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Vent Thread

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
If you're still getting the :( of doom, I would recommend downloading Windows updates manually from their website. Most likely means something didn't update properly. If that doesn't help, consider looking into see if your computer parts aren't failing.

I bought a brand new desktop X amount of years ago, but the assholes selling it lied to me about the specifications I'd asked for. It could run games... for maybe an hour, before crashing.

It's not happening as much, but I know half of my OS is corrupted, as certain things don't work, like I try and run personalisation, doesn't work and other shit doesn't. I've tried, I always get an error. Last time I had my OS update, they bricked my MBR to where I had to wait for a system restore to go back days before the patch dropped.
 

Tennet_G

Cup O' Depresso
Others have already covered therapy, so I’ll not harp on that point. Something to explore, either on your own or with your therapist, might be what it is that you feel a want/need for that you can’t get out of friendship, and why that is? I’m not phrasing that very well, I’m afraid, and part of that might be that I’m having trouble putting myself in your shoes in that regard, because I have relatively few friends but value them highly.

I know the playing video games to pass time or distract myself all too well, though. In my case, it’s depression that makes arting seem daunting and keeps me from even trying to start. I still play with stories/narratives/worldbuilding in my head, but rarely actually write/type the words out, because words are hard and as long as the story’s just in my head my brain kinda handwaves whatever words I’m currently missing. Do you still have any urge to create, or is that well completely dry? If you want to and just have trouble finding the motivation, it’s worth looking at games that incorporate creativity in some manner.

Also worth considering is what video games give you that friends don’t. You play games to make time pass. What prevents friends from being another way to distract yourself? Is it the dopamine hits from achieving things in the game? Maybe see if you can make friends to play with? Ultimately we are social animals, and most of us, even extreme introverts, will in the long term suffer if we get too little human contact. In what form we need it can differ greatly, however.

Love is great, and valuable, but remember that love without friendship stands on a very flimsy foundation. So I’d advise trying to find how friendship can feel meaningful to you. (I literally see my BFF like... maybe every few months, if that, pre-pandemic. I still adore her and enjoy spending hours with her when we do see each other. Not all friendships need to be a daily interaction thing, though it’s probably hard to start one up with the kind of sporadic contact BFF and I have.)
I think the main issue is feelings. I don't understand them fully. Why do I feel like I want/need this but absolutely hate that? I know exactly why I act the way I do and it's just usually a reaction to the things I feel. I just don't understand the root of the issue.

My urge to do anything beyond just the bare minimum to stay alive is just gone. All I do is eat, sleep, work, and pass the time as quickly as possible. I don't know what the endgoal for me is in this case. I perhaps just don't want to think about it and hope it just sorta works itself out.

I tend to dislike friends but I have been told I need to make some. It's not that people are bad, it's just that any time spent with them, I feel like it doesn't make sense. I avoid them at this point because it feels like a drag, and it makes me feel like the days are longer than they need to be. They don't make me feel good, just like games. The main difference is, I can turn off my brain and mindlessly do the same tasks over and over in a videogame to make time go by quicker. Where with friends, I have to put in time and effort into someone. Someone which I know will never develop into anything more and that feels like a waste of time.

I don't know how to find meaning in a friendship. I actually find no meaning in my videogames too. And I certainly find no meaning in my life honestly. It just ties back to my feelings. I don't understand why it acts in such a way. I don't understand why it reacts the ways it does. All I know is that the only time it's been positive historically is when I'm in some kind of romantic relationship. I have no idea why. I wish that wasn't the only case I feel happy in my life.

TL;DR. I don't understand my feelings. But yet, I am a slave to them. I act in accordance with it to the best of my understanding of myself. And I don't like it, noor do I like how overly reliant I am on romance to sustain any kind of happiness. (I am going to therapy about this.)
 
M

ManicTherapsid

Guest
Why do they have to put LEDs in everything? Everything doesnt need a light on it to look pretty!

1. It's a waste of energy.
2. They emmit radio interference at certain frequencies.
3. I hate bright things and they annoy the hell out of me.
 
I think the main issue is feelings. I don't understand them fully. Why do I feel like I want/need this but absolutely hate that? I know exactly why I act the way I do and it's just usually a reaction to the things I feel. I just don't understand the root of the issue.

