Vent Thread

[Minerva_Minx]

Getting a social security number is my next feat lol.

Call tel:800-772-1213 (social security administration hotline) and they should walk you through it. It is generally going to be it's own building or near a court. If they can't help, then go to irs.gov and use their interactive link. It's quick. It's frustrating DHS and USCIS aren't helpful unless you find the right people.

Then it's figuring out the recycling regimen

Most places publish online. Americans usually mix trash anyway.

and choosing which retirement contribution package to elect.

Large cap is usually safe if you don't know.

I'm mostly worried about getting my first pay packet and figuring out how to pay all my bills.

I don't think anyone doesn't envy you that.

So far the 'bureaucracy' stuff that I have done is:

-Apply for Job offer letter official recognition.
-Pay registration fee for cultural exchange visa system.
-Fill out online visa application.
-Pay for right to submit visa application.
-Attend consular interview for visa + finger-printing + surrender passport.
-Download vaccination records.
-Pay private health provider for temporary coverage.
-Sign vaccination attestation.
-Arrive in USA.
-Supply fingerprints again, display visa, display official job recognition, generate official arrival documentation.
-Display visa, passport and official job recognition to USA bank choice.
-Upload proof of vaccination to employer + begin digitally submitting relevant document numbers and identity photographs.
-Register with USPS.
-Go to Employer, display visa, display official job recognition, display arrival documentation, display birth certificate.

Yeah, it's a busy two to three weeks.

-Sign up to health insurance plan, dental plan, life insurance plan, life-long disability and accident plan... all of which require a social security number, which isn't automatically given to employees beginning work in the USA even though it is legally mandatory for us. :}

It's the IRS taxpayer ID.

Don't try doing it all in a vacuum. Reach out if you have problems. I check here twice daily usually, unless I'm off.

Edit: joy of immigrant wife. Lol, don't be gay, sparky.

 

[Woozle]

Why do people think that ferrets are rodents?

They don't even look or behave like rodents. They are mustelids, carnivorous and are only related to rodents in the general sense of being furry mammals.

ARGH.

 

[quoting_mungo]

Why do people think that ferrets are rodents?

They don't even look or behave like rodents. They are mustelids, carnivorous and are only related to rodents in the general sense of being furry mammals.

ARGH.

Similarly sized, maybe? People having similar "ick" responses to ferrets and rats? If you see the face of a ferret and aren't great at "what do animals look like" you might if you squint mistake it for a rat?

(Which isn't to say it's not a silly mix-up. People just... seem to have odd ideas about what animals look like, some times. Less common/less "species-typical" breeds of many animals get some odd IDs by clueless laypeople trying to show off - IIRC an artist I follow who has sphynx has gotten some pretty creative guesses. Hell, even not-so-laypeople, sometimes; I had a classmate once who was a dog owner and fancied herself pretty good at dogs. She swore some dog breed (maybe chihuahuas? It's been a long time) was part fennec. Like... no?)

People can be... special.

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

So, my car's power steering has been repaired.

The cost? Around $2,400. Of which my family insists on splitting 50-50, rather than saddling me with the whole bill.

(Much of that cost was not the parts, but the labor - they had to spend 8 hours replacing parts in the power steering and apparently they bill at $130/hour for that sort of thing.)

This is apparently the kind of repair typical of all old cars (it's a 2010 Ford Edge). So it's time for me to start looking for a fairly gently-used SUV by next spring. And I'm sticking to the last three model years and less than 50,000 driven miles if at all possible - I REALLY don't want to wind up spending a fortune on repair bills.

(As I have permanently sworn off smaller cars at this point, I'll be lucky to get over 25 mpg. And sadly for the enviro-people here, car cost trumps being too picky about being eco-friendly.)

 

[Deleted member 160939]

So, my car's power steering has been repaired.

The cost? Around $2,400. Of which my family insists on splitting 50-50, rather than saddling me with the whole bill.

(Much of that cost was not the parts, but the labor - they had to spend 8 hours replacing parts in the power steering and apparently they bill at $130/hour for that sort of thing.)

This is apparently the kind of repair typical of all old cars (it's a 2010 Ford Edge). So it's time for me to start looking for a fairly gently-used SUV by next spring. And I'm sticking to the last three model years and less than 50,000 driven miles if at all possible - I REALLY don't want to wind up spending a fortune on repair bills.

(As I have permanently sworn off smaller cars at this point, I'll be lucky to get over 25 mpg. And sadly for the enviro-people here, car cost trumps being too picky about being eco-friendly.)

$2400 is pretty high. Did the Ford dealership do it?

You could of got it cheaper at Advance Auto or any other parts store and found a independent mechanic to do it much cheaper than the dealership.

I would hang on to it to be honest.

My truck is a 98 and haven't done much to it.

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

$2400 is pretty high. Did the Ford dealership do it?

You could of got it cheaper at Advance Auto or any other parts store and found a independent mechanic to do it much cheaper than the dealership.

I would hang on to it to be honest.

My truck is a 98 and haven't done much to it.

