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Vent Thread

Tendo64

Cat With A Guitar
I hope this isn't too dark for this thread. I won't be mad if an admin sees fit to remove this post.

Normally, I wouldn't share this kinda thing in a public space, but the headspace I'm in refuses to allow me to vent to my friends rn because I keep worrying I'm a downer to them, and I already vented about something unrelated recently so I just feel bad. I wanted to not talk about this at all but keeping it in is driving me crazy, so here I am.

These past few days I've been feeling... really shitty. I don't know why. Just suddenly out of nowhere I've felt miserable almost non-stop for seemingly no reason. I can't sum up the courage to do anything I want to do, and nothing is making me feel better. I've tried talking to family but they aren't much help, they just keep telling me I'll feel better when X happens or whatever but I don't think that has to do with what I'm feeling right now. There's no specific thing making me feel this way. I just want to sleep all day every day and not have to feel anything, and there's nothing that I'm specifically thinking about or wishing would happen.

I feel like there isn't really anything anyone can say to make me feel better, but I guess I'll post this here just in case. I'm desperate at this point.
 
I hope this isn't too dark for this thread. I won't be mad if an admin sees fit to remove this post.

Normally, I wouldn't share this kinda thing in a public space, but the headspace I'm in refuses to allow me to vent to my friends rn because I keep worrying I'm a downer to them, and I already vented about something unrelated recently so I just feel bad. I wanted to not talk about this at all but keeping it in is driving me crazy, so here I am.

These past few days I've been feeling... really shitty. I don't know why. Just suddenly out of nowhere I've felt miserable almost non-stop for seemingly no reason. I can't sum up the courage to do anything I want to do, and nothing is making me feel better. I've tried talking to family but they aren't much help, they just keep telling me I'll feel better when X happens or whatever but I don't think that has to do with what I'm feeling right now. There's no specific thing making me feel this way. I just want to sleep all day every day and not have to feel anything, and there's nothing that I'm specifically thinking about or wishing would happen.

I feel like there isn't really anything anyone can say to make me feel better, but I guess I'll post this here just in case. I'm desperate at this point.
Textbook depression. I know it sounds stupid and overdone at this point, but go sit outside if you can. From experience this helps.
 

ben909

character has returned
I hope this isn't too dark for this thread. I won't be mad if an admin sees fit to remove this post.

Normally, I wouldn't share this kinda thing in a public space, but the headspace I'm in refuses to allow me to vent to my friends rn because I keep worrying I'm a downer to them, and I already vented about something unrelated recently so I just feel bad. I wanted to not talk about this at all but keeping it in is driving me crazy, so here I am.

These past few days I've been feeling... really shitty. I don't know why. Just suddenly out of nowhere I've felt miserable almost non-stop for seemingly no reason. I can't sum up the courage to do anything I want to do, and nothing is making me feel better. I've tried talking to family but they aren't much help, they just keep telling me I'll feel better when X happens or whatever but I don't think that has to do with what I'm feeling right now. There's no specific thing making me feel this way. I just want to sleep all day every day and not have to feel anything, and there's nothing that I'm specifically thinking about or wishing would happen.

I feel like there isn't really anything anyone can say to make me feel better, but I guess I'll post this here just in case. I'm desperate at this point.
is it possibly something indirect, if you really cannot pin it to an event, it could be a chemical thing, even lack of some nutrients can possibly cause that

if this is an isolated few day thing, there is a chance you are sick with something, this sort of happened when my younger brother was really crabby and looking depressed for a time, and we could not find what it was, until he got better and others started to get tired and/or crabby for a bit
 

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
XD Sounds very much like me whenever Windows/Microsoft gives me nothing but hassle. I had to find ways to disable their updates for my current system because the last time they spat out updates, it fucking bricked my MBR, so I had to wait hours, from 6AM to or to 11AM for a system restore to finish, going back days before the updates.

I swear, they NEVER learn! Mostly those who used MS-DOS, they didn't learn then, and they sure as hell will not learn now.

