. Especially when they are younger and less experienced in life.
It's not all about them and the world isn't holding a party in their honour.

It took me a few years but I found someone that likes me for who I am, and many years on it's good. I doubt I'd have found them without the lessons learnt previously.

I'm sure you have a bright future ahead as you have the courage to look for something you want and deserve.
 

Skychickens

Late Healer Ferret
Good job buddy. Sometimes you have to do what is best for everyone.

It’s okay to still like a person but not want to be in a relationship. Some people are much better friends. My mom and her second husband still talk pretty regularly but they cannot live together or be in any sort of relationship with each other other than basic friends or things go flying.

I had a friend who was my roommate for awhile. She was intolerable to live with. I still chat with her and we managed to salvage a good friendship long distance and she finally managed to get and keep a job.

I had a boyfriend once who we had a similar problem as yours. Arguments all the time, I didn’t feel like we were even friends at the point. So I cut it off. People told me I was insane, he was so nice!1! Once I graduated college? I never heard a word from him. Cemented the feeling it wasn’t worth my time. The next actual relationship I got into? Was with my now wife. I had been friends with her for years and I have been with her officially since.

Point is. If they’re worth any form of your affection, even just friends, they’ll stick around. If not, it was for the best. Gives you time to find someone who does matter.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Hey, i just wanted to thank you all, i am still broken a bit but also motivated.
I dont know if i would do it without you. Honestly, when i was reading your experiences i decided to learn something as well.


I spoke to her and no we will not be together obviously but i asked her for honest answer and she said she didn't left me for anyone which was a relief. We can stay friends but none of us knows how will it go, afterall none of us had any contact to our exes before. I want to know how is she doing as 2.5years is pretty lot if you ask me. I will propably never see her irl again and this is one of the things that are hardest now. We will not have good night talks anymore either. We can still skype but obviously much less now and i hope it will not be fake or anything.

I told her that despite what happened i still care about her and that she is my flower, she told me that there are whole meadows out there... that was strange.

Anyway i wanted to thank you guys for being here with me.
Weird, when it comes to practical problems there is nothing i cannot sort and even emotions are rare for me but once they hit im completely hopeless
 

David Drake

Representative of Naboo
I just want to kinda dip in here and say that there is nothing wrong with polyamory...provided of course everyone involved is okay with it. It's not for everyone, and in any relationship you need to have respect for the other person's boundaries, even though those boundaries can widen with the right person.

Something I learned recently, as I just ended a very long term relationship that had a toxic and abusive core.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
I just want to kinda dip in here and say that there is nothing wrong with polyamory...provided of course everyone involved is okay with it. It's not for everyone, and in any relationship you need to have respect for the other person's boundaries, even though those boundaries can widen with the right person.

Something I learned recently, as I just ended a very long term relationship that had a toxic and abusive core.

I did, hell i have even swallowed my pride for her as i decided to try it. But i live 1.600km away from her and the relationship had more and more problem for around a year.
we propably would split for others anyway so we decided for less devastating approach
 
Z

ZeroVoidTime

Guest
I just want to kinda dip in here and say that there is nothing wrong with polyamory...provided of course everyone involved is okay with it. It's not for everyone, and in any relationship you need to have respect for the other person's boundaries, even though those boundaries can widen with the right person.

Something I learned recently, as I just ended a very long term relationship that had a toxic and abusive core.
^This, and I hope you find someone else HistoricallyIncorrect as there are plenty of decent humans out there! :D
 

Connor J. Coyote

¥otie ¥otezer
Difficult relationships are very hard to get over (once they're over with); but.. eventually the old-saying that "time heals all wounds" does indeed ring true. As sooner or later - we move on and we realize that it's not the end of the world - once our relationship ends. It takes time, of course; (but in the end) you're much better off being alone - than with someone that causes you constant grief.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
^This, and I hope you find someone else HistoricallyIncorrect as there are plenty of decent humans out there! :D
I know man but when I looked at other girls they look all the same, she was different, she had class. I will deffinitely not find second girl just like her but when I looked on town at girl and I heard them swearing, saw them smoking and bragging on how many dicks they rode on... well... you see my problem don't you?
 
