Vent Thread

[ssaannttoo]

It's been a couple of months since I've been back on the forums, but just kinda wanted to give a little update to those who have actually spoken to me, and have me on Discord, but wonder what my statuses mean.


Currently, I'm homeless, living in my fiance's truck, partially with him, partially not (Opting to not disclose why)
I'm supposed to be starting a 2nd job after picking up more hours for Amazon's peak season. (Hate PEAK, yall know this,)
Unfortunately, I can't even start that second job because I don't even have access to my SS card to provide them it.
I'm stuck in a predicament as my fiance won't be available for the next month to even help me out/provide for me, and now it's down to whether or not I can find myself shelter, alone, while he's away.

*hugs you super tightly*

I cant even fathom as to what you're going through. It may sound hard (And it is) but its something you can come back from. Hope is something situations like these make us loose. Find something anything that makes you happy and hold onto it. You got this, I believe in you.

 

[Ennui Elemental]

And now workers comp claims department is trying to screw me over.

 

[MM13]

Okay this has bothered me for a while and I don't want to say the name of this particular user but let's just say that even though I blocked him and/or he has blocked me his work still turns up in my submissions messages and well...I don't remember watching the artist, well I sort of do but I blocked this guy's main account, how is this guy using a second account to submit all his work?

 

[Miles Marsalis]

Tomorrow are the "final tests" after my training at the new job. 2 months of training and studying 8 hours a day. Boy, do I feel *not* ready. Failing these tests means that I'm getting fired.

Getting a job is getting more and more difficult as time goes on. I dread the future.

I'm calling it a night, but I want you to remember this and what actually happened.

You're intelligent and diligent; as long as you put in the work, you'll do well even in the poorest of circumstances.

You made the best out of the your last job even with all the bullshit going on there and got a better job, so just remember that.

 

[LameFox]

Okay this has bothered me for a while and I don't want to say the name of this particular user but let's just say that even though I blocked him and/or he has blocked me his work still turns up in my submissions messages and well...I don't remember watching the artist, well I sort of do but I blocked this guy's main account, how is this guy using a second account to submit all his work?

Not sure I follow this at all. Are you saying you ended up watching the alt account of someone you blocked?

 

[quoting_mungo]

Okay this has bothered me for a while and I don't want to say the name of this particular user but let's just say that even though I blocked him and/or he has blocked me his work still turns up in my submissions messages and well...I don't remember watching the artist, well I sort of do but I blocked this guy's main account, how is this guy using a second account to submit all his work?

There’s no rule against using multiple accounts. If they show up in your watch feed, go unwatch them. If they show up on the main recent submissions feed (front page and browse page), that’s basically tough titties. Blocking doesn’t prevent you seeing their submissions, it only prevents them from interacting with you.

 

[ssaannttoo]

put simply I am a failure.

All my life I wanted that one person to be with who would complete me and we’d do almost everything together live our lives as one and just be happy.

Over the past year I’ve been moving between relationships all in search of my one and only. But all I’ve done is cause hurt. I hurt the people I love and care about and move onto a different person to try and fill that ache I guess. Its a cycle I’ve gone through before and it’s something I hate, just going with whatever to try and find somebody who would tolerate my sorry ass, I’ve failed and I will continue to fail. I just wish I could make them feel better ti have them all love me again. Most all of them are genuinely nice people. I’m just a dumb fuck up.

 

[Erix]

put simply I am a failure.

All my life I wanted that one person to be with who would complete me and we’d do almost everything together live our lives as one and just be happy.

Over the past year I’ve been moving between relationships all in search of my one and only. But all I’ve done is cause hurt. I hurt the people I love and care about and move onto a different person to try and fill that ache I guess. Its a cycle I’ve gone through before and it’s something I hate, just going with whatever to try and find somebody who would tolerate my sorry ass, I’ve failed and I will continue to fail. I just wish I could make them feel better ti have them all love me again. Most all of them are genuinely nice people. I’m just a dumb fuck up.

Hey bud,

I’m not too sure what happens in those relationships of urs, but from my understanding of love, it’s hard to find “that” person you know? That one person who’d stick around with u for life and like u like that. I’d imagine for those who yearn it, it would be a path paved with hurt and sorrow, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up over this aspect too much.

Based on what you’re saying, I’m getting that you think you’re the source of the problem in all your relationships failing? Perhaps instead of trying to find another relationship, take a step back from the scene for a sec and self-reflect on yourself and these relationships. Try to think about what you could’ve done better, perhaps what ur partner could’ve done better, and if you really did end up hurting them because of something...

Did you at least apologize to them and talk to em about it?