We.... actually tried that yesterday.

However, the dealership has not been reputable. They said they'd do it at a 9am appointment and hadn't even looked at it by 4pm, at which point my folks (who insisted on doing this as I had to work and they're both retirees) drove it to a Pep Boys to do it (which was today's work).

I have sworn off the dealership in question, permanently.

You want honesty? I feel like "you really need to start looking at a car", said immediately after a repair like this, is another excuse by my parents to intimidate me into hoarding ever-higher amounts of my money instead of actually putting it to use. I've made rants here before about how saving half of the money I make isn't enough for these people.

 

[Deleted member 160939]

We.... actually tried that yesterday.

However, the dealership has not been reputable. They said they'd do it at a 9am appointment and hadn't even looked at it by 4pm, at which point my folks (who insisted on doing this as I had to work and they're both retirees) drove it to a Pep Boys to do it (which was today's work).

I have sworn off the dealership in question, permanently.

You want honesty? I feel like "you really need to start looking at a car", said immediately after a repair like this, is another excuse by my parents to intimidate me into hoarding ever-higher amounts of my money instead of actually putting it to use. I've made rants here before about how saving half of the money I make isn't enough for these people.

I had every intention myself to upgrade but the market was way overpriced then and still is. I would hang on to what you got. Either way it'll cost you in maintenance or payments or both.

Pep Boy's or any quick lube is the last place I would ever take a vehicle to get work done.

 

[Punk_M0nitor]

And here I thought I would feel better after a couple weeks sober. Instead I just feel like I’m white-knuckling my way through everything and the paranoia is back.

 

[Minerva_Minx]

So, my car's power steering has been repaired.

The cost? Around $2,400. Of which my family insists on splitting 50-50, rather than saddling me with the whole bill.

(Much of that cost was not the parts, but the labor - they had to spend 8 hours replacing parts in the power steering and apparently they bill at $130/hour for that sort of thing.)

This is apparently the kind of repair typical of all old cars (it's a 2010 Ford Edge). So it's time for me to start looking for a fairly gently-used SUV by next spring. And I'm sticking to the last three model years and less than 50,000 driven miles if at all possible - I REALLY don't want to wind up spending a fortune on repair bills.

(As I have permanently sworn off smaller cars at this point, I'll be lucky to get over 25 mpg. And sadly for the enviro-people here, car cost trumps being too picky about being eco-friendly.)

Maybe $1000 for a pump repair. Did the steering column or other parts break?

I feel you on eco cars. It's a out half the price for a regular car vs hybrid here. But then again, Texas...

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

So, my car's power steering has been repaired.

The cost? Around $2,400. Of which my family insists on splitting 50-50, rather than saddling me with the whole bill.

(Much of that cost was not the parts, but the labor - they had to spend 8 hours replacing parts in the power steering and apparently they bill at $130/hour for that sort of thing.)

This is apparently the kind of repair typical of all old cars (it's a 2010 Ford Edge). So it's time for me to start looking for a fairly gently-used SUV by next spring. And I'm sticking to the last three model years and less than 50,000 driven miles if at all possible - I REALLY don't want to wind up spending a fortune on repair bills.

(As I have permanently sworn off smaller cars at this point, I'll be lucky to get over 25 mpg. And sadly for the enviro-people here, car cost trumps being too picky about being eco-friendly.)

There's at best, $500 in parts so they gouged you $1,900 in labor. Unless the rack was located behind the engine on the firewall, that's at best a four hour job, so $520 for labor at that cr@ptastic Ford dealer. This is why I prefer the older cars that you can work on without fancy scan tools.

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

Maybe $1000 for a pump repair. Did the steering column or other parts break?

I feel you on eco cars. It's a out half the price for a regular car vs hybrid here. But then again, Texas...

Apparently both power steering hoses and wherever they hook into the steering wheel were suffering a slow leak. So... my guess is this took 8 hours because they had to dig pretty far back.

There's at best, $500 in parts so they gouged you $1,900 in labor. Unless the rack was located behind the engine on the firewall, that's at best a four hour job, so $520 for labor at that cr@ptastic Ford dealer. This is why I prefer the older cars that you can work on without fancy scan tools.

This... didn't get done at a dealership.

This had to be dragged to a Pep Boys (as stated before, this was not my decision) because not only did the actual dealership not actually uphold the original appointment (as stated earlier, they agreed to a 9am appointment but didn't do any work by 4pm)... the dealership tried to blame it on the transmission, not the power steering like we'd extensively tested.

It would have been more expensive if the dealer had conned us into that one.

Needless to say, the dealer will not get a penny of my business from this point. I will need to do research on dealerships in the future.


Unfortunately, due to my own paranoia and the fact that I do not do well in tight spaces, doing my own car repair work is probably never going to be a thing even if I didn't need my own scan tools.

 

[Judge Spear]

I've been barred from talking to someone within my personal friend group.

I know that immediately sounds bad on my part and theres a bit of a point to that. Let me explain...