As for Tendo, is does sound much like depression, I've had it since I was a child, and it is a real bitch to have. It's really not surprising there will be a rise with depression because of the COVID-19 issue. It's not easy, I know. I mean, I'm stuck in doors until sundown because I'm allergic to sunlight.

We all have good days, and we all have shitty days. If you ever need to vent, feel free to shoot me a PM or something, I often offer an ear to my friends when they're feeling down.

Have you tried ways to do things to keep yourself busy? I mostly play games, binge on Netflix, or Spotify for pod casts, or YouTube for videos. Maybe try going outside for a bit of fresh air, that can sometimes help with depression.
 

Tendo64

Cat With A Guitar
Textbook depression. I know it sounds stupid and overdone at this point, but go sit outside if you can. From experience this helps.

As for Tendo, is does sound much like depression, I've had it since I was a child, and it is a real bitch to have. It's really not surprising there will be a rise with depression because of the COVID-19 issue. It's not easy, I know. I mean, I'm stuck in doors until sundown because I'm allergic to sunlight.

We all have good days, and we all have shitty days. If you ever need to vent, feel free to shoot me a PM or something, I often offer an ear to my friends when they're feeling down.

Have you tried ways to do things to keep yourself busy? I mostly play games, binge on Netflix, or Spotify for pod casts, or YouTube for videos. Maybe try going outside for a bit of fresh air, that can sometimes help with depression.
I'm aware it does sound like clinical depression. I didn't mention that however because I've never been diagnosed with it (though i haven't been told i don't have it either, i've not been able to seek a professional yet). Also, this is pretty recent, and not something I've dealt with for a long time. At least not like this.

Anyway, I'm actually currently staying at a family member's house, who I usually like staying with, so I have gotten out of the house for the record. (and no, this didn't cause it. I asked to stay over because it started the day before) On Friday I also had a pretty extensive day out, and I've been watching a lot of YouTube and stuff lately, including today and these past few days. So I don't know what the problem is.

is it possibly something indirect, if you really cannot pin it to an event, it could be a chemical thing, even lack of some nutrients can possibly cause that

if this is an isolated few day thing, there is a chance you are sick with something, this sort of happened when my younger brother was really crabby and looking depressed for a time, and we could not find what it was, until he got better and others started to get tired and/or crabby for a bit
I'm not sure. I'm not showing any symptoms of anything I don't think.
 
I'm aware it does sound like clinical depression. I didn't mention that however because I've never been diagnosed with it (though i haven't been told i don't have it either, i've not been able to seek a professional yet). Also, this is pretty recent, and not something I've dealt with for a long time. At least not like this.

Anyway, I'm actually currently staying at a family member's house, who I usually like staying with, so I have gotten out of the house for the record. (and no, this didn't cause it. I asked to stay over because it started the day before) On Friday I also had a pretty extensive day out, and I've been watching a lot of YouTube and stuff lately, including today and these past few days. So I don't know what the problem is.


I'm not sure. I'm not showing any symptoms of anything I don't think.
I know mine didn't really start acting up until about 5 years ago, comes in annoying spurts. Not a doctor obviously, but at least you're noticing something is up. There's days when some don't even realize. So thats a good thing. Maybe when you're back home, and able to handle it, see if your covered for even just a visit or two to a mental health expert. They might be able to help more.

Hope everything gets better soon.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
I'm aware it does sound like clinical depression. I didn't mention that however because I've never been diagnosed with it (though i haven't been told i don't have it either, i've not been able to seek a professional yet). Also, this is pretty recent, and not something I've dealt with for a long time. At least not like this.

Anyway, I'm actually currently staying at a family member's house, who I usually like staying with, so I have gotten out of the house for the record. (and no, this didn't cause it. I asked to stay over because it started the day before) On Friday I also had a pretty extensive day out, and I've been watching a lot of YouTube and stuff lately, including today and these past few days. So I don't know what the problem is.
Sometimes people can also have depressive episodes without having chronic depression (what most people think of when they hear "depression"). Brains gonna brain, and sometimes they aren't very good at it. I'm not by any means saying don't seek help if you have the chance (by all means do!), just... don't worry too hard for now about "what if I have depression?" I hope that this is something passing, for you, because depression suuucks, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Keeping busy is good, but make sure you don't overtax yourself, and make double extra sure that you take care of your sleep. I have pretty severe chronic depression, and have had sleep issues since half a forever (I rarely if ever sleep through the whole night, and haven't for approximately 20 years). Recently I got put on a new medication to see if that would help my sleep, and while it's not perfect, it's made my sleep a lot better, and I feel better overall, presumably at least in part as a result of not always being a sleep deprived zombie. If you have animals or family members you feel comfortable touching around, hugs and other positive physical contact are also good, healthy ways of boosting your mood/emotional state.

