Vent Thread

[quoting_mungo]

Background: I'm terrible at plants. Like... there's a reason I tell people not to get me plants for birthdays etc - I end up killing them through neglect. Not out of malice, I just don't remember things like "water the plants" on a regular basis.

So boyfriend is gone for two weeks. And he likes gardening. So along with regular things that're usually in his court like mowing the lawn, I'm also responsible for keeping his plants alive. Ahahaha. I'm really worried he'll come home to ALL THE DEAD PLANTS, but I'm tryyying. And my dad brought around MORE plants yesterday so that's another set of things to somehow not kill. Also the stupid lawn is like half a foot and I'm pretty sure it's bothering the neighbors, so I really need to get that done. Somehow.

I have no idea where to get the energy and executive function for this. Too much responsibility. ;_;

 

[Kope]

Background: I'm terrible at plants. Like... there's a reason I tell people not to get me plants for birthdays etc - I end up killing them through neglect. Not out of malice, I just don't remember things like "water the plants" on a regular basis.

So boyfriend is gone for two weeks. And he likes gardening. So along with regular things that're usually in his court like mowing the lawn, I'm also responsible for keeping his plants alive. Ahahaha. I'm really worried he'll come home to ALL THE DEAD PLANTS, but I'm tryyying. And my dad brought around MORE plants yesterday so that's another set of things to somehow not kill. Also the stupid lawn is like half a foot and I'm pretty sure it's bothering the neighbors, so I really need to get that done. Somehow.

I have no idea where to get the energy and executive function for this. Too much responsibility. ;_;

Buy new plants to replace old ones :3

 

[quoting_mungo]

Half a foot of grass was a very conservative estimate. Some of those fucking dandelions came up to my knees and the grass wasn't much shorter. I only did the front and sides, not the back, and the lawn looks a bit like a 5-year-old who tried to cut his own hair, but it's mowed. I'm tired enough I could cry. (No, seriously, I'm actually close to tears from exhaustion.)

Buy new plants to replace old ones :3

Hahaha. Be hard to replace his garden plants without it being blatantly obvious - half-grown gourds aren't exactly a dime a dozen, especially here. XD

 

[The_Happiest_Husky]

Just read the entire run of the webcomic Crimson Flag in one day. Now I have a splitting headache and a serious disillusionment with reality
...well, I always have the latter, but it's worse right now

good comic tho, I recommend it a ton

 

[Kope]

Me but with sugar

 

[Minerva_Minx]

View attachment 132442
Me but with sugar

Yup, but i will agree with coffee

 

[TyraWadman]

Why can't I have nice dreams more often and without the extreme heeeeeat

Last year was the same thing. Now I had a dream I was basically in a dating sim. Suspiciously living in a mansion, with pets and sharing the rent with a bunch of random anime dudes. I also had this ability to tame any animal that came my way. I felt like a Mary sue.

I was cautious the whole time wondering why everyone was so friendly and was suspicious at the fact that I seemed to get along with everyone so well. Then i had that light bulb moment XD

Lots of adventures and emotions, including loss and sadness.

 

[Kope]

I’ve found a reason not to off myself now. The quality of healthcare and mental wards in this country. Thanks America

 

[TyraWadman]

Work keeps using the term tf for transfer and there's things called FA and Bans and I just keep getting triggered every ten minutes or so

 

[Fallowfox]

They always come back doesn't matter what meds or therapists I take/visit

(from a medical talk I attended about field science and exploration)
In the general population self-harming behaviours are most common between the ages of 16 and 23.

You're inside that age bracket and you might find that self destructive feelings begin to decrease on their own as you get older.
Of course, I cannot offer bespoke or specific assurances that they will.

 

[Rimna]

When I quit this job, I thought that I'll be able to get unemployment benefits that pay a percentage of my salary. Today as I learned, it turns out that even IF I quality for these benefits, I'll be getting 9 euros per day for every working day, so that's a total of less than 200 euros a month for 3 months, after which I no longer get any money.