Spoiler: Details

I have a fairly tight knit personal circle of people I've known for 10+ years. We went to school together. One of them, we'll just call Frank, started dating someone who we'll call June about 3 years ago. They live together now, plan to get married, have two gorgeous dogs together, and actively push each other to do better.

They did not follow the usual couples trend of "you have your friends, I have mine".
Frank made an express effort to integrate June in our group. She plays games with us. She's in my Discord server. We invite them both to gatherings. Etc. Doing as friends do.

When she first started talking with us, she was naturally nervous and wary of how to interact with new people. Formal, stuffy, skittish. So I took it upon myself to extend a friendly hand and just be amicable towards her to break the ice. I figured in her being comfortable around me it would inspire everyone else to be the same. Thats how I've known friendships to work.
For the last year, I would just chat with her the same way I would the rest of my friends. Exactly the same way. Send her stupid memes, video game bullshit, ask if shes hanging out with us on specific dates etc. I helped her plan Frank's 30th birthday.
No romantic messages. None at weird times. No "good mornings". No "good nights". Nothing that could be considered a pet name. Kept it strictly casual exactly how I'd message anyone.
And one day she came to me with a concern that I think let her be a little more comfortable around us.

June was worried in the unfortunate event Frank and her split, would she be "banished" (lol) from my group. She doesnt want to be seen as a tag along or some extension of Frank. Even making mention no one else was really talking to her. It's something I had actually thought of myself which is why I tried to simply speak to her more just through Discord DM's. Thats how I know to make friendships, one on one talking. So she had at least someone besides Frank in this group (he wanted her to be part of) show that her company is appreciated.

I made it clear that there are certain things we are inherently careful of because A) shes a girl B) shes *someone's* girl. We dont want to cross boundaries, so that bond at our age might build a little slower. We had a long talk about it and I think we both felt a bit more at ease that day. This was weeks ago.

This past Friday, we're in voice chat and theres a moment Frank are alone chatting. I bring up a funny conversation June and I had with him. It was nothing pressing at all. Just some goofy shit I thought he'd get a chuckle from and maybe bounce back with something. We continue to talk about Yugioh and other shit and then go to bed in like an hour.

I wake up and the first notification I see at 7 AM "Frank said we can't talk privately anymore. After talking to him about it last night, I get his perspective. It is kind of weird."

What?

So I go to Frank. I tell him I'm not gonna combat him but that it stings a bit he couldnt have just talked to me the night before about this if he had reservations. I also confidently gave him full permission to go through our messages to see theres no foul play. He would even find messages where I emphatically state I'm not trying to generate friction.
He told me its not about the content. It's that I talk to her in a one on one environment at all. "Nothing needs to be said in private." (Including his birthday party he didnt know I was integral to organizing I guess)
So he has a conversation with June about me where I dont know what was said that I could defend against. And he convinced June in what could have only been 1 or 2 hours to second guess my intentions and totally stop talking to me after a year of doing so.

"If you wanna talk to her on Discord, you can just do it in the main chat where I can see it."

WHAT?

So if I want to talk to June, I have to now talk to her in front of everyone else in the server. Ok fine. But, if I want her attention to do that, I would have to repeatedly tag her. I dont do that with anybody when I want to talk about something with just one person. I go to their DM's. NO ONE operates like this. And I'm not going to start with *someones girlfriend* because how does that look?

"@June! Hey @June! Yo @June! @June I got something for you to see! @June you little shit! @June [GiancarloEspositoglare.jpg]"

This singles her out and looks weirder than just using the faculties that allow for simple talking. I dont talk in DM'S to hide from Frank. Its *DIRECT*, unbroken chains of discussion that are convenient for everyone.

So is June not allowed to speak with anyone in the group like I was? Is it insecurity or do you not trust anyone you've known for 12-15 years? More pressing, do you not trust your girlfriend's loyalty? Is it just ME you dont want talking her? If so why am I a threat? Wheres the line actually drawn for interacting with her? If I'm at your place and you're in another room, can I talk to June or do I need to wait?

Do you see how "Judge Spear cant talk to June anymore" looks SO incredibly shitty and how this makes NO sense?

That comes to light and everyone is going to instantly assume I attempted to put moves on someone's SO which was not the case. This is so stressful, needless, and frustrating. I have never been put in this position before and it pulls up all manner of harmful ramifications and implications.

I've known this motherfucker for 12 years. I have never given a reason to think I'm some homewrecker. But if he tries to spin it that way, I'm raining blinding hellfire on him to vindicate myself. Because if June wants to immediately think the worst of my interactions, the friendship wasnt worth establishing. Whatever. But you will not make me look like a creep to my longest friends. Fuck that.

 

[quoting_mungo]

I've been barred from talking to someone within my personal friend group.

I know that immediately sounds bad on my part and theres a bit of a point to that. Let me explain...

Spoiler: Details

I have a fairly tight knit personal circle of people I've known for 10+ years. We went to school together. One of them, we'll just call Frank, started dating someone who we'll call June about 3 years ago. They live together now, plan to get married, have two gorgeous dogs together, and actively push each other to do better.