And look at cute baby animal photos. ;)
(That's not intended to be dismissive, to be clear. It's half light-hearted, half sincere advice because looking at cute things does seem to do a lot to help my mood, at least. I hope you feel better soon!)
 

Rayd

profound asshole
i spent all day writing something for this threads return that was several pages long that i can't replicate even if i wanted to. and i come to find out that the place i could have sworn i saved it, it isn't there, and i'm pretty sure it's due to a unauthorized windows update. don't think i've ever been so frustrated in my life. to the point of tears. i documented the topic almost perfectly and i won't be able to do it again.
 

Erix

>‿‿◕
i spent all day writing something for this threads return that was several pages long that i can't replicate even if i wanted to. and i come to find out that the place i could have sworn i saved it, it isn't there, and i'm pretty sure it's due to a unauthorized windows update. don't think i've ever been so frustrated in my life. to the point of tears. i documented the topic almost perfectly and i won't be able to do it again.
Shit man, sorry to hear that friend. I’m sure it was awesome and would’ve been a very thoughtful post to have read through :c

I know this is a pretty mediocre comment in comparison to what you probably wrote, but I just wanted to say that for your post, at least it was the thought that counted. I’m pretty sure we’re all happy this thread is back. This thread from what I’ve seen has acted as a shoulder for people to lean on, and it’s fuckin great.

Perhaps you can find it in yourself again to summarize what you wrote, I’d be still down to read what you had in store, even if it’s only a bit of it.
 

Pomorek

Antelope-Addicted Hyena
i spent all day writing something for this threads return that was several pages long that i can't replicate even if i wanted to. and i come to find out that the place i could have sworn i saved it, it isn't there, and i'm pretty sure it's due to a unauthorized windows update. don't think i've ever been so frustrated in my life. to the point of tears. i documented the topic almost perfectly and i won't be able to do it again.
Damn, that hurts... I'm getting disproportionately outraged every time I hear about people's work being destroyed by this shit that Microsoft is pushing these days. I mean, people say that Linux can be finicky - and it can - but how is Win10 better if it destroys your work casually, just like that?? Luckily I'm fairly advanced along the lines of removing the M$ crap from my life, already it stays as a secondary system for games only, and with the advancements that Steam is brewing it may become obsolete even there.

Now, there are programs that can scrub the drives for such files that have gone missing, so not all hope is lost. I can't recommend any particular one off the top of my head as I used such a thing only once and long ago, but I remember it worked. For starters, here's a list: https://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch000342.htm
It *might* have been Recuva that I used, but honestly I can't recall for sure.

Also, I wanted to say this in the hobbies thread, but this is as good place too: you seem like an interesting person to talk with, feel free to drop me a note any time you wish. Be it about file restoration, interests or anything.
 

Rayd

profound asshole
Damn, that hurts... I'm getting disproportionately outraged every time I hear about people's work being destroyed by this shit that Microsoft is pushing these days. I mean, people say that Linux can be finicky - and it can - but how is Win10 better if it destroys your work casually, just like that?? Luckily I'm fairly advanced along the lines of removing the M$ crap from my life, already it stays as a secondary system for games only, and with the advancements that Steam is brewing it may become obsolete even there.

Now, there are programs that can scrub the drives for such files that have gone missing, so not all hope is lost. I can't recommend any particular one off the top of my head as I used such a thing only once and long ago, but I remember it worked. For starters, here's a list: https://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch000342.htm
It *might* have been Recuva that I used, but honestly I can't recall for sure.

