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Vent Thread

Bigjackaal48

Active Member
I love how the only reason I used Hydrogenaudio was to get answers why AAC/Vorbis artifacted on music that 192 ~ 320kbps MP3 was artifact free on?. All I got was psychotic replies just lashing out at me having no clue what blind test was & then banning me after I picked Musepack/MP3 over AAC/Vorbis?.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
@TyraWadman @Mambi @Minerva_Minx Thank you <3
I was still a bit freaked out when I woke up in the morning, but it's the kind of thing that'll pass. I think the exact nature of the bad parts of the dreams just... interacted a bit badly with past trauma, and made everything worse. Still think the dream-generating parts of my brain can go fuck themselves, tho, because NOPE.
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
I've been going through a time recently, College has been rough, im falling behind and anxious about everything, talking to people, failing, ending up a misery to my parents, family, the world. Relationships, keeping them up, trying to navigate the world is hard. At one point I thought it was too much for me. I was going to end my life. I felt so worthless and just unworthy of being here on this earth, given the things i've been given. For many of you this thought would be unthinkable for me, I seem so happy all the time. I dont say that to bring y'all down but... life is hard for every single one of us, even those who have it set have problems. At every single person you come across from now on reading this, dont see them for their faults, for their mistakes or the problems they cause you. Look at them for what they can be, who they have become from where they started. Look at people and see a lovely unique person who has room to grow. Has a family, friends, people who care about them. Surround yourself with people, people you can look at and be proud of knowing, be proud of calling your friends, your spouse, your children. The people in this world are all suffering, its up to use to ease that suffering in whatever way we can.

Be kind, show this cold, cold world we have so much warmth to give.

I would like to think this is the message that I have given through my time on the forums. Through my bout of sadness I've had much reflection, and I am proud of where I have come from, the kid in school too afraid to talk with people so I just lashed out, hardly even smart enough to pass to the next grade, to a person that can love and care for people, despite who they feel they are. To help them realize they can be amazing.
For those who are going through a similar thing, its okay to be sad, to feel like you are nothing you're not alone. If nobody else is there, I am with you, those feelings of coldness, of not being enough. YOU are worth it 100%, and if nobody else is there to say it for you I will, YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE TREASURED.
 
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ben909

vaporeon
I've been going through a time recently, College has been rough, im falling behind and anxious about everything, talking to people, failing, ending up a misery to my parents, family, the world. Relationships, keeping them up, trying to navigate the world is hard. At one point I thought it was too much for me. I was going to end my life. I felt so worthless and just unworthy of being here on this earth, given the things i've been given. For many of you this thought would be unthinkable for me, I seem so happy all the time. I dont say that to bring y'all down but... life is hard for every single one of us, even those who have it set have problems. At every single person you come across from now on reading this, dont see them for their faults, for their mistakes or the problems they cause you. Look at them for what they can be, who they have become from where they started. Look at people and see a lovely unique person who has room to grow. Has a family, friends, people who care about them. Surround yourself with people, people you can look at and be proud of knowing, be proud of calling your friends, your spouse, your children. The people in this world are all suffering, its up to use to ease that suffering in whatever way we can.

Be kind, show this cold, cold world we have so much warmth to give.

I would like to think this is the message that I have given through my time on the forums, and through my bout of sadness I've had much reflection, and I am proud of where I have come from, the kid in school too afraid to talk with people so I just lashed out, hardly even smart enough to pass to the next grade, to a person that can love and care for people, despite who they feel they are. To help them realize they can be amazing.
For those who are going through a similar thing, its okay to be sad, to feel like you are nothing you're not alone. If nobody else is there, I am with you, those feelings of coldness, of not being enough. YOU are worth it 100%, and if nobody else is there to say it for you I will, YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE TREASURED.
know the feeling of being overwhelmed but not i feel like i missed something seeing this comment
 

KimberVaile

Officially elected and actual ruler of FAF
I've been going through a time recently, College has been rough, im falling behind and anxious about everything, talking to people, failing, ending up a misery to my parents, family, the world. Relationships, keeping them up, trying to navigate the world is hard. At one point I thought it was too much for me. I was going to end my life. I felt so worthless and just unworthy of being here on this earth, given the things i've been given. For many of you this thought would be unthinkable for me, I seem so happy all the time. I dont say that to bring y'all down but... life is hard for every single one of us, even those who have it set have problems. At every single person you come across from now on reading this, dont see them for their faults, for their mistakes or the problems they cause you. Look at them for what they can be, who they have become from where they started. Look at people and see a lovely unique person who has room to grow. Has a family, friends, people who care about them. Surround yourself with people, people you can look at and be proud of knowing, be proud of calling your friends, your spouse, your children. The people in this world are all suffering, its up to use to ease that suffering in whatever way we can.