My urge to do anything beyond just the bare minimum to stay alive is just gone. All I do is eat, sleep, work, and pass the time as quickly as possible. I don't know what the endgoal for me is in this case. I perhaps just don't want to think about it and hope it just sorta works itself out.

I tend to dislike friends but I have been told I need to make some. It's not that people are bad, it's just that any time spent with them, I feel like it doesn't make sense. I avoid them at this point because it feels like a drag, and it makes me feel like the days are longer than they need to be. They don't make me feel good, just like games. The main difference is, I can turn off my brain and mindlessly do the same tasks over and over in a videogame to make time go by quicker. Where with friends, I have to put in time and effort into someone. Someone which I know will never develop into anything more and that feels like a waste of time.

I don't know how to find meaning in a friendship. I actually find no meaning in my videogames too. And I certainly find no meaning in my life honestly. It just ties back to my feelings. I don't understand why it acts in such a way. I don't understand why it reacts the ways it does. All I know is that the only time it's been positive historically is when I'm in some kind of romantic relationship. I have no idea why. I wish that wasn't the only case I feel happy in my life.

TL;DR. I don't understand my feelings. But yet, I am a slave to them. I act in accordance with it to the best of my understanding of myself. And I don't like it, noor do I like how overly reliant I am on romance to sustain any kind of happiness. (I am going to therapy about this.)
I don't know you and I have no idea how literal this self-description is, but it sounds like classic
high-functioning autism mixed in with significant depression.
If these are your true feelings, then you need some serious help now.
This is only going to get worse with time.
Online interactions are a very poor substitute for the real thing.
 

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
XD My motherboard glows, which I find a pain mostly when I want to sleep, sometimes my system will get stuck when shutting down.

I love how Windows doesn't know what caused a hang with Explorer.EXE lmao.

Does this make any sense, or am I guessing that I was right, about my system crashing when GeForce was updating:

"The computer has rebooted from a bugcheck. The bugcheck was: 0x0000003b (0x00000000c0000005, 0xfffff8024ccb4e80, 0xffff8c08eedfd740, 0x0000000000000000). A dump was saved in: C:\WINDOWS\MEMORY.DMP. Report Id: 00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000."

In other words, it was a grease fucking lightning quick BSOD I didn't see.
 
Damn, that hurts... I'm getting disproportionately outraged every time I hear about people's work being destroyed by this shit that Microsoft is pushing these days. I mean, people say that Linux can be finicky - and it can - but how is Win10 better if it destroys your work casually, just like that?? Luckily I'm fairly advanced along the lines of removing the M$ crap from my life, already it stays as a secondary system for games only, and with the advancements that Steam is brewing it may become obsolete even there.

Now, there are programs that can scrub the drives for such files that have gone missing, so not all hope is lost. I can't recommend any particular one off the top of my head as I used such a thing only once and long ago, but I remember it worked. For starters, here's a list: https://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch000342.htm
It *might* have been Recuva that I used, but honestly I can't recall for sure.

Also, I wanted to say this in the hobbies thread, but this is as good place too: you seem like an interesting person to talk with, feel free to drop me a note any time you wish. Be it about file restoration, interests or anything.
Have long used all three big Operating systems. Windows, Mac, Linux distos ( compatibility reasons, game/music development, work )
The most Stable desktop OS releases have come from Apple.
The best overall OS for serious workstation desktop use in almost every area is Windows.
There are some useful command-line linux only tools ( GNU and non-GNU ) but it makes for a horrid desktop OS.

Windows 10 deleting your work during an update? forced updates in windows 10?
are we talking about the same operating system here lol.
 

Pomorek

Antelope-Addicted Hyena
XD My motherboard glows, which I find a pain mostly when I want to sleep, sometimes my system will get stuck when shutting down.

I love how Windows doesn't know what caused a hang with Explorer.EXE lmao.

Does this make any sense, or am I guessing that I was right, about my system crashing when GeForce was updating:

"The computer has rebooted from a bugcheck. The bugcheck was: 0x0000003b (0x00000000c0000005, 0xfffff8024ccb4e80, 0xffff8c08eedfd740, 0x0000000000000000). A dump was saved in: C:\WINDOWS\MEMORY.DMP. Report Id: 00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000."