Also, I wanted to say this in the hobbies thread, but this is as good place too: you seem like an interesting person to talk with, feel free to drop me a note any time you wish. Be it about file restoration, interests or anything.
it's just particularly infuriating how blatant of a problem loss of progress due to automatic updates is, yet they still don't provide any kind of alternative aside from "just turn them off and wait until the artificially made bugs we create ourselves solely to annoy you that didn't exist before frustrate you enough to update windows yourself".

i've since found the lost content myself and was super relieved. especially after how i felt thinking it was gone forever. though i may wait awhile before posting it here as i was pretty emotional while typing it out, so it's pretty incoherent reading-wise.

thank you, though. i'm glad you think so. i'll think about it, though i've never been the best at initiation
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
I get that it's convenient for route optimization purposes to use fairly big windows when letting people book delivery. I don't have a problem with that; it's better for the environment and honestly also probably for the drivers. But for the love of all things small and fuzzy, would it fucking kill you to text me on the day of the delivery (when presumably the route optimization has already been worked out) to give me a slightly narrower window than the five hour one that was my option at booking?

Because needing to keep myself available from noon to 5 pm is distinctly unfun. Surely you can give me a 1-2 hour estimate within those 5 hours?

Urgh, privatized postal service. *eyeroll*
(In fairness this particular issue probably would exist regardless, or I'd just have to pick it up at the post office which I don't really mind but was trying to avoid, but they've made so many terrible changes in the last few years that I'm long since fed up with their profit-centric shenanigans and every little thing just ends up being really grating.)
 

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
Fucking bollocks.

My system threw a pissy fit, as my NVIDIA GeForce was updating as I was listening to videos on YouTube, as I was playing on my phone while it was updating, and my system didn't like it, it just suddenly shut off my monitor (onto standby mode), then it wouldn't accept any keyboard/mouse input, so had to force a restart.

Fuck you, Windows 10!

@Rimna

Nah, you're not dumb as fuck. Microsoft sure ARE! Bastards!
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Fucking bollocks.

My system threw a pissy fit, as my NVIDIA GeForce was updating as I was listening to videos on YouTube, as I was playing on my phone while it was updating, and my system didn't like it, it just suddenly shut off my monitor (onto standby mode), then it wouldn't accept any keyboard/mouse input, so had to force a restart.

Fuck you, Windows 10!

When you update your graphics card it even warns you that your monitor may go black for a bit. I think your hatred for windows is misplaced.
 

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
Not really, I've had 23 years of using Windows, always had shit with it, and I'm aware, but my system crashed. Even on the 18th of May it had a BSOD which I call bullshit, because one NEVER came up, I do wish they would get rid of that shitty :( face, it doesn't really help. The Windows XP-Vista BSOD made more sense.

Ain't here to start a shit storm as I respect people's opinions, but I know for the last 23 years I've had this "curse" with Windows, and Microsoft. I gone through 3 Xbox 360s, two failed due to the 3 RROD (It should of been four, hence the name....), my Elite even spat out a 1 RROD for no reason.

I'm just here to vent. I miss Windows 7... Barely any issues with it, at all.

I'd run Linux, but it doesn't like Windows-based games. Damn you, Linux!

Post Edit:

Oh for fuck's sake, lol. I swear the A.I. in games are getting shittier! The bots in both L4D games are as 'smart' as a bag of fucking hammers, (they just run into a Witch and die, on Expert, but kinda funny watching the corpse ragdoll), while I'm getting hammered by gunfire, (Unreal Tournament 3 Black Edition), and they just either suicide, or they suck. A.I. bots are clueless. Blind bastards, I'm right here!
 
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TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Not really, I've had 23 years of using Windows, always hate shit with it, and I'm aware, but my system crashed. Even on the 18th of May it had a BSOD which I call bullshit, because one NEVER came up, I do wish they would get rid of that shitty :( face, it doesn't really help. The Windows XP-Vista BSOD made more sense.

Ain't here to start a shit storm as I respect people's opinions, but I know for the last 23 years I've had this "curse" with Windows, and Microsoft. I gone through 3 Xbox 360s, two failed due to the 3 RROD (It should of been four, hence the name....), my Elite even spat out a 1 RROD for no reason.