They did not follow the usual couples trend of "you have your friends, I have mine".
Frank made an express effort to integrate June in our group. She plays games with us. She's in my Discord server. We invite them both to gatherings. Etc. Doing as friends do.

When she first started talking with us, she was naturally nervous and wary of how to interact with new people. Formal, stuffy, skittish. So I took it upon myself to extend a friendly hand and just be amicable towards her to break the ice. I figured in her being comfortable around me it would inspire everyone else to be the same. Thats how I've known friendships to work.
For the last year, I would just chat with her the same way I would the rest of my friends. Exactly the same way. Send her stupid memes, video game bullshit, ask if shes hanging out with us on specific dates etc. I helped her plan Frank's 30th birthday.
No romantic messages. None at weird times. No "good mornings". No "good nights". Nothing that could be considered a pet name. Kept it strictly casual exactly how I'd message anyone.
And one day she came to me with a concern that I think let her be a little more comfortable around us.

June was worried in the unfortunate event Frank and her split, would she be "banished" (lol) from my group. She doesnt want to be seen as a tag along or some extension of Frank. Even making mention no one else was really talking to her. It's something I had actually thought of myself which is why I tried to simply speak to her more just through Discord DM's. Thats how I know to make friendships, one on one talking. So she had at least someone besides Frank in this group (he wanted her to be part of) show that her company is appreciated.

I made it clear that there are certain things we are inherently careful of because A) shes a girl B) shes *someone's* girl. We dont want to cross boundaries, so that bond at our age might build a little slower. We had a long talk about it and I think we both felt a bit more at ease that day. This was weeks ago.

This past Friday, we're in voice chat and theres a moment Frank are alone chatting. I bring up a funny conversation June and I had with him. It was nothing pressing at all. Just some goofy shit I thought he'd get a chuckle from and maybe bounce back with something. We continue to talk about Yugioh and other shit and then go to bed in like an hour.

I wake up and the first notification I see at 7 AM "Frank said we can't talk privately anymore. After talking to him about it last night, I get his perspective. It is kind of weird."

What?

So I go to Frank. I tell him I'm not gonna combat him but that it stings a bit he couldnt have just talked to me the night before about this if he had reservations. I also confidently gave him full permission to go through our messages to see theres no foul play. He would even find messages where I emphatically state I'm not trying to generate friction.
He told me its not about the content. It's that I talk to her in a one on one environment at all. "Nothing needs to be said in private." (Including his birthday party he didnt know I was integral to organizing I guess)
So he has a conversation with June about me where I dont know what was said that I could defend against. And he convinced June in what could have only been 1 or 2 hours to second guess my intentions and totally stop talking to me after a year of doing so.

"If you wanna talk to her on Discord, you can just do it in the main chat where I can see it."

WHAT?

So if I want to talk to June, I have to now talk to her in front of everyone else in the server. Ok fine. But, if I want her attention to do that, I would have to repeatedly tag her. I dont do that with anybody when I want to talk about something with just one person. I go to their DM's. NO ONE operates like this. And I'm not going to start with *someones girlfriend* because how does that look?

"@June! Hey @June! Yo @June! @June I got something for you to see! @June you little shit! @June [GiancarloEspositoglare.jpg]"

This singles her out and looks weirder than just using the faculties that allow for simple talking. I dont talk in DM'S to hide from Frank. Its *DIRECT*, unbroken chains of discussion that are convenient for everyone.

So is June not allowed to speak with anyone in the group like I was? Is it insecurity or do you not trust anyone you've known for 12-15 years? More pressing, do you not trust your girlfriend's loyalty? Is it just ME you dont want talking her? If so why am I a threat? Wheres the line actually drawn for interacting with her? If I'm at your place and you're in another room, can I talk to June or do I need to wait?

Do you see how "Judge Spear cant talk to June anymore" looks SO incredibly shitty and how this makes NO sense?

That comes to light and everyone is going to instantly assume I attempted to put moves on someone's SO which was not the case. This is so stressful, needless, and frustrating. I have never been put in this position before and it pulls up all manner of harmful ramifications and implications.

I've known this motherfucker for 12 years. I have never given a reason to think I'm some homewrecker. But if he tries to spin it that way, I'm raining blinding hellfire on him to vindicate myself. Because if June wants to immediately think the worst of my interactions, the friendship wasnt worth establishing. Whatever. But you will not make me look like a creep to my longest friends. Fuck that.

Frank is a bad partner and June should break off the engagement. (Provided your understanding/presentation of the situation is accurate - not accusing you of deliberately lying about it or anything, just saying I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of their relationship.) Trying to dictate who she can hang out with, virtually or otherwise, is a giant red flag. I wouldn't put too much blame on June, because this is the kind of lowkey abusive behavior that our society normalizes and romanticizes the hell out of. Ideally she would stand up to him, but that's the kind of socialization that's often hard to break. The only thing not textbook about this compared to similar situations cornerstone to just about every romcom ever is that the genders are swapped from the typical script.

