Vent Thread
- Thread starter WithMyBearHands
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TyraWadman
The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Pretty sure my hemorrhoid was causing me pain this whole time. I no longer feel like I'm carrying a miracle child either now that it's taken care of itself.
Still surprised I haven't died from bloodloss though.
Still surprised I haven't died from bloodloss though.
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Xitheon
Guest
My cat jumped into my shower cubicle just as I turned the water on and now he is mad at me. He bit me and turned his back on me. It wasn't my fault, you silly animal. >:-(
Fallowfox
Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
I thought haemorrhoids affected the anus? Wasn't your pain abdominal?
I think maybe see a doctor even if the symptom has resolved.
TyraWadman
The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Yea bit it's internal so maybe it was pushing up on my insides? I'm only speculating because I can't sign up for a doctor until I get my IDs replaced and that could take up to a year or more.
Fallowfox
Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
Can you cover costs out of pocket, or take out a month of private healthcare insurance?
Your employer may also have advice on a faster route to access medical care; expecting you to wait more than a year is very unreasonable (and I have never had an ID renewal that took more than a month to process!).
Rimna
Well-known Monkey
My salary for last month's full-time work, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week of mind-draining calculations - I received 270 euros for it.
Whoever tells you europe is a good place to live in, plenty of wealthy people - they clearly have no clue what they're talking about and they consider europe to be only the countries where the native languages are german, french, dutch, or any of the scandinavian languages.
One of these days I will lose my shit and sell everything I own to become a slave in a normal country and be paid 10 times as much for cleaning toilets or whatever the fuck it is slavs do abroad.
Whoever tells you europe is a good place to live in, plenty of wealthy people - they clearly have no clue what they're talking about and they consider europe to be only the countries where the native languages are german, french, dutch, or any of the scandinavian languages.
One of these days I will lose my shit and sell everything I own to become a slave in a normal country and be paid 10 times as much for cleaning toilets or whatever the fuck it is slavs do abroad.
Rayd
profound asshole
>"wow nobody gives a single shit about me huh"
>"that's okay i guess because at least i get to see my therapist tomorrow. she's kind of my friend i suppose."
>goes into therapist session to talk about how alone and hopeless i feel
>therapist tells me she's going on leave indefinitely right after
holy shit my life is a depressing cartoon lol
>"that's okay i guess because at least i get to see my therapist tomorrow. she's kind of my friend i suppose."
>goes into therapist session to talk about how alone and hopeless i feel
>therapist tells me she's going on leave indefinitely right after
holy shit my life is a depressing cartoon lol
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Xitheon
Guest
That's so cruel. What a bitch. You have my sympathy.
Rayd
profound asshole
well, she warned me that she was probably going to have to take leave months in advance. so i completely understood. i think she handled it the best she possibly could. she noticed i was visibly upset about it (i was holding back tears for the entire rest of the session afterwards) and she told me she was so proud of me and even hugged me and told me she would set me up with another therapist until she eventually returns. i couldn't have asked for a better therapist honestly. i feel immense comfort in her presence. so i don't feel angry about it. i'm just going to miss her a lot.
i just thought it was comically fucked up that her taking leave was perfectly timed with me feeling especially lonely and helpless.
TyraWadman
The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Honestly, this has happened to me every time i find a therapist that actually works and it stings. Like... can you refer me to someone before you go? :')
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Xitheon
Guest
quoting_mungo
Well-Known Member
Hey, could be worse. You could have people deciding that you're not good enough at therapy to get put on the waiting list for a new one when the first one leaves... but not even bother telling you until literally a year+ later. Not that I'm bitter. :/
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
I can't watch a movie or tv show for enjoyment, really. It seems everything is spoiled two minutes after it comes out.
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
I'm just grateful you all have therapists. honestly, living this close to Roswell, I am kinda hoping for an intergalactic caregiver to do housecalls.
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
I am now goimg to run away really really fast. If it looks like I'm not running away, please stop me amd tell me which way to go so I stop running in circles.
Frank Gulotta
Send us your floppy
I work in a kinda affluent area, you'd expect the rich bichs to be entitled assholes if you listened to certain people; but so far (notably today) it's the state subsidized housing districts that seem haunted by gigakarens
Not sure if it's a messy divorce going on (because of course I know more than I would ever want to about her life after that unpleasant interaction) but... the RAGE, the buggy bulging eyes holy shit! I wish that was a cartoon.