In other words, if I don't find a job within a few months I'm fucked, and dead by the end of the year. Up until this point I've always had hope for the future, believing that things will turn out alright eventually but I don't see it happening. From all the jobs I've ever applied to for the past 6 years, I've only been called for an interview by 5 employers.

Yeah, this can only end one way.

 

[TyraWadman]

When I quit this job, I thought that I'll be able to get unemployment benefits that pay a percentage of my salary. Today as I learned, it turns out that even IF I quality for these benefits, I'll be getting 9 euros per day for every working day, so that's a total of less than 200 euros a month for 3 months, after which I no longer get any money.

In other words, if I don't find a job within a few months I'm fucked, and dead by the end of the year. Up until this point I've always had hope for the future, believing that things will turn out alright eventually but I don't see it happening. From all the jobs I've ever applied to for the past 6 years, I've only been called for an interview by 5 employers.

Yeah, this can only end one way.

I anticipao the worst every time but I'm still here! Just don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help from family and friends of you ever need it!!!

 

[Fallowfox]

When I quit this job, I thought that I'll be able to get unemployment benefits that pay a percentage of my salary. Today as I learned, it turns out that even IF I quality for these benefits, I'll be getting 9 euros per day for every working day, so that's a total of less than 200 euros a month for 3 months, after which I no longer get any money.

In other words, if I don't find a job within a few months I'm fucked, and dead by the end of the year. Up until this point I've always had hope for the future, believing that things will turn out alright eventually but I don't see it happening. From all the jobs I've ever applied to for the past 6 years, I've only been called for an interview by 5 employers.

Yeah, this can only end one way.

Rimna what's the format of your CV/resumé, out of interest?

Maybe other people working similar jobs to you can help optimise it.

 

[Rimna]

Rimna what's the format of your CV/resumé, out of interest?

Maybe other people working similar jobs to you can help optimise it.

I have only two friends irl and I was referred by one of them for the job I just quit. The other guy works something completely different and I helped him write his CV.

I don't think the problem is with my CV or cover letters.

 

[Kope]

(from a medical talk I attended about field science and exploration)
In the general population self-harming behaviours are most common between the ages of 16 and 23.

You're inside that age bracket and you might find that self destructive feelings begin to decrease on their own as you get older.
Of course, I cannot offer bespoke or specific assurances that they will.

I have cut myself before and it relieves the pain if that makes sense (I didn’t go deep enough to leave scars cause I’m a wuss of course)

 

[Luxibutt]

I deleted my post. I just needed to write down my feelings.

 

[Minerva_Minx]

I deleted my post. I just needed to write down my feelings.

Done that before

 

[Borophagus Metropolis]

I have cut myself before and it relieves the pain if that makes sense (I didn’t go deep enough to leave scars cause I’m a wuss of course)

Have you tried exercising?

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

I have only two friends irl and I was referred by one of them for the job I just quit. The other guy works something completely different and I helped him write his CV.

I don't think the problem is with my CV or cover letters.

Is it your field is too narrow or specialised? My skillsets/training were kind of odd, being that I had training in many disiplines but none of them were congruent with one another.

I've always been able to find a job when I needed it. It takes perseverence and the ability to step outside your comfort zone and take a job that is not something you excel at but something you think you could do. Not suggesting you flip burgers, hell no I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy but you need to diversify a bit, if your skillset is narrow. Just some suggestions from my lifetime of working, some forty-seven years of busting my behind.

 

[Kope]

Have you tried exercising?

Yes didn’t really do much for me

 

[RAM]

Yes didn’t really do much for me

I doubt you even tried it. At most you did five pushups or something and then decided that it was too hard. You also didn't see immediate results, frustrating you further.

Life doesn't work like that. There needs to be consistent and sustained effort applied to anything worth doing before you see results.

It took me 3 months to lose about 30 pounds, 3 years of living on my own to win my own battle with depression (turns out I needed space and the ability to self-actualize without any input from third-party sources ), and two years before I learned how to socially function around people (I did this when I was around 21 or 22 and in Job Corps). It took me two years to save up my first 10k (after having paid off 8,000 dollars worth of consumer debt while earning 24k a year after taxes) and it's going to take me about ten to hit my first 100k. It's going to take me months before I see any serious gains from the current workout routine that I'm trying out because that's just how working out goes. Results are slow.