Like... if you do want to continue communicating off the main channel with June (perfectly reasonable!), while humoring Frank to keep the peace, I guess ask him if setting up a 3-way DM between the three of you (with the understanding that it's the "where I can see it" solution to not make the main chat awkward, not a chat where he's supposed to be an active participant) would be sufficient to alleviate his insecurities.

Or be snarkily passive-aggressive by asking June in the group chat whether she thinks [item] would be a good Christmas/birthday gift for Frank.

 

[Judge Spear]

Frank is a bad partner and June should break off the engagement. (Provided your understanding/presentation of the situation is accurate - not accusing you of deliberately lying about it or anything, just saying I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of their relationship.) Trying to dictate who she can hang out with, virtually or otherwise, is a giant red flag. I wouldn't put too much blame on June, because this is the kind of lowkey abusive behavior that our society normalizes and romanticizes the hell out of. Ideally she would stand up to him, but that's the kind of socialization that's often hard to break. The only thing not textbook about this compared to similar situations cornerstone to just about every romcom ever is that the genders are swapped from the typical script.

Like... if you do want to continue communicating off the main channel with June (perfectly reasonable!), while humoring Frank to keep the peace, I guess ask him if setting up a 3-way DM between the three of you (with the understanding that it's the "where I can see it" solution to not make the main chat awkward, not a chat where he's supposed to be an active participant) would be sufficient to alleviate his insecurities.

Or be snarkily passive-aggressive by asking June in the group chat whether she thinks [item] would be a good Christmas/birthday gift for Frank.

What I think happened is that he said something that sounded right to her and she ran with it not questioning a thing because she loves him. He's hardheaded but hes not violent or someone that plots. I think he's just...stupid and she didnt think to oppose it.

And yeah. We glamorize this angle of control a lot and dont extrapolate what these little decisions mean going forward. I'd get if I made her uncomfortable with inappropriate comments but he made it clear that wasnt the case.

 

[Deleted member 160939]

Apparently both power steering hoses and wherever they hook into the steering wheel were suffering a slow leak. So... my guess is this took 8 hours because they had to dig pretty far back.


This... didn't get done at a dealership.

This had to be dragged to a Pep Boys (as stated before, this was not my decision) because not only did the actual dealership not actually uphold the original appointment (as stated earlier, they agreed to a 9am appointment but didn't do any work by 4pm)... the dealership tried to blame it on the transmission, not the power steering like we'd extensively tested.

It would have been more expensive if the dealer had conned us into that one.

Needless to say, the dealer will not get a penny of my business from this point. I will need to do research on dealerships in the future.


Unfortunately, due to my own paranoia and the fact that I do not do well in tight spaces, doing my own car repair work is probably never going to be a thing even if I didn't need my own scan tools.

If it was me I would of charged a flat rate for the job. Not all shops are honest. I try to do all the work myself.

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

Apparently both power steering hoses and wherever they hook into the steering wheel were suffering a slow leak. So... my guess is this took 8 hours because they had to dig pretty far back.


This... didn't get done at a dealership.

This had to be dragged to a Pep Boys (as stated before, this was not my decision) because not only did the actual dealership not actually uphold the original appointment (as stated earlier, they agreed to a 9am appointment but didn't do any work by 4pm)... the dealership tried to blame it on the transmission, not the power steering like we'd extensively tested.

It would have been more expensive if the dealer had conned us into that one.

Needless to say, the dealer will not get a penny of my business from this point. I will need to do research on dealerships in the future.


Unfortunately, due to my own paranoia and the fact that I do not do well in tight spaces, doing my own car repair work is probably never going to be a thing even if I didn't need my own scan tools.

That price, $500 USD was for a reman'd rack, $200, reman'd pump, $200, both hoses new, $100. When I still worked on cars for a living, we charged $100 per hr. for this type of work. So, total at my shop would have been about $900 total damages, done in half a day once we had parts. I actually looked up this repair and I don't see where they took all that time to fix it. On a lift, everything is right in your face, literally. The hardest part is hooking up the new lines, as they usually try to throw a fit upon installation.

Anyway, glad to hear you're back on the road again. Just stop taking your stuff to Pep Boys. Those guys are scam artists.

 

[Fallowfox]

Call tel:800-772-1213 (social security administration hotline) and they should walk you through it. It is generally going to be it's own building or near a court. If they can't help, then go to irs.gov and use their interactive link. It's quick. It's frustrating DHS and USCIS aren't helpful unless you find the right people.

Most places publish online. Americans usually mix trash anyway.

Large cap is usually safe if you don't know.

I don't think anyone doesn't envy you that.

Yeah, it's a busy two to three weeks.

It's the IRS taxpayer ID.

Don't try doing it all in a vacuum. Reach out if you have problems. I check here twice daily usually, unless I'm off.

Edit: joy of immigrant wife. Lol, don't be gay, sparky.