Be kind, show this cold, cold world we have so much warmth to give.

I would like to think this is the message that I have given through my time on the forums. Through my bout of sadness I've had much reflection, and I am proud of where I have come from, the kid in school too afraid to talk with people so I just lashed out, hardly even smart enough to pass to the next grade, to a person that can love and care for people, despite who they feel they are. To help them realize they can be amazing.
For those who are going through a similar thing, its okay to be sad, to feel like you are nothing you're not alone. If nobody else is there, I am with you, those feelings of coldness, of not being enough. YOU are worth it 100%, and if nobody else is there to say it for you I will, YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE TREASURED.
It's a tough time, but you'll get through it Ssaannttoo. College is alot about willpower as well as some intelligence and I think you have both. I have faith you'll find a way through. If a complete dunce like me got through it, I think you will too. Always there to encourage and support ya, cause you're a nice guy, and you deserve to achieve what ya set out towards. We're out there rooting for you!
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
It's a tough time, but you'll get through it Ssaannttoo. College is alot about willpower as well as some intelligence and I think you have both. I have faith you'll find a way through. If a complete dunce like me got through it, I think you will too. Always there to encourage and support ya, cause you're a nice guy, and you deserve to achieve what ya set out towards. We're out there rooting for you!
You're an amazing dude Kimber. Im glad I've had the honor of meeting somebody *almost* as gay as me *Hugs ya tightly*
 

JacobFloofWoof

Metal Misanthrope
I honestly feel like a lot of friendships in the past were based off of control. If people couldn't control me or "keep me in check" in any way they wanted to after I showed them a long period of reticence, whether it's because of my beliefs, personality/attitude, or not being a yesman to them 24/7, they started to distance themselves and make it vague at first yet quite clear of how they've felt. I also felt this need to act a certain way by restraining myself just so I wouldn't lose who I thought were my friends as I grew up introverted all my life before I learned as time went on, that this is not what I wanted to be to others, or how I began perceiving "being loved and genuinely wanted", but you can only keep things bottled in for so long, before you feel the urge to speak your mind, and so when I did, I guess it was clear, that people like me better when I'm reserved. However, I didn't like that compromise, so I became more outward, and blunt, and now I talk to fewer people, but at least I don't tolerate people trying to control me anymore, while bringing me little benefit on their part whatsoever.

The way I am now is also largely due to growing up in a very controlling family, where if I didn't do what others wanted, even if it wasn't justified or made any sense, and crossed that "thin line" so to speak, I would get very negative reactions and pay consequences that others did not have to deal with because of favoritism, or because I am the youngest, and they saw me as weak and malleable, or something.

Now I am so outspoken, and literally have gotten to a point where if people have wronged me or treated me unjustifiably, I'd get angry to the point of cussing and breaking stuff, and feeling this awful anger come over me to make sure I make my point clear, not caring who I affect around me at that very moment. I'm still quite introverted, but now it feels more like a resentment towards others, even not wanting to look into anyone's faces anymore, and not wanting to make the effort to achieve any sort of companionship, not after the years of being disowned by family members, and like my whole child/teenhood of being complient to those who made me feel like I was walking on thin ice. Nobody's family should threaten to disown or give harsh reactions to their relatives for the dumbest reasons, like simply being an easy target for being the youngest, and the fake people who gave me a shoulder to lean on for 5 minutes before I was replaceable to them after they couldn't control me anymore, or because I no longer met their expectations of a "good enough" human being. I wish they were honest enough to say it to my face. lol. I think people owe a small amount of honesty to other people, because it goes a long way and settles things a lot easier than leading people on without clarity for a long period, like those you know since you were born to tell you have they really felt, instead of holding a lifelong grudge.
 