I'm just here to vent. I miss Windows 7... Barely any issues with it, at all.

I'd run Linux, but it doesn't like Windows-based games. Damn you, Linux!

Post Edit:

Oh for fuck's sake, lol. I swear the A.I. in games are getting shittier! The bots in both L4D games are as 'smart' as a bag of fucking hammers, (they just run into a Witch and die, on Expert, but kinda funny watching the corpse ragdoll), while I'm getting hammered by gunfire, (Unreal Tournament 3 Black Edition), and they just either suicide, or they suck. A.I. bots are clueless. Blind bastards, I'm right here!

If you're still getting the :( of doom, I would recommend downloading Windows updates manually from their website. Most likely means something didn't update properly. If that doesn't help, consider looking into see if your computer parts aren't failing.

I bought a brand new desktop X amount of years ago, but the assholes selling it lied to me about the specifications I'd asked for. It could run games... for maybe an hour, before crashing.
 

JuniperW

Birb Fanatic
I never feel satisfied with my art. As soon as I find a style, mood or theme I like, I lose interest in it. I think that’s okay, because art’s not for everyone.

Despite all of this, my mother constantly tells me to pursue art as a career path, even when I’ve told her time and time again that I am primarily a writer and am not particularly confident in my artistic skills.

To be honest, I am beginning to find most creative communities extremely daunting. I don’t know where to offer commissions. The stories most people seem to look for on SoFurry and FurAffinity are…not my cup of tea. I’ve had to turn down at least four different requests because they made me uncomfortable in one way or another. I don’t think the furry community is the right place for me anymore. I haven’t made any friendships here. I don’t know how to get my writing ‘out there’, or how to find anyone who might be interested in it. I’m losing motivation every day.

I’m considering moving to FictionPress, Wattpad, AO3 or something like that. Pretty sure the latter does have a bunch of original fiction on it. I wouldn’t know how to advertise comms on any of those sites, though. Maybe I should just start a page on Fiverr. Who knows.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
I never feel satisfied with my art. As soon as I find a style, mood or theme I like, I lose interest in it. I think that’s okay, because art’s not for everyone.

Despite all of this, my mother constantly tells me to pursue art as a career path, even when I’ve told her time and time again that I am primarily a writer and am not particularly confident in my artistic skills.

To be honest, I am beginning to find most creative communities extremely daunting. I don’t know where to offer commissions. The stories most people seem to look for on SoFurry and FurAffinity are…not my cup of tea. I’ve had to turn down at least four different requests because they made me uncomfortable in one way or another. I don’t think the furry community is the right place for me anymore. I haven’t made any friendships here. I don’t know how to get my writing ‘out there’, or how to find anyone who might be interested in it. I’m losing motivation every day.

I’m considering moving to FictionPress, Wattpad, AO3 or something like that. Pretty sure the latter does have a bunch of original fiction on it. I wouldn’t know how to advertise comms on any of those sites, though. Maybe I should just start a page on Fiverr. Who knows.

Have you tried Creative Writing Forums ? It's not perfect, but it was one of the only um... 'active' writing/feedback places I could find. Every other group I found was either behind a paywall of some kind, or it was completely deserted.
 

Tennet_G

Cup O' Depresso
I have very little motivation to do anything besides the bare minimum and the only passion I seem to get from life is from love. I absolutely dislike my family and have no common ground with them besides blood. Friends feel admittedly like a waste of time because they don't make me feel special or give me anything I feel I want or need. Last time I was in a romantic relationship, I fell in deep and I started to do things like write or draw instead of just try to pass my time as quickly as possible playing videogames mindlessly to distract myself from the pain of existence. That's gone now. I fear that I will forever just be a leech who needs that special sort of love to sustain anything beyond the bare minimum. I really wish it was as simple as "Just do more" and I'll go ahead and do that.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
I have very little motivation to do anything besides the bare minimum and the only passion I seem to get from life is from love. I absolutely dislike my family and have no common ground with them besides blood. Friends feel admittedly like a waste of time because they don't make me feel special or give me anything I feel I want or need. Last time I was in a romantic relationship, I fell in deep and I started to do things like write or draw instead of just try to pass my time as quickly as possible playing videogames mindlessly to distract myself from the pain of existence. That's gone now. I fear that I will forever just be a leech who needs that special sort of love to sustain anything beyond the bare minimum. I really wish it was as simple as "Just do more" and I'll go ahead and do that.

