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Trouble making friends & cat screms

-sad cat screeching-

So I'm originally from Chicago, and I never realized how friendly people were in the Midwest were until moving to LA 2 years ago.

I've been trying to make friends ever since.

No one in this heckin city wants to talk to people.

I've tried friend meeting sites, Meetup.com, Facebook groups, mama even got desperate and tried OKCupid to find friends. Nope. Not a single one, furry or otherwise. I even joined a Discord SPECIFICALLY for SoCal Furries and it was deleted the next day. I would say "oh it must be me", but I haven't even gotten the chance to talk to someone in order to fuck it up XD

I'm told conventions might work, but my work life has been uh, unforgiving, so that's not a thing I've been able to attend either XD

Thanks for listening to my screms. Have you guys had the same troubles when moving to a new state/city, anyone have any opinions on LA who is also a non-native? Also, anyone North of LA need a sad cat friend? ;u;
 
Hi CoolCool! Sorry you've had such a rough time. I'm originally from New York State, and trust me: I know how you feel. The personalities of the people up there are as cold as a New York winter. When my brother got married to a girl he met while stationed in Louisiana, I was shocked by how friendly the people were there. I mean, they actually waved and smiled at you when you walked by instead of looking like they wanted to kill you!

I hope things aren't quite THAT bad for you where you are. I'll keep my scaly little claws crossed!
 

GarthTheWereWolf

Captious Lycanthrope of Forum Legend
Can confirm. Us Californians are just mean.
 

Dongding

The sheep
Lol where I live in Canada people must be real friendly then. We're honestly put off when someone doesn't hold a door awkwardly because you're still like 15 feet away, or apologize needlessly.

I hear we're friendly but I figured that was just an exaggeration.
 

Ciderfine

Slow as sickness but true as sap
Banned
I mean the westcoast is legit hell, thats your numba one problem there.
 

pupsicle-c

berries & cream
This is such a big mood. I live in SC, where being a furry might as well be equivalent to wearing a target on your backside. My college has a FurClub but since I'm not on-campus atm I haven't been able to go to any meetings. / w \'
 

real time strategist

"What's an airport, again?"
So I'm originally from Chicago, and I never realized how friendly people were in the Midwest were until moving to LA 2 years ago.

I've been trying to make friends ever since.

No one in this heckin city wants to talk to people.
Shit, I thought that Massachusetts was just filled with dicks, but I guess not. I know where you are coming from though, I was born in Madison and we moved to a town called Norton (it's near Boston) in first grade, and for some reason if you aren't born in the North East or have lived there for 10 years, everyone hates you, the everyday bullying got me to the point of me trying to suicide when I was about nine years old, we moved back to Wisconsin after fourth grade and things have gotten a lot better.
 
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S

Sealab

Guest
Oh man that stinks. I moved to the deep south where people are nice to you even when you don't want them to be. They wait behind corners in dark alleys to stop you and ask, "How y'all doin'? Ev'thing alrigh'?" You just gotta be aggressive my dude. Kick the door in; smack them around a little. Jump on the counter at your local coffee shop and start screeching. What I mean is you gotta change your tactics.
 

Dongding

The sheep
for some reason if you aren't born in the North East or have lived there for 10 years, everyone hates you
Haha yeah. You're never one of them when you move to a small town. You'll always be an outsider. Small towns are uhh... charming that way.
 

dogryme6

Duality Fluff Dragon
Haha yeah. You're never one of them when you move to a small town. You'll always be an outsider. Small towns are uhh... charming that way.
... "Charming."
But uh yeah I think I know what that's like. New person comes to small town, everyone's apprehensive of them, like "What buz'niss 'ave ya got 'ere?" and the like.
I guess it's better to be somewhere in the middle range, where there's enough people that they aren't immediately distrusting of you and you can't get in any of their cliques, but not so many people that they're absolutely careless towards anyone they don't know.
 