I have to wait for various digital systems to be administered by my employer before I can get letters attesting my right to be here to the social security office.
I found where the SSA office is though for my town, and arranged to walk-in when I get the documents.

So I am moving forward. ;D

I also rode the bus today, even though my employee ID got rejected by the machine because the system hasn't had long enough to have it recognised.

 

[Minerva_Minx]

I have to wait for various digital systems to be administered by my employer before I can get letters attesting my right to be here to the social security office.
I found where the SSA office is though for my town, and arranged to walk-in when I get the documents.

So I am moving forward. ;D

I also rode the bus today, even though my employee ID got rejected by the machine because the system hasn't had long enough to have it recognised.

Grats!

 

[Lyrule]

I'm getting worried for a friend of mine who just went completely silent for weeks now, since 20 sep, without a single word.

On FA he went by https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ruki-the-zorua/ , https://www.furaffinity.net/user/tsushako-the-mew/ , and most recently on FAF he was @The Spirit Guardian , but he left both sites, months ago.

Hate it when you don't know what's going on and there's no way to contact them.

Correct me if I'm wrong but this person appears to be a minor(?). With that said, it's likely things IRL have come up and they cannot commit to the internet, especially if they're a minor things like school etc take priority, especially if it was a massive distraction for them.

I feel you on being worried, but sometimes things happen that are out of our control.

Who knows though, when they're old enough and ready perhaps they'll come back.

 

[Judge Spear]

I've been barred from talking to someone within my personal friend group.

I know that immediately sounds bad on my part and theres a bit of a point to that. Let me explain...

Spoiler: Details

I have a fairly tight knit personal circle of people I've known for 10+ years. We went to school together. One of them, we'll just call Frank, started dating someone who we'll call June about 3 years ago. They live together now, plan to get married, have two gorgeous dogs together, and actively push each other to do better.

They did not follow the usual couples trend of "you have your friends, I have mine".
Frank made an express effort to integrate June in our group. She plays games with us. She's in my Discord server. We invite them both to gatherings. Etc. Doing as friends do.

When she first started talking with us, she was naturally nervous and wary of how to interact with new people. Formal, stuffy, skittish. So I took it upon myself to extend a friendly hand and just be amicable towards her to break the ice. I figured in her being comfortable around me it would inspire everyone else to be the same. Thats how I've known friendships to work.
For the last year, I would just chat with her the same way I would the rest of my friends. Exactly the same way. Send her stupid memes, video game bullshit, ask if shes hanging out with us on specific dates etc. I helped her plan Frank's 30th birthday.
No romantic messages. None at weird times. No "good mornings". No "good nights". Nothing that could be considered a pet name. Kept it strictly casual exactly how I'd message anyone.
And one day she came to me with a concern that I think let her be a little more comfortable around us.

June was worried in the unfortunate event Frank and her split, would she be "banished" (lol) from my group. She doesnt want to be seen as a tag along or some extension of Frank. Even making mention no one else was really talking to her. It's something I had actually thought of myself which is why I tried to simply speak to her more just through Discord DM's. Thats how I know to make friendships, one on one talking. So she had at least someone besides Frank in this group (he wanted her to be part of) show that her company is appreciated.

I made it clear that there are certain things we are inherently careful of because A) shes a girl B) shes *someone's* girl. We dont want to cross boundaries, so that bond at our age might build a little slower. We had a long talk about it and I think we both felt a bit more at ease that day. This was weeks ago.

This past Friday, we're in voice chat and theres a moment Frank are alone chatting. I bring up a funny conversation June and I had with him. It was nothing pressing at all. Just some goofy shit I thought he'd get a chuckle from and maybe bounce back with something. We continue to talk about Yugioh and other shit and then go to bed in like an hour.

I wake up and the first notification I see at 7 AM "Frank said we can't talk privately anymore. After talking to him about it last night, I get his perspective. It is kind of weird."

What?

So I go to Frank. I tell him I'm not gonna combat him but that it stings a bit he couldnt have just talked to me the night before about this if he had reservations. I also confidently gave him full permission to go through our messages to see theres no foul play. He would even find messages where I emphatically state I'm not trying to generate friction.
He told me its not about the content. It's that I talk to her in a one on one environment at all. "Nothing needs to be said in private." (Including his birthday party he didnt know I was integral to organizing I guess)
So he has a conversation with June about me where I dont know what was said that I could defend against. And he convinced June in what could have only been 1 or 2 hours to second guess my intentions and totally stop talking to me after a year of doing so.

"If you wanna talk to her on Discord, you can just do it in the main chat where I can see it."

WHAT?

So if I want to talk to June, I have to now talk to her in front of everyone else in the server. Ok fine. But, if I want her attention to do that, I would have to repeatedly tag her. I dont do that with anybody when I want to talk about something with just one person. I go to their DM's. NO ONE operates like this. And I'm not going to start with *someones girlfriend* because how does that look?