Punji

Vaskebjørn
I've been going through a time recently, College has been rough, im falling behind and anxious about everything, talking to people, failing, ending up a misery to my parents, family, the world. Relationships, keeping them up, trying to navigate the world is hard. At one point I thought it was too much for me. I was going to end my life. I felt so worthless and just unworthy of being here on this earth, given the things i've been given. For many of you this thought would be unthinkable for me, I seem so happy all the time. I dont say that to bring y'all down but... life is hard for every single one of us, even those who have it set have problems. At every single person you come across from now on reading this, dont see them for their faults, for their mistakes or the problems they cause you. Look at them for what they can be, who they have become from where they started. Look at people and see a lovely unique person who has room to grow. Has a family, friends, people who care about them. Surround yourself with people, people you can look at and be proud of knowing, be proud of calling your friends, your spouse, your children. The people in this world are all suffering, its up to use to ease that suffering in whatever way we can.

Be kind, show this cold, cold world we have so much warmth to give.

I would like to think this is the message that I have given through my time on the forums. Through my bout of sadness I've had much reflection, and I am proud of where I have come from, the kid in school too afraid to talk with people so I just lashed out, hardly even smart enough to pass to the next grade, to a person that can love and care for people, despite who they feel they are. To help them realize they can be amazing.
For those who are going through a similar thing, its okay to be sad, to feel like you are nothing you're not alone. If nobody else is there, I am with you, those feelings of coldness, of not being enough. YOU are worth it 100%, and if nobody else is there to say it for you I will, YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE TREASURED.
College is a stressful time full of work and strain. Any failures or difficulties are not indicative of your worth or value as a person. Stress and difficulty today does not mean you've failed or that your life can't or won't be good. It's an uphill climb but you can handle this Santo!

We've got your back buddy, we're all rootin' for ya'!

You're an amazing dude Kimber. Im glad I've had the honor of meeting somebody *almost* as gay as me *Hugs ya tightly*
You're right about one thing, Kimber is an amazing fox. But like Hell is anyone gayer than he is. :p

Ayanaki -- Kimber Hug.png


Love ya' my dear sweet foxy! <3 <3
 

Minerva_Minx

Sheogorath is my co-pilot
I honestly feel like a lot of friendships in the past were based off of control. If people couldn't control me or "keep me in check" in any way they wanted to after I showed them a long period of reticence, whether it's because of my beliefs, personality/attitude, or not being a yesman to them 24/7, they started to distance themselves and make it vague at first yet quite clear of how they've felt. I also felt this need to act a certain way by restraining myself just so I wouldn't lose who I thought were my friends as I grew up introverted all my life before I learned as time went on, that this is not what I wanted to be to others, or how I began perceiving "being loved and genuinely wanted", but you can only keep things bottled in for so long, before you feel the urge to speak your mind, and so when I did, I guess it was clear, that people like me better when I'm reserved. However, I didn't like that compromise, so I became more outward, and blunt, and now I talk to fewer people, but at least I don't tolerate people trying to control me anymore, while bringing me little benefit on their part whatsoever.

The way I am now is also largely due to growing up in a very controlling family, where if I didn't do what others wanted, even if it wasn't justified or made any sense, and crossed that "thin line" so to speak, I would get very negative reactions and pay consequences that others did not have to deal with because of favoritism, or because I am the youngest, and they saw me as weak and malleable, or something.

Now I am so outspoken, and literally have gotten to a point where if people have wronged me or treated me unjustifiably, I'd get angry to the point of cussing and breaking stuff, and feeling this awful anger come over me to make sure I make my point clear, not caring who I affect around me at that very moment. I'm still quite introverted, but now it feels more like a resentment towards others, even not wanting to look into anyone's faces anymore, and not wanting to make the effort to achieve any sort of companionship, not after the years of being disowned by family members, and like my whole child/teenhood of being complient to those who made me feel like I was walking on thin ice. Nobody's family should threaten to disown or give harsh reactions to their relatives for the dumbest reasons, like simply being an easy target for being the youngest, and the fake people who gave me a shoulder to lean on for 5 minutes before I was replaceable to them after they couldn't control me anymore, or because I no longer met their expectations of a "good enough" human being. I wish they were honest enough to say it to my face. lol. I think people owe a small amount of honesty to other people, because it goes a long way and settles things a lot easier than leading people on without clarity for a long period, like those you know since you were born to tell you have they really felt, instead of holding a lifelong grudge.
Story of my life. I have maybe 5-6 really close friends and then friends of relationship, like work friends, hiking friends, workout friends. It is a much easier and happier life for me now because I don't have to figure out the introvert to extrovert equation and know the people I am with like me for who I am, not just what I bring to the table.