Working out sucks, dieting sucks, e-cycling 20 miles in 90+ degree Texas heat on the weekend with no cloud cover along a busy street sucks, and working a physically-demanding job for 50 hours/week sucks. But working out/e-cycling helps my mental state and helps me sleep better because I tire myself out before bed, I like having money in my bank account, and I like having knees that are thankful that I'm not pushing 200 pounds.

Like a huge portion of other self-loathing and miserable furries, your main problem is that you're lazy. You're incredibly lazy. It's so painfully obvious. The fact that no one here has the balls to tell you this other than me (because of-fucking-course it's RAM talking shit again, right?) is just downright criminal. It's easier to complain and pretend that existence itself is actively denying you a meager slice of happiness when in reality you're doing this to yourself by not really putting forth any real effort to make something of your one life.

No one on this forum can help you with this. Virtual internet hugs from a bunch of anonymous furries who lowkey don't give two flying fucks about you won't help you with this. A therapist can't help you with this. Anti-depression meds won't help you with this. You cannot medicate, complain, e-hug, or therapy your way out of this one.

Either do the work to make a life for yourself or remain miserable. Those are your two options.

And no your damn autism isn't an excuse either. I know 3 or 4 autistic people right now on Discord who actually get shit done on the regular. They do the work and they get results. I suspect they realize deep down that the world doesn't care at all about autistic people or whatever hardships that they may face and instead expects them to perform just like everyone else. Rather than mope about it, they accepted this reality and adapted accordingly.

Honestly the best thing that would help you right now is if whoever is taking care of you were to kick you out and force you to fend for yourself.

You'd straighten your act out real quick.

 

[quoting_mungo]

Womp womp. Overspent my spoons (yesterday and the day before) and now feeling like there’s not enough sleep in the world to recover. Bed gravity is off the charts. I know it will pass long as I don’t do anything stupid like overexert myself yet again, but I have shit that literally needed to be done yesterday so…

Fingers crossed I don’t end up with an even worse spoon hangover tomorrow.

 

[Rimna]

Is it your field is too narrow or specialised? My skillsets/training were kind of odd, being that I had training in many disiplines but none of them were congruent with one another.

I've always been able to find a job when I needed it. It takes perseverence and the ability to step outside your comfort zone and take a job that is not something you excel at but something you think you could do. Not suggesting you flip burgers, hell no I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy but you need to diversify a bit, if your skillset is narrow. Just some suggestions from my lifetime of working, some forty-seven years of busting my behind.

No, I've only worked customer service jobs which is a very common position around here.

I really thought that I'd be able to get more money from the unemployment benefits, because I knew that they pay 60% of my past wages for 3 months - so my plan was to take the summer off to improve my health. However, it turns out those 60% don't apply for me because of the specific law/article I resigned under. Instead, if I get approved for the benefits - and they might decline my application - I'll be getting 189 euros a month at most.

I didn't want to move out again, but I have no choice. I wanted to be able to work in my home town so I can help my parents and look after them because they are not getting any younger. I won't be able to help them if I'm unemployed. We also happen to live in the poorest region of the poorest country in the EU. For the most part, jobs here pay 350-400 euros/month BEFORE tax. Now that's not enough to afford food daily if you want to be able to pay the bills as well. In other words, it's no way to live.

Yesterday I applied for at least 30 jobs in different fields - customer service, hospitality(hotels and parks), fintech(risk management/customer verification/fraud prevention), online marketing, data processing, office administrator, I applied for warehouse work too. I cannot do heavy manual labour due to health issues I have - when I was a teen, I had a bad case of scoliosis and a badly herniated disk. I was told by a neurologist that I'll be lucky if I can even sit up on my own and a neurosurgeon told me I need spinal surgery to get better. I didn't have a surgery and the scoliosis is mostly gone but this stops me from doing heavy manual labour.