"@June! Hey @June! Yo @June! @June I got something for you to see! @June you little shit! @June [GiancarloEspositoglare.jpg]"

This singles her out and looks weirder than just using the faculties that allow for simple talking. I dont talk in DM'S to hide from Frank. Its *DIRECT*, unbroken chains of discussion that are convenient for everyone.

So is June not allowed to speak with anyone in the group like I was? Is it insecurity or do you not trust anyone you've known for 12-15 years? More pressing, do you not trust your girlfriend's loyalty? Is it just ME you dont want talking her? If so why am I a threat? Wheres the line actually drawn for interacting with her? If I'm at your place and you're in another room, can I talk to June or do I need to wait?

Do you see how "Judge Spear cant talk to June anymore" looks SO incredibly shitty and how this makes NO sense?

That comes to light and everyone is going to instantly assume I attempted to put moves on someone's SO which was not the case. This is so stressful, needless, and frustrating. I have never been put in this position before and it pulls up all manner of harmful ramifications and implications.

I've known this motherfucker for 12 years. I have never given a reason to think I'm some homewrecker. But if he tries to spin it that way, I'm raining blinding hellfire on him to vindicate myself. Because if June wants to immediately think the worst of my interactions, the friendship wasnt worth establishing. Whatever. But you will not make me look like a creep to my longest friends. Fuck that.

It gets fucking worse.

I've been avoiding Frank for obvious reasons this past week.
He surprisingly took notice. So once again, rather than come to me, Frank decides to go to someone else to discuss ME. This time, confiding in my *closest friend*. Frank tells him why he thinks (correctly) I'm avoiding him. What he told my friend pissed him off after they were done talking. I can't even really repackage everything for this post. It's pure insanity.

The big take away is that both Frank and June have been "experimenting" and trying to set little traps for me since April.
Me trying to be friendly to a new person in our group was a red flag SOMEHOW. So they wanted to connive, and prod, and lay trap cards face down. Eny message she came to *me* with was an orchestrated attempt between the both of them to get me to slip up somehow. Including, and mainly the conversation about her feeling like a tag along.

All bait.

Frank and June don't trust me purely because I messaged her a few days out of the week. They have been playing games with me for 7 months, monitoring me like a test subject, setting little pieces of cheese in a maze. All to try and prove that I'm attracted to his girlfriend. June wants to say me just talking to her was weird but not ONCE was there an attempt at pushback. You're responding positively to me and engaging me in what I'm talking about. Laughing, joking, meeting me at my style of humor. All the while plotting like a goddamn spy.
Frank wanted to squeeze blood from a stone and find insane conclusions from messages like "do you play hero shooters", a list of game suggestions, and a fucking photo of a squirrel that I sent to multiple people.
Additionally, he tried to pull the wool over my BEST friend. Frank wanted him to take his side by skewing the order of events. Events my friend was aware of unbeknownst to Frank.

 

[Minerva_Minx]

It gets fucking worse.

I've been avoiding Frank for obvious reasons this past week.
He surprisingly took notice. So once again, rather than come to me, Frank decides to go to someone else to discuss ME. This time, confiding in my *closest friend*. Frank tells him why he thinks (correctly) I'm avoiding him. What he told my friend pissed him off after they were done talking. I can't even really repackage everything for this post. It's pure insanity.

The big take away is that both Frank and June have been "experimenting" and trying to set little traps for me since April.
Me trying to be friendly to a new person in our group was a red flag SOMEHOW. So they wanted to connive, and prod, and lay trap cards face down. Eny message she came to *me* with was an orchestrated attempt between the both of them to get me to slip up somehow. Including, and mainly the conversation about her feeling like a tag along.

All bait.

Frank and June don't trust me purely because I messaged her a few days out of the week. They have been playing games with me for 7 months, monitoring me like a test subject, setting little pieces of cheese in a maze. All to try and prove that I'm attracted to his girlfriend. June wants to say me just talking to her was weird but not ONCE was there an attempt at pushback. You're responding positively to me and engaging me in what I'm talking about. Laughing, joking, meeting me at my style of humor. All the while plotting like a goddamn spy.
Frank wanted to squeeze blood from a stone and find insane conclusions from messages like "do you play hero shooters", a list of game suggestions, and a fucking photo of a squirrel that I sent to multiple people.
Additionally, he tried to pull the wool over my BEST friend. Frank wanted him to take his side by skewing the order of events. Events my friend was aware of unbeknownst to Frank.

Your friend is toxic and not a friend. This happens in the professional world as well. Never fun.

Sorry this has happened to you, but not everyone is like this.

 

[Luxibutt]

It gets fucking worse.

I've been avoiding Frank for obvious reasons this past week.
He surprisingly took notice. So once again, rather than come to me, Frank decides to go to someone else to discuss ME. This time, confiding in my *closest friend*. Frank tells him why he thinks (correctly) I'm avoiding him. What he told my friend pissed him off after they were done talking. I can't even really repackage everything for this post. It's pure insanity.