Now that I think of it, this particular building is full of crazy people, there's the one who seems adamant that she signs her death warrant every time we visit (I've heard the same lady say that at the bank also, at least I think it was the same, otherwise it's an eerily common delusion) and the one who keeps writing to the president about god knows what
Not sure if it's a messy divorce going on (because of course I know more than I would ever want to about her life after that unpleasant interaction) but... the RAGE, the buggy bulging eyes holy shit! I wish that was a cartoon.
Now that I think of it, this particular building is full of crazy people, there's the one who seems adamant that she signs her death warrant every time we visit (I've heard the same lady say that at the bank also, at least I think it was the same, otherwise it's an eerily common delusion) and the one who keeps writing to the president about god knows what
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Xitheon
Guest
It has taken so long for me to realize that I'm a f**king scary b*tch. I'm usually too caught up being afraid of other people to realize that I'm acting "psycho."
I don't do it on purpose. It's just me.
I don't do it on purpose. It's just me.
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”- Edgar Allan Poe
Are you my mummy?
quoting_mungo
Well-Known Member
Just under 11 hours until wisdom tooth surgery. I’m stressing over it for no good reason.
Was trying to finish a craft project today and our ancient (used to belong to my maternal grandmother, who died when I was three) sewing machine decided it was more interested in making birds’ nests out of the bobbin thread than in actually sewing. Boyfriend got it sorted out eventually, but hurdles tend to raise my anxiety levels. So I’ve got to give myself some more time to finish that project, which I’d hoped to have done tonight.
Was trying to finish a craft project today and our ancient (used to belong to my maternal grandmother, who died when I was three) sewing machine decided it was more interested in making birds’ nests out of the bobbin thread than in actually sewing. Boyfriend got it sorted out eventually, but hurdles tend to raise my anxiety levels. So I’ve got to give myself some more time to finish that project, which I’d hoped to have done tonight.
Frank Gulotta
Send us your floppy
I'm worried about a russian friend
He burned bridges with me because he found out about my opinions on communism but we used to have fun, I've been unable to join him and now Russia is mobilizing
He burned bridges with me because he found out about my opinions on communism but we used to have fun, I've been unable to join him and now Russia is mobilizing
D
Deleted member 127940
Guest
This is less of a vent but more of a disturbing observation that I've recently made about myself.
While I've been pouring tons of effort into calcifying my position within my first two Maslow Levels, I think this has unfortunately come at the expense of my psychological health. I haven't been paying attention to it at all because my go-to strategy--one that I've been running for the past 3 years--is to just sort of armor up mentally, bar the gates of my psyche, and sort of angrily bludgeon my way through life like a bull with a rancid attitude.
See, before my present situation, my life chronology in Texas went something like this (circa 2019 to 2020):
1) Move out of my parent's house on bad terms to go live with my dad.
2) Deal with my dad's bullshit.
3) Stop being homeless after dad my kicked me out.
4) Get out of debt by throwing down 55+ hour workweeks at whatever jobs I could secure.
Armor was donned, gates were barred, and the bull was unleashed during this period. You were either stepped on, stepped over, or stepped around. No amount of Karens, Kyles, wannabe thugs, life hiccups, psychopathic bosses, or general normie dickwads could stop me. My hatred for people was further reinforced during this period as well. If you tried to get close to me, I sort of gradually rejected you because I couldn't afford to have you fuck up my flow. I didn't trust you and we didn't have anything in common anyway.
Running this play made sense at the time because my first two Maslow Levels hadn't been satisfied. I didn't have the cognitive bandwidth to worry about all of the fluffy stuff. But then I solved all of these problems. Things ran smoothly for a while.
But I never took the armor off, I didn't open the gates, and I never put that bull back into its cage.
Then this grim revelation hit.
And so right now it's just:
1) Make the money.
2) DCA half of it into index funds and other investment vehicles so that I can hopefully retire from this wages slave nightmare by around 45.
3) Stomach normies blithering normy bullshit on the daily. Worst one is my current manager. Man is a perfect caricature of a modern married male: chivalrous to the point of simpdom, masterful at self-delusion ("You just need to decide that you're happy!"), and thoroughly locked into the system via a house note, probably one or two car notes, a wife, and some kids. He's a good person, but he and I are like Ying and Yang. We couldn't be any more different.
But do you see something wrong in that list? See something missing? There are no friends in this list. No family. It's literally wakeup, work, eat, sleep, get paid, sock the money away in one of several Fidelity accounts, and maybe sort of fart around on a dying hero shooter played by thousands of people who hate each other.