I’m not tryna be harsh buddy, but if all these relationships haven’t been working out, I would think somethings not right. If you’ve failed at something multiple times, you will continue to fail unless you discover what the problems are and try to fix them. These problems can vary from relationship to relationship, but that’s why I recommend self reflecting about yourself first, because how you handle yourself is almost always similar in such situations. You owe it to your partner to be the best person you can be, and self reflecting can help with that to an extent.

As you know, I don’t do relationships. Never have been in one, never want to be in one, so you can just take my advice with a grain of salt. Though, this is just my two cents on what I’d think to do if I were put into your shoes. If you do end up taking my advice, I hope it helps bro.

 

[Fallowfox]

Word did an oopsie and deleted half of an assignment I need to do for Thursday :/

Gotta get an extension ffs

I always save multiple dated versions of work in case I need to return to a previous version. If you pick that habit up it will save you from no-end of bad situations.

 

[JacobFloofWoof]

put simply I am a failure.

All my life I wanted that one person to be with who would complete me and we’d do almost everything together live our lives as one and just be happy.

Over the past year I’ve been moving between relationships all in search of my one and only. But all I’ve done is cause hurt. I hurt the people I love and care about and move onto a different person to try and fill that ache I guess. Its a cycle I’ve gone through before and it’s something I hate, just going with whatever to try and find somebody who would tolerate my sorry ass, I’ve failed and I will continue to fail. I just wish I could make them feel better ti have them all love me again. Most all of them are genuinely nice people. I’m just a dumb fuck up.

Hey now, you're one few people who bring me happiness on here. Honestly, you are the complete opposite of a failure. I've been shunned by so many people countless times in the past, and the fact that you still interact with me here and there, even when I've presented myself really shitty over and over in the past, it shows you have more compassion than most people on the face of the earth from my experience, and that means a lot in my world. Don't sell yourself short, or let anyone else make you feel that way for the matter. Chemistry between people is very complicated sometimes, and sometimes individuals don't fully understand what they're trying to seek in terms of love, affection, and relationship from another person(s), and it doesn't necessarily make anyone involved a "failure", because all of our minds are still growing and understanding what we all want, and are limits of offering back, but our expectations seem to come before that maturity.


Just always keep in mind that, I, and many others on here, do not consider you a failure, especially when you are always reminding everyone that they still matter and are worthy of receiving happiness and affection, despite their shortcomings (that's why you are the Joy Boi). That's a very hard thing for many others to succeed at, as they just end up giving up on others. I hope you regain the strength to believe in yourself, but as someone who really can't say that for himself, as I've just never really been all that great, I can still see the potential in others.

 

[MM13]

There’s no rule against using multiple accounts. If they show up in your watch feed, go unwatch them. If they show up on the main recent submissions feed (front page and browse page), that’s basically tough titties. Blocking doesn’t prevent you seeing their submissions, it only prevents them from interacting with you.

You can remove the submissions though and I don't nuke the submissions, I just find it odd that someone I blocked or has blocked me still has things that pop up in my submissions despite the fact you can't watch someone who blocked you.

 

[MM13]

Not sure I follow this at all. Are you saying you ended up watching the alt account of someone you blocked?

Oh no...I don't remember ever watching the alt account of this one person since I remembered blocking him, his work just so happened to turn up in my recent submissions up until when I removed them.

 

[quoting_mungo]

You can remove the submissions though and I don't nuke the submissions, I just find it odd that someone I blocked or has blocked me still has things that pop up in my submissions despite the fact you can't watch someone who blocked you.

That's just how the site works; you can't start watching someone who blocked you, but if you're already watching them it won't cancel that watch.

 

[MM13]

That's just how the site works; you can't start watching someone who blocked you, but if you're already watching them it won't cancel that watch.

True. But like I said you can remove the submissions or nuke the submissions section entirely, although I rarely use the nuke option.

 

[Goldarm]

put simply I am a failure.

All my life I wanted that one person to be with who would complete me and we’d do almost everything together live our lives as one and just be happy.