The big take away is that both Frank and June have been "experimenting" and trying to set little traps for me since April.
Me trying to be friendly to a new person in our group was a red flag SOMEHOW. So they wanted to connive, and prod, and lay trap cards face down. Eny message she came to *me* with was an orchestrated attempt between the both of them to get me to slip up somehow. Including, and mainly the conversation about her feeling like a tag along.

All bait.

Frank and June don't trust me purely because I messaged her a few days out of the week. They have been playing games with me for 7 months, monitoring me like a test subject, setting little pieces of cheese in a maze. All to try and prove that I'm attracted to his girlfriend. June wants to say me just talking to her was weird but not ONCE was there an attempt at pushback. You're responding positively to me and engaging me in what I'm talking about. Laughing, joking, meeting me at my style of humor. All the while plotting like a goddamn spy.
Frank wanted to squeeze blood from a stone and find insane conclusions from messages like "do you play hero shooters", a list of game suggestions, and a fucking photo of a squirrel that I sent to multiple people.
Additionally, he tried to pull the wool over my BEST friend. Frank wanted him to take his side by skewing the order of events. Events my friend was aware of unbeknownst to Frank.

UM. WHAT THE HELL.

These people are hella crazy. Like, it's troubling that they planned and did this for months. Why the hell did they do that? What is the benefit of all of this? I don't see their endgame. It's childish and very bad behavior. You wanted to be friendly. What the hell is wrong with that? Did they expect you to be a dick to them? And since you weren't, they made this childish mission to make you look bad and for what? I just don't understand what games they are playing. You clearly don't have these "feelings" for his girlfriend. So why did they even do this? I'm just confused on what they want to prove. Did they just not like you and they wanted to make your friend group not like you because you were supposedly "attracted" to Frank's girlfriend? I'm just at a loss of these events. Like, if they didn't like you, they should come forward like normal ass people and say it instead of playing this childish game. But obviously they aren't normal people. It's honestly pathetic what they are doing. At least your friend is aware of what is going on so you have someone on your side to try and figure what what is, once again, their endgame.

 

[TyraWadman]

It gets fucking worse.

I've been avoiding Frank for obvious reasons this past week.
He surprisingly took notice. So once again, rather than come to me, Frank decides to go to someone else to discuss ME. This time, confiding in my *closest friend*. Frank tells him why he thinks (correctly) I'm avoiding him. What he told my friend pissed him off after they were done talking. I can't even really repackage everything for this post. It's pure insanity.

The big take away is that both Frank and June have been "experimenting" and trying to set little traps for me since April.
Me trying to be friendly to a new person in our group was a red flag SOMEHOW. So they wanted to connive, and prod, and lay trap cards face down. Eny message she came to *me* with was an orchestrated attempt between the both of them to get me to slip up somehow. Including, and mainly the conversation about her feeling like a tag along.

All bait.

Frank and June don't trust me purely because I messaged her a few days out of the week. They have been playing games with me for 7 months, monitoring me like a test subject, setting little pieces of cheese in a maze. All to try and prove that I'm attracted to his girlfriend. June wants to say me just talking to her was weird but not ONCE was there an attempt at pushback. You're responding positively to me and engaging me in what I'm talking about. Laughing, joking, meeting me at my style of humor. All the while plotting like a goddamn spy.
Frank wanted to squeeze blood from a stone and find insane conclusions from messages like "do you play hero shooters", a list of game suggestions, and a fucking photo of a squirrel that I sent to multiple people.
Additionally, he tried to pull the wool over my BEST friend. Frank wanted him to take his side by skewing the order of events. Events my friend was aware of unbeknownst to Frank.

Who wants to bet someone orchestrated this because they're jellyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
"He doesn't talk to me like that so they must obviously like you!!!"

I'm sorry you had to deal with these manipulative morons.

 

[RamblingRenegade]

A couple of months ago I ordered a partial from a maker. I was quoted 6-8 weeks for completion. They said they had to order fur so it might be a couple weeks..ok cool. I was told that they would let me know when it came in. They were very polite and I made sure I ordered from someone with good reviews and good feedback. Three weeks later I nicely asked for an update to which I was told something came up thanks for being patient will get back to you ASAP. Three more weeks later I asked nicely for another update and they dodged any questions about the partial but answered general chat quickly. I messaged them a 3rd time yesterday which was 2 more weeks so 8 now, and I was told shipment is coming in today give us a week and we'll tell you if your fur came in. So 9 weeks and they haven't started it.. estimate on their page is now in January and it's October after I've waited the 8 weeks already. I don't want to get mad but I kinda am. Sorry for the novel

 

[Minerva_Minx]

When you submit an IT trouble ticket as an admin for the clown client support tech (person who routes said ticket) to look at the system affected and then route the trouble ticket back to you without reading the ticket. #fml

I have never wished so hard to truly be my fursona so I could chew on this moron as a warning. Since it is Halloween, I can't think of a more terrifying sight. As it is, I can only put in:
As the admin on system x requesting system x support, of the five times you have sent this ticket to me only for me to send it back requesting higher level support, what makes you think I can solve my own problem? Not to mention why would I submit a ticket for something I could handle in the first place?