Dongding

The sheep
I prefer a cold unfeeling city myself. When I lived in a small town it was strange. Every car that goes by has a person waving "Hi" to you as they go by almost without exception. You have to wave or you're an A-hole. (700 people lived there at the time.) That and you hear rumors you started yourself, later on the same day from someone else. Oh the gossip. 3:

As far as skeptisim goes, you simply exist as "that guy who moved here a while ago." The permanent residents estimate it takes about 10 years before people come around to considering you to be one of them.
 

dogryme6

Duality Fluff Dragon
I prefer a cold unfeeling city myself. When I lived in a small town it was strange. Every car that goes by has a person waving "Hi" to you as they go by almost without exception. You have to wave or you're an A-hole. (700 people lived there at the time.) That and you hear rumors you started yourself, later on the same day from someone else. Oh the gossip. 3:

As far as skeptisim goes, you simply exist as "that guy who moved here a while ago." The permanent residents estimate it takes about 10 years before people come around to considering you to be one of them.
Yup, still a mid-ranger. I mean, I stay indoors all the time and I don't go anywhere much. But every once in a while when I go to the grocery stores I'll meet a teacher I haven't seen in a while from high school and that's awkward because they recognize me and I forgot their names.
... I guess I prefer not to be recognized than to be recognized, when it comes to IRL. Which is somewhat amusing because while I don't want to come off as voracious for attention like extreme extroverts, I can't deny that I do want all eyes on me in the furry fandom.
 

MsRavage

peek-a-boo!!! I see you!
Hey fellow californian :D im in orange county which is a good hour from LA with traffic hahaha. I suggest going to a junior college and joining some clubs.
 
S

Some Moron

Guest
Talking is hard. People are dumb. You're not missing out.
 

GreenZone

Banned
Banned
i find the same thing when travelling internationally

in the magical land of Oz its almost customary to ask random people you meet how their day has been going e.g

Store clerk: hows it going?
Customer: yeah not too bad yourself mate?
Store clerk: *talks about day* what about yourself been up to anything?
Customer: *talks about his day*
Store clerk: so what can i help you with today?

like i shit you not this is what most of Aus is like but you go to like US or Europe and no one talks to each other i even found New Zealand to be a culture shock when people didn't even say hello or smile
 

DarkoKavinsky

ʎʇʇɐq ʇıq ɐ
I live in the Midwest and have the same issue. I've gotten death stares by holding the hand of at the time girlfriend.

Like this was a pause before going in the house glare. The type of look you'd give somebody whose having sex on your lawn and the cops won't come. That level of pissed off.

granted politically where I grew up is the same as LA so I have theories on that.

Basically I'd never want to move to Cali. I'd even be upset at having a flight with a turn over in LAX. Sorry guys from what I've seen heard and had to deal with buying car parts from CA people. I don't know what you lot think!
 

DarkoKavinsky

ʎʇʇɐq ʇıq ɐ
i find the same thing when travelling internationally

in the magical land of Oz its almost customary to ask random people you meet how their day has been going e.g

Store clerk: hows it going?
Customer: yeah not too bad yourself mate?
Store clerk: *talks about day* what about yourself been up to anything?
Customer: *talks about his day*
Store clerk: so what can i help you with today?

like i shit you not this is what most of Aus is like but you go to like US or Europe and no one talks to each other i even found New Zealand to be a culture shock when people didn't even say hello or smile
Went to Australia can confirm. Had a nice conversation with a bus driver as the rest of the group I was in burnt to death in the outback. I was fine oddly enough :v
 

dogryme6

Duality Fluff Dragon
the sun here legit kills tourists the hole in the ozone layer is right above AUS and people from colder climates like UK or Canada have actually died not realising its a deadly lazer
This might sound like what Patrick suggested for Bikini Bottom, but...
How about we take some ozone from somewhere else, and put it there?
 

Skychickens

Late Healer Ferret
Wait until you end up in the south then the Midwest seems like it’s full of ignorant, abraisive jerks.
 
Oh my lord this thread blew up while I was away. God I need to stay on top of these things more OTL.