@TyraWadman @Mambi @Minerva_Minx Thank you <3
I was still a bit freaked out when I woke up in the morning, but it's the kind of thing that'll pass. I think the exact nature of the bad parts of the dreams just... interacted a bit badly with past trauma, and made everything worse. Still think the dream-generating parts of my brain can go fuck themselves, tho, because NOPE.
You're right about one thing, Kimber is an amazing fox. But like Hell is anyone gayer than he is. :p
So, the solution, courtesy of @KimberVaile, is girl bonding in a nigntmare!

Let's do this. Leeroy Jenkins!
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
I honestly feel like a lot of friendships in the past were based off of control. If people couldn't control me or "keep me in check" in any way they wanted to after I showed them a long period of reticence, whether it's because of my beliefs, personality/attitude, or not being a yesman to them 24/7, they started to distance themselves and make it vague at first yet quite clear of how they've felt. I also felt this need to act a certain way by restraining myself just so I wouldn't lose who I thought were my friends as I grew up introverted all my life before I learned as time went on, that this is not what I wanted to be to others, or how I began perceiving "being loved and genuinely wanted", but you can only keep things bottled in for so long, before you feel the urge to speak your mind, and so when I did, I guess it was clear, that people like me better when I'm reserved. However, I didn't like that compromise, so I became more outward, and blunt, and now I talk to fewer people, but at least I don't tolerate people trying to control me anymore, while bringing me little benefit on their part whatsoever.

The way I am now is also largely due to growing up in a very controlling family, where if I didn't do what others wanted, even if it wasn't justified or made any sense, and crossed that "thin line" so to speak, I would get very negative reactions and pay consequences that others did not have to deal with because of favoritism, or because I am the youngest, and they saw me as weak and malleable, or something.

Now I am so outspoken, and literally have gotten to a point where if people have wronged me or treated me unjustifiably, I'd get angry to the point of cussing and breaking stuff, and feeling this awful anger come over me to make sure I make my point clear, not caring who I affect around me at that very moment. I'm still quite introverted, but now it feels more like a resentment towards others, even not wanting to look into anyone's faces anymore, and not wanting to make the effort to achieve any sort of companionship, not after the years of being disowned by family members, and like my whole child/teenhood of being complient to those who made me feel like I was walking on thin ice. Nobody's family should threaten to disown or give harsh reactions to their relatives for the dumbest reasons, like simply being an easy target for being the youngest, and the fake people who gave me a shoulder to lean on for 5 minutes before I was replaceable to them after they couldn't control me anymore, or because I no longer met their expectations of a "good enough" human being. I wish they were honest enough to say it to my face. lol. I think people owe a small amount of honesty to other people, because it goes a long way and settles things a lot easier than leading people on without clarity for a long period, like those you know since you were born to tell you have they really felt, instead of holding a lifelong grudge.
*hugs ya tightly*

For anger management I recommend talking to a professional, as those kinds of emotions are hard to talk about. But I do understand that feeling of getting sorta walked on in friendships. Finding people you can be comfortable with, yet keep you in check. I know I say some stupid shit sometimes and they help me to realize it was stupid. but we can also respect our differences. Finding what works best for you is key!

College is a stressful time full of work and strain. Any failures or difficulties are not indicative of your worth or value as a person. Stress and difficulty today does not mean you've failed or that your life can't or won't be good. It's an uphill climb but you can handle this Santo!

We've got your back buddy, we're all rootin' for ya'!
Thanks Punji <3

You're right about one thing, Kimber is an amazing fox. But like Hell is anyone gayer than he is. :p

Ayanaki -- Kimber Hug.png


Love ya' my dear sweet foxy! <3 <3
He do be looking pretty gay there.
 

Firuthi Dragovic

Gamer Dragon, former speedrunner
....I take a bit of a risk going in this direction, but....

After a weird daydream, I decided to do a little research.

I just found out there are cacao farms in Hawaii, of all places.

And that people are growing quinoa in Colorado.

There's the fact that having them closer makes them less costly to transport, but that's not what restores my faith in humanity. It's... other issues with their usual harvesting.
 

Minerva_Minx

Sheogorath is my co-pilot
....I take a bit of a risk going in this direction, but....

After a weird daydream, I decided to do a little research.

I just found out there are cacao farms in Hawaii, of all places.