One of the jobs I applied for, which was advertised as "completely remote", denied me almost instantly because "they're not looking for people from my region".
Here's the job:

Apply now - 5CA Careers

careers.5ca.com

Working from home
Working from home is an adventure that you will love taking part in. Whether you just don't like sitting in an office 8 hours a day, dislike the commute, or you just want to spend more time at home – Working remotely is the perfect way to work in our current, digital world.

And here's their automatic, no-reply email:

Nowhere did they state which regions of the world they are looking to hire from - I wouldn't have applied if they did.

I'm not just sitting around waiting for work to come out of nowhere - I am actively seeking jobs and I hope that at least one of the companies I applied for will interview me.

 

[Kope]

I doubt you even tried it. At most you did five pushups or something and then decided that it was too hard. You also didn't see immediate results, frustrating you further.

Life doesn't work like that. There needs to be consistent and sustained effort applied to anything worth doing before you see results.

It took me 3 months to lose about 30 pounds, 3 years of living on my own to win my own battle with depression (turns out I needed space and the ability to self-actualize without any input from third-party sources ), and two years before I learned how to socially function around people (I did this when I was around 21 or 22 and in Job Corps). It took me two years to save up my first 10k (after having paid off 8,000 dollars worth of consumer debt while earning 24k a year after taxes) and it's going to take me about ten to hit my first 100k. It's going to take me months before I see any serious gains from the current workout routine that I'm trying out because that's just how working out goes. Results are slow.

Working out sucks, dieting sucks, e-cycling 20 miles in 90+ degree Texas heat on the weekend with no cloud cover along a busy street sucks, and working a physically-demanding job for 50 hours/week sucks. But working out/e-cycling helps my mental state and helps me sleep better because I tire myself out before bed, I like having money in my bank account, and I like having knees that are thankful that I'm not pushing 200 pounds.

Like a huge portion of other self-loathing and miserable furries, your main problem is that you're lazy. You're incredibly lazy. It's so painfully obvious. The fact that no one here has the balls to tell you this other than me (because of-fucking-course it's RAM talking shit again, right?) is just downright criminal. It's easier to complain and pretend that existence itself is actively denying you a meager slice of happiness when in reality you're doing this to yourself by not really putting forth any real effort to make something of your one life.

No one on this forum can help you with this. Virtual internet hugs from a bunch of anonymous furries who lowkey don't give two flying fucks about you won't help you with this. A therapist can't help you with this. Anti-depression meds won't help you with this. You cannot medicate, complain, e-hug, or therapy your way out of this one.

Either do the work to make a life for yourself or remain miserable. Those are your two options.

And no your damn autism isn't an excuse either. I know 3 or 4 autistic people right now on Discord who actually get shit done on the regular. They do the work and they get results. I suspect they realize deep down that the world doesn't care at all about autistic people or whatever hardships that they may face and instead expects them to perform just like everyone else. Rather than mope about it, they accepted this reality and adapted accordingly.

Honestly the best thing that would help you right now is if whoever is taking care of you were to kick you out and force you to fend for yourself.

You'd straighten your act out real quick.

Like I said earlier I have done 100 push ups sit ups and squats for 3 months. The tough love thing you're doing here won't work for me unfortunately.

 

[quoting_mungo]

Like I said earlier I have done 100 push ups sit ups and squats for 3 months. The tough love thing you're doing here won't work for me unfortunately.

Eh, don’t listen to him; exercise is healthy, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. There is research suggesting it can be as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression, but like any other treatment how your body responds is going to be individual. Best option, as per the latest best practice/research/foo I’ve seen, remains a combination of treatments.

I do hope you find what’s the best option for you to manage your individual issues, because you don’t deserve feeling shitty. No one does. And no one, myself included, can tell you what exactly will work for you. All we can do is offer advice and encouragement based on our own experience and knowledge.

(I have gotten the “don’t let your depression stop you” thing from people close to me before, and all it is, in my experience, is failure to recognize that what has worked for the speaker isn’t a universal solution. I could try to metaphorically muscle through, and I would end up suffering for it. Been there, done that, spent a month or more having migraines more days than not.)