Hi CoolCool! Sorry you've had such a rough time. I'm originally from New York State, and trust me: I know how you feel. The personalities of the people up there are as cold as a New York winter. When my brother got married to a girl he met while stationed in Louisiana, I was shocked by how friendly the people were there. I mean, they actually waved and smiled at you when you walked by instead of looking like they wanted to kill you!

I hope things aren't quite THAT bad for you where you are. I'll keep my scaly little claws crossed!

Thank you! I hope those scaley claws bring me some luck ;u;


Can confirm. Us Californians are just mean.

Blease love me


I mean the westcoast is legit hell, thats your numba one problem there.

You super right tho, at least for California. Please bury me in the rain and cold of Oregon kthanx.


Oh man that stinks. I moved to the deep south where people are nice to you even when you don't want them to be. They wait behind corners in dark alleys to stop you and ask, "How y'all doin'? Ev'thing alrigh'?" You just gotta be aggressive my dude. Kick the door in; smack them around a little. Jump on the counter at your local coffee shop and start screeching. What I mean is you gotta change your tactics.

If I wasn't so shy and nervous even talking to the barista I just might XD Though with the people I've seen in Cali, especially LA, I don't think anyone would even bat an eye. Having family from the South, you are so on the money tho. After living in two major cities, any time someone looks me in the eye I'm like "Okay I guess we fightin", so meeting people from the South I'm like "what do you mean you just want to ask how I am"


Shit, I thought that Massachusetts was just filled with dicks, but I guess not. I know where you are coming from though, I was born in Madison and we moved to a town called Norton (it's near Boston) in first grade, and for some reason if you aren't born in the North East or have lived there for 10 years, everyone hates you, the everyday bullying got me to the point of me trying to suicide when I was about nine years old, we moved back to Wisconsin after fourth grade and things have gotten a lot better.

Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad to hear you are doing better though. Ya, East Coast is very rough if you move there, especially in the Mass/Jersey area.


I prefer a cold unfeeling city myself. When I lived in a small town it was strange. Every car that goes by has a person waving "Hi" to you as they go by almost without exception. You have to wave or you're an A-hole. (700 people lived there at the time.) That and you hear rumors you started yourself, later on the same day from someone else. Oh the gossip. 3:

As far as skeptisim goes, you simply exist as "that guy who moved here a while ago." The permanent residents estimate it takes about 10 years before people come around to considering you to be one of them.

Ya I'm personally not a fan of small towns because everyone knows everyone...and they thus talk about everyone XD


I live in the Midwest and have the same issue. I've gotten death stares by holding the hand of at the time girlfriend.

Like this was a pause before going in the house glare. The type of look you'd give somebody whose having sex on your lawn and the cops won't come. That level of pissed off.

granted politically where I grew up is the same as LA so I have theories on that.

Basically I'd never want to move to Cali. I'd even be upset at having a flight with a turn over in LAX. Sorry guys from what I've seen heard and had to deal with buying car parts from CA people. I don't know what you lot think!


Luckily Cali is waaay more accepting of...just about anything here, at least Hollywood/Santa Monica is. And quite honestly, if you are having sex on your lawn, the cops very well might not come XD I have literally only seen LAPD when they find a body, which now makes me nervous every time I see a patrol car.


the sun here legit kills tourists the hole in the ozone layer is right above AUS and people from colder climates like UK or Canada have actually died not realising its a deadly lazer

The Sun is evil and I vote we ban it.
 
Hey fellow californian :D im in orange county which is a good hour from LA with traffic hahaha. I suggest going to a junior college and joining some clubs.

Would be a good idea if I could afford to go back XD currently aiming to go to an animation academy near me, so that'll be a start. Or I could just hang around like a fucking creep at a local college XD


Talking is hard. People are dumb. You're not missing out.
I mean you right
 

Open_Mind

Well-Known Member
Well, you've got a friend on the East Coast.
...waves
Just keep a positive attitude and a smile on your face. Be ready for the opportunity to make a new friend when it comes along. Maybe start your very own Meetup event! Set it for a local library, or IHOP restaurant, and just see if anyone shows up! The worst that can happen is no change in your situation. But you never know...:D
 
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