Over the past year I’ve been moving between relationships all in search of my one and only. But all I’ve done is cause hurt. I hurt the people I love and care about and move onto a different person to try and fill that ache I guess. Its a cycle I’ve gone through before and it’s something I hate, just going with whatever to try and find somebody who would tolerate my sorry ass, I’ve failed and I will continue to fail. I just wish I could make them feel better ti have them all love me again. Most all of them are genuinely nice people. I’m just a dumb fuck up.

seems the problem here is you're incapable of standing up on your own two feet.

for one that makes you overly dependant on your lover but at the same time it's not practical for relationships long term.

being able to be a dependable person in a relationship physically (practically? in work and tasks?), mentally (wisdom? intellect?) and even spiritually (socially? emotionally?) is a highly stable way to maintain any relationship or social bond, not to mention the genuine confidence in oneself from knowing you handle anything that comes your way is a very attractive trait.

i think you're trying to patch up cracks on the surface with your behavior, rather than solve the underlying issue.

there are many ways to improve. you can learn a lot of things from books to handle each of the issues and build your confidence.

sitting and crying about a problem will make you feel better in the moment, but the problem is still there are you need to tackle it.

it'll be hard but try not to get distracted. this is most likely more important than anything else that's going on in your life. don't underestimate it.

i hope you take my advice to heart, thanks for reading it through and most important of all i wish you good luck in your trials.

 

[Attaman]

put simply I am a failure.

All my life I wanted that one person to be with who would complete me and we’d do almost everything together live our lives as one and just be happy.

Over the past year I’ve been moving between relationships all in search of my one and only. But all I’ve done is cause hurt. I hurt the people I love and care about and move onto a different person to try and fill that ache I guess. Its a cycle I’ve gone through before and it’s something I hate, just going with whatever to try and find somebody who would tolerate my sorry ass, I’ve failed and I will continue to fail. I just wish I could make them feel better ti have them all love me again. Most all of them are genuinely nice people. I’m just a dumb fuck up.

Once again I am critically at an absence of context (and, since this is a no doubt sensitive matter, I'm fine with keeping it that way).

However, this said and speaking from my own personal experience / opinion, "I can't keep a relationship because it's me", "My ex's were all good people who I have hurt", "These relationships fail because they stop tolerating me", and all the above come off to me not as valid criticism's of one-self (particularly coming from somebody who, as far as I recall from posts you've made elsewhere, is at most in their very early 20's and far to be early to floating such thoughts). What they come off as sounds like somebody on the receiving end of emotional abuse who is being told "I'm the best you're going to get, but if you just won't accept that..."

Again, I am critically short on context. But if any of those conclusions are ones that you have been explicitly told by your current (or other) partner(s)... They're jerking your chain. Hard.

 

[ssaannttoo]

Hey bud,

I’m not too sure what happens in those relationships of urs, but from my understanding of love, it’s hard to find “that” person you know? That one person who’d stick around with u for life and like u like that. I’d imagine for those who yearn it, it would be a path paved with hurt and sorrow, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up over this aspect too much.

Based on what you’re saying, I’m getting that you think you’re the source of the problem in all your relationships failing? Perhaps instead of trying to find another relationship, take a step back from the scene for a sec and self-reflect on yourself and these relationships. Try to think about what you could’ve done better, perhaps what ur partner could’ve done better, and if you really did end up hurting them because of something...

Did you at least apologize to them and talk to em about it?

I’m not tryna be harsh buddy, but if all these relationships haven’t been working out, I would think somethings not right. If you’ve failed at something multiple times, you will continue to fail unless you discover what the problems are and try to fix them. These problems can vary from relationship to relationship, but that’s why I recommend self reflecting about yourself first, because how you handle yourself is almost always similar in such situations. You owe it to your partner to be the best person you can be, and self reflecting can help with that to an extent.

As you know, I don’t do relationships. Never have been in one, never want to be in one, so you can just take my advice with a grain of salt. Though, this is just my two cents on what I’d think to do if I were put into your shoes. If you do end up taking my advice, I hope it helps bro.

Yeah, I have done this kinda thing before in middle school, gone a year dating as many people as possible and then not dating again for 4 or so years. Just need to wonder and understand more about myself

 

[ssaannttoo]

Once again I am critically at an absence of context (and, since this is a no doubt sensitive matter, I'm fine with keeping it that way).

However, this said and speaking from my own personal experience / opinion, "I can't keep a relationship because it's me", "My ex's were all good people who I have hurt", "These relationships fail because they stop tolerating me", and all the above come off to me not as valid criticism's of one-self (particularly coming from somebody who, as far as I recall from posts you've made elsewhere, is at most in their very early 20's and far to be early to floating such thoughts). What they come off as sounds like somebody on the receiving end of emotional abuse who is being told "I'm the best you're going to get, but if you just won't accept that..."

Again, I am critically short on context. But if any of those conclusions are ones that you have been explicitly told by your current (or other) partner(s)... They're jerking your chain. Hard.

I don’t think I understand?