In other words, it was a grease fucking lightning quick BSOD I didn't see.
Uhh... It's very hard to diagnose such things just by description, but it sounds like a total system reinstall, from scratch, would be recommended. Also the frequency of BSODs is suspicious, it really might be a hardware component failing. Aside from that, if Win10 really doesn't work for you at all even after reinstalling - how about trying to get Win 7 (or 8 if your computer is too new for 7) and installing it alongside Win10, to see if it works better? Yes I know, Win7 is outdated and unsupported and 8 is quirky, but if 10 just fails to work properly, maybe it's worth experimenting a little.
 
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I Don't even want to know what hardware configuration, cracked program/game trojan crypto-miners, or registry settings are causing the issue.
Dude, just back up your data at least three times on external hard drives ( they are pretty cheap ) and have a pristine clean image of microsoft in case
a reinstall is needed. You can use windows 10 indefinitely unregistered. For the older versions you will need a disk ( yes, cracked versions exist online if you like having problems to fix ). A brand new backup laptop is a must.
 

Tennet_G

Cup O' Depresso
I don't know you and I have no idea how literal this self-description is, but it sounds like classic
high-functioning autism mixed in with significant depression.
If these are your true feelings, then you need some serious help now.
This is only going to get worse with time.
Online interactions are a very poor substitute for the real thing.
You somehow hit the nail on the head with the diagnosis. Wow. And I did say I am getting therapy for help. It's still a fairly recent thing because I can afford it now.
 
Good to hear. Wish you the best. Have worked with autistic kids and adults in a previous job as a full time carer.
Eventually one gets a second-sense feel for the kind of things people with different conditions say or do.
Have a nice day sir!
 

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
Uhh... It's very hard to diagnose such things just by description, but it sounds like a total system reinstall, from scratch, would be recommended. Also the frequency of BSODs is suspicious, it really might be a hardware component failing. Aside from that, if Win10 really doesn't work for you at all even after reinstalling - how about trying to get Win 7 (or 8 if your computer is too new for 7) and installing it alongside Win10, to see if it works better? Yes I know, Win7 is outdated and unsupported and 8 is quirky, but if 10 just fails to work properly, maybe it's worth experimenting a little.
Ugh, I've tried 8 and 8.1 and they were shit. My old Dell laptop is Windows 7, but the CMOS is dying, and it wouldn't handle 90% of my games as a lot of them are quite demanding. I have a custom made rig, and truthfully, I fucking hate it. I don't know shit about building computers, but I wish I did. I can't because of my autism, and the fact I cannot understand numerics (money, time, maths, etc, as I suffered brain damage at birth), so I can't build one myself as much I'd LOVE to.

I do own 2 gaming laptops, one is MSI Gaming G Force and one's called ZooStorm, but both are kept away in case my main PC here dies, or suffers a major clusterfuck. Considering MicroFucks discontinued support for Windows 7, it would be a fucking clusterfuck, mostly with how the lack of support. They should of just stayed with Windows 7 because they barely went wrong with it, unlike 8/8.1 which is more an iPhone-type OS to me, rather than a actual OS.

Until this virus fucks off, and I can get money in, I can't do much but hope the piece of shit doesn't die on me, without backing up a lot of my shit, worst of my data is Guild Wars 1 and 2 because the .dat file they have, and my Minecraft stuff. Haven't given my PC the "Hammer Treatment" yet, that's on hold until it REALLY does need a good ol' bashing.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
I saw someone with a really cool artstyle AND THEY DRAW FUCKING CUB ART EW WHY
You realize cub accounts for baby Animal right? Do you not like baby animals?

I mean, it's okay if you don't. But it's be surprising given the furry fandom is about animals in the first place. XD

Puppies and kittens are adorable. Maybe not on some other art styles but definitely the real thing. UuU
 

Attaman

"I say we forget this business and run."
You realize cub accounts for baby Animal right? Do you not like baby animals?
I'm going to presume this is a joke-post and not, uh...

Not what it comes off a lot like.
 

Attaman

"I say we forget this business and run."
???
Are you assuming cub art and cub porn art are the same thing? I'm confused.
Usually, when somebody goes "Oh gods cub art, bleach bleach!", they have a very specific meaning. And said meaning is not "Oh, like kittens playing with a ball of yarn?" There is often spherical objects involved, but of a less workplace (and sanity) appropriate nature.