Z

ZeroVoidTime

Guest
I know man but when I looked at other girls they look all the same, she was different, she had class. I will deffinitely not find second girl just like her but when I looked on town at girl and I heard them swearing, saw them smoking and bragging on how many dicks they rode on... well... you see my problem don't you?
Right I understand your feelings about your situation. So do not worry, but also keep in mind that you can insult your ex-girlfriend as much as you want. The only time I will oppose it is if it gets out of hand, and turns violent; since I do not wish to see anyone get hurt permanently and/or die.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Right I understand your feelings about your situation. So do not worry, but also keep in mind that you can insult your ex-girlfriend as much as you want. The only time I will oppose it is if it gets out of hand, and turns violent; since I do not wish to see anyone get hurt permanently and/or die.
I will never insult her, not only for my respect to her but for my own honour. I will never insult nor hit a woman
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Bravo.☺ I wish every guy was like you.
And I wish there were more women that respect themselves and their men. You see... I know difference between woman and whore
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
And I wish there were more women that respect themselves and their men. You see... I know difference between woman and whore
Stop it right there.

1) There are plenty of classy, dignified full-service sex workers out there. Prostitution doesn't make them any less women or worthy of respect. Using "whore" in that manner is highly inappropriate.
2) It's fine to want monogamy. It's fine to not want to date a woman who smokes or swears. It's not fine to speak as though women who don't fit your particular standard are lesser.
3) You yourself mentioned in another thread you're currently looking for a quick lay. If that's okay for you to do, don't imply that women who enjoy sex don't "respect themselves and their men". By that logic you don't respect yourself (or your woman).
4) In general, your recent posts in this thread practically reek of madonna-whore complex and slut shaming culture. It's insulting, and it's hypocritical.
 
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HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Stop it right there.

1) There are plenty of classy, dignified full-service sex workers out there. Prostitution doesn't make them any less women or worthy of respect. Using "whore" in that manner is highly inappropriate.
2) It's fine to want monogamy. It's fine to not want to date a woman who smokes or swears. It's not fine to speak as though women who don't fit your particular standard are lesser.
3) You yourself mentioned in another thread you're currently looking for a quick lay. If that's okay for you to do, don't imply that women who enjoy sex don't "respect themselves and their men".
4) In general, your recent posts in this thread practically reek of madonna-whore complex and slut shaming culture. It's insulting, and it's hypocritical.

1) I saw prostitutes that have much more self respect than the "whores" im talking about. How would you call the woman that every Friday is looking for a different father for a accidental kid? If you have a name for it then I would like to learn it.
2) smoking and swearing were supposed to be methaphorical only. I meant mostly patological type of woman
3)The quick lay is not something I would enjoy to be honest. I just want a painkiller after breakup but in this case I want to build up relationship. If you think I will go to bed with someone after few min of talking then im afraid you are wrong.
4) I do not really understand this one. I want a woman that will respect herself and will not cheat on me with a first dude in club
 

WithMyBearHands

Smudge and arrogant
Yeah I’m pretty sure OP was using the word to describe morally distasteful behavior, like cheating and being a shitty parent. I don’t agree with the use of the word “whore” but in this context no one is talking about legit sex workers. I have eons of respect for sex workers, I have no respect for selfish people.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
1) I saw prostitutes that have much more self respect than the "whores" im talking about. How would you call the woman that every Friday is looking for a different father for a accidental kid? If you have a name for it then I would like to learn it.
2) smoking and swearing were supposed to be methaphorical only. I meant mostly patological type of woman
3)The quick lay is not something I would enjoy to be honest. I just want a painkiller after breakup but in this case I want to build up relationship. If you think I will go to bed with someone after few min of talking then im afraid you are wrong.
4) I do not really understand this one. I want a woman that will respect herself and will not cheat on me with a first dude in club
1) You don't need to call her anything. It's not your job to call her names. If she makes the life choice to sleep around, then that's her life choice. It's especially inappropriate to call her something that denigrates a whole different group. When you use "whore" as an insult, you are also suggesting that women who have sex for money are trash. You were the one who said you would never insult a woman, yet you feel the need to attach labels to women whose behavior you disapprove of.