I can't believe I'm about to utter the following given how much shit I give so many people on here for being soft and weak, but I think what I'm feeling is genuine loneliness. I'm separated from my immediate family (who I love with all of my heart) by about 1,400 miles and my dad, who I am cool with now, is in California on business. My blood knows how I am and I feel safe around them. I like them. I trust them. We share interests.
But I have no friends in Texas. Shit's fucked.
My steel is resolute. Always will be. But I'd been lying if I sat here and said that this stuff wasn't getting heavier with each passing day.
Solution is to just go get friends, right? Become interesting. Do interesting stuff. Have something worth bringing to the conversation table.
Problem: because I'm so hardened emotionally and detached from other people by such a massive degree, I have this..."aura" of subtle anger (and possibly insecurity) about me. Resting bitch face doesn't help, either. And I think people pick up on this energy. And they react accordingly by throwing out little jabs that I match with more armor, more wall barring, and an angrier bull. Cycle continues. You all know how it is. Armor up; bar those gates; let the bull out.
Truly, I respect this aspect of my persona. It got me to where I am today. Effective. Utilitarian. Brutal. And it's absolutely unwavering.
But it's literally impossible to make friends when you're operating like this 24/7.
While I've been pouring tons of effort into calcifying my position within my first two Maslow Levels, I think this has unfortunately come at the expense of my psychological health. I haven't been paying attention to it at all because my go-to strategy--one that I've been running for the past 3 years--is to just sort of armor up mentally, bar the gates of my psyche, and sort of angrily bludgeon my way through life like a bull with a rancid attitude.
See, before my present situation, my life chronology in Texas went something like this (circa 2019 to 2020):
1) Move out of my parent's house on bad terms to go live with my dad.
2) Deal with my dad's bullshit.
3) Stop being homeless after dad my kicked me out.
4) Get out of debt by throwing down 55+ hour workweeks at whatever jobs I could secure.
Armor was donned, gates were barred, and the bull was unleashed during this period. You were either stepped on, stepped over, or stepped around. No amount of Karens, Kyles, wannabe thugs, life hiccups, psychopathic bosses, or general normie dickwads could stop me. My hatred for people was further reinforced during this period as well. If you tried to get close to me, I sort of gradually rejected you because I couldn't afford to have you fuck up my flow. I didn't trust you and we didn't have anything in common anyway.
Running this play made sense at the time because my first two Maslow Levels hadn't been satisfied. I didn't have the cognitive bandwidth to worry about all of the fluffy stuff. But then I solved all of these problems. Things ran smoothly for a while.
But I never took the armor off, I didn't open the gates, and I never put that bull back into its cage.
Then this grim revelation hit.
And so right now it's just:
1) Make the money.
2) DCA half of it into index funds and other investment vehicles so that I can hopefully retire from this wages slave nightmare by around 45.
3) Stomach normies blithering normy bullshit on the daily. Worst one is my current manager. Man is a perfect caricature of a modern married male: chivalrous to the point of simpdom, masterful at self-delusion ("You just need to decide that you're happy!"), and thoroughly locked into the system via a house note, probably one or two car notes, a wife, and some kids. He's a good person, but he and I are like Ying and Yang. We couldn't be any more different.
But do you see something wrong in that list? See something missing? There are no friends in this list. No family. It's literally wakeup, work, eat, sleep, get paid, sock the money away in one of several Fidelity accounts, and maybe sort of fart around on a dying hero shooter played by thousands of people who hate each other.
I can't believe I'm about to utter the following given how much shit I give so many people on here for being soft and weak, but I think what I'm feeling is genuine loneliness. I'm separated from my immediate family (who I love with all of my heart) by about 1,400 miles and my dad, who I am cool with now, is in California on business. My blood knows how I am and I feel safe around them. I like them. I trust them. We share interests.
But I have no friends in Texas. Shit's fucked.
My steel is resolute. Always will be. But I'd been lying if I sat here and said that this stuff wasn't getting heavier with each passing day.
Solution is to just go get friends, right? Become interesting. Do interesting stuff. Have something worth bringing to the conversation table.
Problem: because I'm so hardened emotionally and detached from other people by such a massive degree, I have this..."aura" of subtle anger (and possibly insecurity) about me. Resting bitch face doesn't help, either. And I think people pick up on this energy. And they react accordingly by throwing out little jabs that I match with more armor, more wall barring, and an angrier bull. Cycle continues. You all know how it is. Armor up; bar those gates; let the bull out.
Truly, I respect this aspect of my persona. It got me to where I am today. Effective. Utilitarian. Brutal. And it's absolutely unwavering.
But it's literally impossible to make friends when you're operating like this 24/7.
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