 

[ssaannttoo]

Hey now, you're one few people who bring me happiness on here. Honestly, you are the complete opposite of a failure. I've been shunned by so many people countless times in the past, and the fact that you still interact with me here and there, even when I've presented myself really shitty over and over in the past, it shows you have more compassion than most people on the face of the earth from my experience, and that means a lot in my world. Don't sell yourself short, or let anyone else make you feel that way for the matter. Chemistry between people is very complicated sometimes, and sometimes individuals don't fully understand what they're trying to seek in terms of love, affection, and relationship from another person(s), and it doesn't necessarily make anyone involved a "failure", because all of our minds are still growing and understanding what we all want, and are limits of offering back, but our expectations seem to come before that maturity.


Just always keep in mind that, I, and many others on here, do not consider you a failure, especially when you are always reminding everyone that they still matter and are worthy of receiving happiness and affection, despite their shortcomings (that's why you are the Joy Boi). That's a very hard thing for many others to succeed at, as they just end up giving up on others. I hope you regain the strength to believe in yourself, but as someone who really can't say that for himself, as I've just never really been all that great, I can still see the potential in others.

Thank you. *gives you a super tight hug* keep being out there youre cooler than you think.

 

[Yakamaru]

put simply I am a failure.

All my life I wanted that one person to be with who would complete me and we’d do almost everything together live our lives as one and just be happy.

Over the past year I’ve been moving between relationships all in search of my one and only. But all I’ve done is cause hurt. I hurt the people I love and care about and move onto a different person to try and fill that ache I guess. Its a cycle I’ve gone through before and it’s something I hate, just going with whatever to try and find somebody who would tolerate my sorry ass, I’ve failed and I will continue to fail. I just wish I could make them feel better ti have them all love me again. Most all of them are genuinely nice people. I’m just a dumb fuck up.

You are by no means a failure, love. You make this place better, and it's always fun to chat and interact with you. You like everyone else make mistakes which is absolutely and perfectly normal. And it's through making mistakes we learn the most and quickest.

My only recommendation is to not rush into things, as it rarely turns out the way you want it to. Take your time, you've got plenty of it.

 

[ssaannttoo]

seems the problem here is you're incapable of standing up on your own two feet.

for one that makes you overly dependant on your lover but at the same time it's not practical for relationships long term.

being able to be a dependable person in a relationship physically (practically? in work and tasks?), mentally (wisdom? intellect?) and even spiritually (socially? emotionally?) is a highly stable way to maintain any relationship or social bond, not to mention the genuine confidence in oneself from knowing you handle anything that comes your way is a very attractive trait.

i think you're trying to patch up cracks on the surface with your behavior, rather than solve the underlying issue.

there are many ways to improve. you can learn a lot of things from books to handle each of the issues and build your confidence.

sitting and crying about a problem will make you feel better in the moment, but the problem is still there are you need to tackle it.

it'll be hard but try not to get distracted. this is most likely more important than anything else that's going on in your life. don't underestimate it.

i hope you take my advice to heart, thanks for reading it through and most important of all i wish you good luck in your trials.

Thank you. I’ve been recommended to go to therapy to get help and I’m taking that advice. We’re working on it but it’s sorta slow and I guess doesn’t make me feel better about past relationships

 

[Attaman]

I don’t think I understand?

tl;dr: As an outside observer, if anyone has been telling you such things (or been actively feeding such thoughts / strongly inferring in a direct effort to lead you towards such conclusions... hell, simply not making an effort to dissuade you from such thoughts), this sounds like a partner and / or past partner's trying to emotionally drag you down and leave you dependent on them. As well as make you feel indebted / grateful / lucky that they 'put up with you', all rolled up in "Can you ever be sure you'll be this lucky again?"

To reiterate yet again, I have rather little context outside things mentioned in here (or on other FAF threads) by you before. Which may even mean I have non-existent context if this has nothing to do with any of them. But I have seen plenty of people get emotionally manipulated and guilted in such a way. And it can be very hard for somebody on the receiving end to notice as much because... I mean, part of being in a relationship is generally having blinkers of some degree towards your partner(s) (present or otherwise).

 

[quoting_mungo]

Well, then. Guess who has about two brain cells and forgot her morning meds for the second time in like three days? *facepalm* I was absolutely sure I’d taken them, too, but the pill minder doesn’t lie. FML.

I guess if there was ever any doubt as to whether I can manage without antidepressants, that’s all gone. (Spoiler alert: no meds means mungo no worky.) So that’s… good? Ugh.

 

[Minerva_Minx]

Don't forget the meds!

 

[Filter]

Not only am I a night owl, but I wake up early for work. My cat helps me with the waking up part, which is both helpful and cute, but I should probably get more sleep than I do.