Practice with self-discipline.

You are lacking in affections yes, and those concerns are more than likely valid, but you need to realize that clinging is the very thing that can push people away. You can't put the responsibility of 'fixing you' on someone else. You need to do that on your own, and while having things to keep you busy can certainly help, it's not the only solution.

Maybe do some self-exploration? Instead of buying games, pay to experience some kind of new activity or hobby that at least mixes up the routine a bit. Or take up reading some self-help/(healthy) relationship building books?

If you really lack the will to do anything else and step out into the unknown, invest in some therapy for anxiety?
 

Tennet_G

Cup O' Depresso
Practice with self-discipline.

You are lacking in affections yes, and those concerns are more than likely valid, but you need to realize that clinging is the very thing that can push people away. You can't put the responsibility of 'fixing you' on someone else. You need to do that on your own, and while having things to keep you busy can certainly help, it's not the only solution.

Maybe do some self-exploration? Instead of buying games, pay to experience some kind of new activity or hobby that at least mixes up the routine a bit. Or take up reading some self-help/(healthy) relationship building books?

If you really lack the will to do anything else and step out into the unknown, invest in some therapy for anxiety?
Already started therapy very recently. I've done my self exploration with many different hobbies and sports. None seemed to have clicked or stayed with me.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Already started therapy very recently. I've done my self exploration with many different hobbies and sports. None seemed to have clicked or stayed with me.

Hobbies can be kind of expensive to be exploring too, but I hope you can at least find different opportunities/new insight through therapy!
 

Tennet_G

Cup O' Depresso
Hobbies can be kind of expensive to be exploring too, but I hope you can at least find different opportunities/new insight through therapy!
Hopefully. It is still a recent thing and I'm still adjusting to it. And I don't think throwing money at hobbies can do much after trying that a few times.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
Friends feel admittedly like a waste of time because they don't make me feel special or give me anything I feel I want or need. Last time I was in a romantic relationship, I fell in deep and I started to do things like write or draw instead of just try to pass my time as quickly as possible playing videogames mindlessly to distract myself from the pain of existence. That's gone now.
Others have already covered therapy, so I’ll not harp on that point. Something to explore, either on your own or with your therapist, might be what it is that you feel a want/need for that you can’t get out of friendship, and why that is? I’m not phrasing that very well, I’m afraid, and part of that might be that I’m having trouble putting myself in your shoes in that regard, because I have relatively few friends but value them highl

I know the playing video games to pass time or distract myself all too well, though. In my case, it’s depression that makes arting seem daunting and keeps me from even trying to start. I still play with stories/narratives/worldbuilding in my head, but rarely actually write/type the words out, because words are hard and as long as the story’s just in my head my brain kinda handwaves whatever words I’m currently missing. Do you still have any urge to create, or is that well completely dry? If you want to and just have trouble finding the motivation, it’s worth looking at games that incorporate creativity in some manner.

Also worth considering is what video games give you that friends don’t. You play games to make time pass. What prevents friends from being another way to distract yourself? Is it the dopamine hits from achieving things in the game? Maybe see if you can make friends to play with? Ultimately we are social animals, and most of us, even extreme introverts, will in the long term suffer if we get too little human contact. In what form we need it can differ greatly, however.

Love is great, and valuable, but remember that love without friendship stands on a very flimsy foundation. So I’d advise trying to find how friendship can feel meaningful to you. (I literally see my BFF like... maybe every few months, if that, pre-pandemic. I still adore her and enjoy spending hours with her when we do see each other. Not all friendships need to be a daily interaction thing, though it’s probably hard to start one up with the kind of sporadic contact BFF and I have.)
 
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