Also I am 110% on-board with people presuming the worst by default on the subject matter as, well, the potential to be disappointed if you're wrong in assuming the worst is infinitesimally smaller than if you assume the best and are wrong. In the first case you're missing out on "Hang In There" poster material. In the worst case... I'm not saying your hard drive / browsing history definitely is evidence that can be used against you in court, but I'm not saying it can't or won't be either.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Usually, when somebody goes "Oh gods cub art, bleach bleach!", they have a very specific meaning. And said meaning is not "Oh, like kittens playing with a ball of yarn?" There is often spherical objects involved, but of a less workplace (and sanity) appropriate nature.

Also I am 110% on-board with people presuming the worst by default on the subject matter as, well, the potential to be disappointed if you're wrong in assuming the worst is infinitesimally smaller than if you assume the best and are wrong. In the first case you're missing out on "Hang In There" poster material. In the worst case... I'm not saying your hard drive / browsing history definitely is evidence that can be used against you in court, but I'm not saying it can't or won't be either.

Well it sucks that no one can seem to remember anything about me cause if you did you'd know I wasn't supporting child pornography OR cub pornography. :/

Sometimes it's better to ask for context instead of jumping to conclusions.
 

Attaman

"I say we forget this business and run."
Well it sucks that no one can seem to remember anything about me
My point wasn't accusatory, it was that responding to a user coming in here going "My eyes!" with "What's wrong with cub?" is hopefully a joke. As otherwise it comes off a little flippant at best, and at worst a "Live and let live" for a subject matter that many people feel rather strongly about.

Now, to be fair, me responding in this way without knowing the artist in question also makes me come off a bit flippant / knee-jerk, but see above clarification of "I'm fine with presuming the worst when hearing in a vacuum '[x] posts cub' as it's done a lot for my mind and web cache".
 

JacobFloofWoof

Metal Misanthrope
I find it so much easier nowadays to practically tell people who tell me how I should think and what to say to fuck off rather than trying to make justifications just to protect myself and my character. You'll never be happy constantly pleasing the demands of others, who are usually terrible controlling and assumptive people that probably don't give a fuck about you in the first place. I'm happier in one aspect, knowing I'm a human being, and that nobody can really change me, no matter how fucked up and collective-thinking this world gets, and I wish I knew this so many years ago instead of trying to keep shitty friendships, or look good for others.
 

Pomorek

Antelope-Addicted Hyena
Ugh, I've tried 8 and 8.1 and they were shit. My old Dell laptop is Windows 7, but the CMOS is dying, and it wouldn't handle 90% of my games as a lot of them are quite demanding. I have a custom made rig, and truthfully, I fucking hate it. I don't know shit about building computers, but I wish I did. I can't because of my autism, and the fact I cannot understand numerics (money, time, maths, etc, as I suffered brain damage at birth), so I can't build one myself as much I'd LOVE to.

I do own 2 gaming laptops, one is MSI Gaming G Force and one's called ZooStorm, but both are kept away in case my main PC here dies, or suffers a major clusterfuck. Considering MicroFucks discontinued support for Windows 7, it would be a fucking clusterfuck, mostly with how the lack of support. They should of just stayed with Windows 7 because they barely went wrong with it, unlike 8/8.1 which is more an iPhone-type OS to me, rather than a actual OS.

Until this virus fucks off, and I can get money in, I can't do much but hope the piece of shit doesn't die on me, without backing up a lot of my shit, worst of my data is Guild Wars 1 and 2 because the .dat file they have, and my Minecraft stuff. Haven't given my PC the "Hammer Treatment" yet, that's on hold until it REALLY does need a good ol' bashing.
Alright, then it's most likely a hardware problem there, not the fault of Windows itself. Totally make sure to backup the stuff (and do it repeatedly from time to time), there are many ways. The best is to get an external drive, they're not too expensive and give a lot of "bang for the buck" when it comes to the capacity. If that's not a option, pendrives are big enough nowadays for a limited backup. Also online solutions are free, Google Drive, Dropbox, things like that.

Next time when you're getting a new rig, totally try to get someone really knowledgeable to help you. The numerics can be tricky and overwhelming for someone inexperienced, regardless if with autism or not.
 

Khione Frostfang

Moody Leopardess - Approach with caution!
Believe me, I cant do a damn thing with numbers, at all. It's just alien to me.

I do wish the British weather would make up it's damn mind. First it was humid, now it's cloudy... Damn the summer time.
 
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