And that people are growing quinoa in Colorado.

There's the fact that having them closer makes them less costly to transport, but that's not what restores my faith in humanity. It's... other issues with their usual harvesting.
Medicinal anesthesia, blood pressure and other medicine, pesticides, or chocolate milk and Coco puffs?
 

Firuthi Dragovic

Gamer Dragon, former speedrunner
Medicinal anesthesia, blood pressure and other medicine, pesticides, or chocolate milk and Coco puffs?
I was more thinking "stop stealing from the locals". With quinoa at least that's the big thing I'd been hearing regarding its usual harvesting.

(The daydream was along the lines of "what if I grew that stuff up here, using a greenhouse to combat the climate differential between the usual areas and mine, instead of getting it from very... problematic sources of labor?" Which'd apply more to cocoa, because even if combating some of my health issues cuts cravings for them I still love chocolate bars.)

Pesticides THEORETICALLY could fall under this for either one due to differing regulations, but good luck getting most growers to actually obey laws and cut that out.
 

Minerva_Minx

Sheogorath is my co-pilot
I was more thinking "stop stealing from the locals". With quinoa at least that's the big thing I'd been hearing regarding its usual harvesting.

(The daydream was along the lines of "what if I grew that stuff up here, using a greenhouse to combat the climate differential between the usual areas and mine, instead of getting it from very... problematic sources of labor?" Which'd apply more to cocoa, because even if combating some of my health issues cuts cravings for them I still love chocolate bars.)

Pesticides THEORETICALLY could fall under this for either one due to differing regulations, but good luck getting most growers to actually obey laws and cut that out.

It is an interesting tnought. Now I'm going to vent:

Why do I keep looking for new engineering thoughts in this fandom? Now I'm going to work all day in redesigning a medicinal marijuana hydroponic greenhouse for coffee and saffron...
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
It is an interesting tnought. Now I'm going to vent:

Why do I keep looking for new engineering thoughts in this fandom? Now I'm going to work all day in redesigning a medicinal marijuana hydroponic greenhouse for coffee and saffron...
Find you a saffron dealer in Europe. I don't know what other European countries are like, to be fair, but here I can fairly reliably get a .5 gram satchel for 10 SEK (about maybe $1.25 US? IDK). Because saffron is marvelous and it's so ludicrously expensive in North America I can't even.

Venting: I'm so sick of not wanting to do anything. Not "I want to do nothing," which is fine, wanting to laze about sometimes is whatever. But there's like... no activity I have any desire to do, and half the time when I'm playing a game there's this annoying little side thought in the back of my head reminding me that it's not really what I want to be doing. Anhedonia sucks!
 

Minerva_Minx

Sheogorath is my co-pilot
You can stay at our place and try to figure out why my wife hasn't left me. We are on another road trip to find something to do in West Texas. So far we've followed a milk truck for 20 miles, laughed at a super weird pumpkin display, stared at large swaths of nothing, and played the Aileana shut up game....
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Love hate vent.
Took dog for walk.
Dog wanted to explore toboggan trail.
So we do.
All steep.
All sand.
Why sand? There are no beaches in this area. Just river!
Dear god...
"oh I'll just walk on the grassy bits. This is gonna be tough but at least I'll have traction the--"
ALSO SAND
EVERYTHING IS SAND
EVERYTHING IS SLIDING
SAND IN SHOES
SAND IN SOCKS
I STOP TO TAKE TWO BREAKS, NEAR THE TOP OF EACH HILL
We make it to the top and dog tries to play it cool, and try to steer me on a longer walk, like he didn't just flop over and take a break every 3-4 steps.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: RAM

Ennui Elemental

RIP Teeny
Love hate vent.
Took dog for walk.
Dog wanted to explore toboggan trail.
So we do.
All steep.
All sand.
Why sand? There are no beaches in this area. Just river!
Dear god...
"oh I'll just walk on the grassy bits. This is gonna be tough but at least I'll have traction the--"
ALSO SAND
EVERYTHING IS SAND
EVERYTHING IS SLIDING
SAND IN SHOES
SAND IN SOCKS
I STOP TO TAKE TWO BREAKS, NEAR THE TOP OF EACH HILL
We make it to the top and dog tries to play it cool, and try to steer me on a longer walk, like he didn't just flop over and take a break every 3-4 steps.
Riverbed areas are going to be full of and surrounded by silty alluvial deposits.
 
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