2) It doesn't matter if you meant the smoking and swearing metaphorically. It's still not acceptable to speak of them as though they are lesser for not being the type of woman you're personally looking for.

3) You're the one who said you were looking for "a hole". Not only is that pretty demeaning language, it absolutely suggests that you're looking for a quick hookup. If you want to build a relationship, great, good for you! Looking for a rebound fuck isn't going to help with that.

4) The madonna-whore complex is a psychoanalytic term, which I was evoking in a more popular/metaphorical way; you come off as having a very binary view of women, where women who are sexually active and satisfied with their sex lives are ascribed a whole mess of negative attributes, and women who meet your standards (which come off as pretty puritanical by the way you speak about this) are venerated.

If you want a woman who desires monogamy, self-respect has little to do with that. And you're more likely to have a chance with a woman who respects herself, if you re-evaluate how you speak about women in general, including women whose life choices you disapprove of.
 

Connor J. Coyote

¥otie ¥otezer
And I wish there were more women that respect themselves and their men. You see... I know difference between woman and whore
Oh dear.. I'm so disappointed to read that, hun.

Sex workers really deserve their props.. as they go through so much garbage.. both personally and legally - (just to put food on the table, sometimes) - it's a crying shame. It's nasty, dirty, and dangerous work also; that said - it's better to just cut your losses and move on... and not dwell on it too much either.

There's other fish in the sea... as the saying goes. ☺
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
1) You don't need to call her anything. It's not your job to call her names. If she makes the life choice to sleep around, then that's her life choice. It's especially inappropriate to call her something that denigrates a whole different group. When you use "whore" as an insult, you are also suggesting that women who have sex for money are trash. You were the one who said you would never insult a woman, yet you feel the need to attach labels to women whose behavior you disapprove of.

2) It doesn't matter if you meant the smoking and swearing metaphorically. It's still not acceptable to speak of them as though they are lesser for not being the type of woman you're personally looking for.

3) You're the one who said you were looking for "a hole". Not only is that pretty demeaning language, it absolutely suggests that you're looking for a quick hookup. If you want to build a relationship, great, good for you! Looking for a rebound fuck isn't going to help with that.

4) The madonna-whore complex is a psychoanalytic term, which I was evoking in a more popular/metaphorical way; you come off as having a very binary view of women, where women who are sexually active and satisfied with their sex lives are ascribed a whole mess of negative attributes, and women who meet your standards (which come off as pretty puritanical by the way you speak about this) are venerated.

If you want a woman who desires monogamy, self-respect has little to do with that. And you're more likely to have a chance with a woman who respects herself, if you re-evaluate how you speak about women in general, including women whose life choices you disapprove of.

Oh dear.. I'm so disappointed to read that, hun.

Sex workers really deserve their props.. as they go through so much garbage.. both personally and legally - (just to put food on the table, sometimes) - it's a crying shame. It's nasty, dirty, and dangerous work also; that said - it's better to just cut your losses and move on... and not dwell on it too much either.

There's other fish in the sea... as the saying goes. ☺

Hmm... I think i need to straighten up what I said. @WithMyBearHands had made a good point. I do not mean Whore as a sex worker as I would use term prostitute, you of course I see find it insulting yes and I do not blame you but but in this case being female has got quite few meanings for me. If a woman is taking a trolley with kid in bright green skirt out on the town (my friends ex) to cheat her man with someone on a bar table then she is trash to me or "whore". Opinions differ
For male version of this I use the term "dickhead"

When I said a quick hole I meant a painkiller and yes I admit it sounds hipocritical. In fact when I think about it I do not even know why did I used it like this. I could never do one night stands and yes I prefer to cuddle with a girl I love other than quickly fucking the one i do not. Maybe the emotions or simple will to "show off" happened. Im sorry for what I said

If a woman is sexually active BUT she has no obligations towards her man then yes it is her business but if she does have obligations she aggreed on, if she takes drugs, cheats on man, everyday different man and leaves the kid in drunken uncles home then for me she is... exactly and yes I will defy them like this


Never have I called self respecting woman worse than witch butif you saw what I saw you would quickly change your mind
 
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