The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Well... My dad is divorcing... Again.
I live with my father and he's been on a relation with my now future ex-stepmom for like 9 years. I've never get along with her, but we learned to tolerate ourselves with the years. She always had the last word and all of his problems were worse than whatever I had to say, I really hated her sometimes.
This Thursday early (6-7AM), I was waken up by a very heated up argument downstairs. Didn't listen to what they were saying, but that morning I asked my dad "what happened?" at which he answered me "just clarifying things". The next days, they were calling lawyers and getting ready for the divorce, and I don't even know why!
To be fair, I hoped for their rupture in the past... But with their real rupture on the horizon, suddenly there will be a lot of people that I will never see again... All my stepbrothers and their relates will be out of my life forever and that just makes me really sad. I know I could still maintain contact with them, but I'm too different from them and I know for a fact that with time, even if I try to be in contact (and knowing the way I am), our relation will just fade...
And then, there is my dad. My dad is a "I don't have feelings" kind of boomer. But I know he have them. When I saw him around the house these days, he acts like if nothing is happening, but lately I barely see him on the house, he just eats and goes to work/bed. I can tell he's not having a good time with all of this and I cannot imagine what made him take this decision.
I was a bit "I don't careish", but I feel like it's really affecting me. I'm having real nightmares, I think slower than usual, I almost don't go out of my room and I have a sensation of sadness over my shoulders all the time... And I can't do anything about it! I'm nobody to speak over who my father should love, and I will respect always his choose.
And lastly, suddenly we will turn from a picturesque alternative family (with my stepbrother and stepsister living here) to an empty big house for just me and my father. I feel bad for feeling like this is bad, but I'm a bit scared of that future scenario. I love my dad and I don't want him to feel bad or heartbroken, but I'm very worried of what he can turn into within some months single... His character will change for sure and I fear it changes for worse.
Anyway, I just needed to throw up this out of my head.
Things might seem rough right now but that doesn't mean it will always be like this.
Emptying a house also means there will be opportunities to fill it again.
I know it's not fair to ask of you when the moment is still fresh, but try to be strong. I'm not saying you need to be a therapist to your dad, or bend over backwards for him, but try to show subtle ways to say 'I'm still here and I care about you' that doesn't directly tread onto his 'emotionless boomerisms'. Like prepping his morning beverage or something like that, surprising him, small stuff like that. I'm mostly saying this not to dismiss your own wants/needs but because there's a good chance this stubborn man is gonna need it, and this is assuming you're on good/desirable terms with him. If not, and he is despicable, then of course just ignore what I said.
If you ever wanna vent to someone about a dysfunctional family/divorce, I don't mind reading!