Tooksail the Copper-Scale needs insults!

[Foxy Emy]

So, I am putting together a new OC. A fun, scaly character! A little aasimar (meaning she has celestial blood) Kobold named Tooksail the Copper-Scale. A.k.a. Tooksi.

She is a witty bard that I am playing her in a pathfinder campaign. More specifically, she is a satirist executioner who punishes convicts by satirizing them to a literal death. So, I need some witty insults to borrow as material as there is only so much I can come up with o the fly.

We will be fighting a lot of necromancers and liches so undead jokes would be great.

*The bard roasts you. Take 2d6 fire damage.*

 

[Skittles]

Omg I love this concept!

 

[Skittles]

"Need a hand? I think I have yours!" Slash damage

 

[Tyno]

"When your mom told you to make some friends she didn't mean this!"
(Also yay kobold master race)

 

[Ziggy Schlacht]

"Look, I know you said you'd die for your master. But you're already dead. You can leave"
"My rapier wit is to die for... quite literally"
"Even for a corpse, you're still ugly"
"Raising a family is hard, let me put them to dead for you"
"You seem to have forgotten that the dead don't move. Hold still please"

 

[Arnak]

You fight like a child.

You got guts, I think I'll take em

A level one put up more resistance than you

Shame life was wasted on you

Id tell you nice try, but it wasn't

(Any of these good?)

 

[Breyo]

"You're gonna hope that you can raise yourself from the dead when I'm done with you!"
"Smelly AND hideous? Wow, aren't you a prize?"

 

[Tyno]

You got guts, I think I'll take em

Against skelebois you can change this insult.
Are you sure you wanna fight? I think you lack the guts.

(not really an insult but...)
Why are you coffin.

 

[Elliot Manowar]

Your scales aren't copper colored. They're piss colored with go with your shit brown outfit.

 

[TR273]

'I knew you didn't have the HEART! to face me!
(Running someone through)

'You lack the STOMACH for this fight!'
(Disemboweling attack)

The only thing sharper than my wit is my sword!

Killing you with be both a pleasure and a mercy killing.

You weren't using that?
(Cutting anything off)

I don't like to speak ill of the dead... I just stab them instead.

Necromancer? More like No-Neck-romancer.

 

[Foxy Emy]

"I would recommend a cucumber mask to get rid of those bags under your eyes; becoming a lich hasn't done your face any favors. Let's face it, you don't have enough face left! I would probably be better if I just removed what's left."

 

[Foxy Emy]

Shame life was wasted on you.

(Any of these good?)

Change that to "unlife" and it is golden.

 

[AceQuorthon]

”Was your mother a necrophile you fiend?!”