TrixieFox
Blood Rose Faction Leader
also school be like "Justice = conforming to Gods law"
Vent Thread
- Thread starter WithMyBearHands
- Start date
Frank Gulotta
Send us your floppy
I'm hug-deprived and it's only been a week
TyraWadman
The Brutally Honest Man-Child
I feel like I forgot to do something like turn in an assignment. I hate it. I'm literally working, eating and sleeping now.
Stop it, brain!!
Stop it, brain!!
I'm not wrong.Damn, you're soooo boring.
Fritzy525
Member
I wanna fucking scream.
The one relationship that I've been in for over 2 years now just ended. The worst part about it is, none of it matters anymore. I guess I was quite a fool to actually believe that I could be loved. And it's so fucking great how, I can't talk to anyone about this because of how little it probably matters. I thought that he was really the one. He was just... so kind, and funny. And so...... BEAUTIFUL. It doesn't matter, though. It's not anything I haven't dealt with before. If anything, I'll be just fucking fine. Besides, it's not like I actually was meant to be loved by someone. And it's so goddamn obvious that in 2 days from now, he probably won't even care at all. I won't either. So, it's all perfectly good.
I hate myself. I hate myself. I was actually the one who broke up with him. I'm a fucking asshole. He was so sweet, and I just ruined his life. I used to amke him happy, but I can't believe that I used to think that I shopuld break up with him bec uase of how I felt. A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO GO BOTH WAYS. I JUST FUCKIN G RUINED EVERYTHING AGAIN LIKE I ALWAYS DO GOLD GFUCKING DAMNM IT
I'm literally sobbing. I feel empty. Nobody cares about me.
I'm sorry. Maybe I should have deleted this. Whatever.
The one relationship that I've been in for over 2 years now just ended. The worst part about it is, none of it matters anymore. I guess I was quite a fool to actually believe that I could be loved. And it's so fucking great how, I can't talk to anyone about this because of how little it probably matters. I thought that he was really the one. He was just... so kind, and funny. And so...... BEAUTIFUL. It doesn't matter, though. It's not anything I haven't dealt with before. If anything, I'll be just fucking fine. Besides, it's not like I actually was meant to be loved by someone. And it's so goddamn obvious that in 2 days from now, he probably won't even care at all. I won't either. So, it's all perfectly good.
I hate myself. I hate myself. I was actually the one who broke up with him. I'm a fucking asshole. He was so sweet, and I just ruined his life. I used to amke him happy, but I can't believe that I used to think that I shopuld break up with him bec uase of how I felt. A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO GO BOTH WAYS. I JUST FUCKIN G RUINED EVERYTHING AGAIN LIKE I ALWAYS DO GOLD GFUCKING DAMNM IT
I'm literally sobbing. I feel empty. Nobody cares about me.
I'm sorry. Maybe I should have deleted this. Whatever.
You're 17. You've probably just started the relationship game. This is more common at your age than you realize. Your brain hasn't really caught up to the rest of you yet, you will be prone to rashness and emotionality, and sometimes you learn things by making mistakes. Maybe it WASN'T a mistake. No point in beating yourself up over it. Learn from the experience, it's part of maturing. Take a moment and ground yourself with the knowledge that you're not even to the big leagues yet, you have time to develop yourself and once the emotional turmoil subsides you'll be able to look back at this with a clearer head.
Kellan Meig'h
Kilted Luthier
There is a black cat that's decided to hang out in my basement. Not sure how they got in. BTW, I don't have a black cat.
TyraWadman
The Brutally Honest Man-Child
I know it's easier said than done, but don't tell yourself this. Your body clings to it a lot harder than you think, and it can be a chore to undo later on in life.
I don't know the full story of your relationship or even why it ended the way it did, but even if you were truly at fault, this feeling isn't forever. Cry about it, get it out of your system, but think long and hard as to why you ended it.
Clearly something was wrong, right? Maybe he wasn't making you happy and you were just trying to convince yourself he was. Maybe you're like me and feel like garbage for breaking up (even if it was justified and they were abusive, it can still feel sad). Maybe he was a pooface that deserves to be a single pringle!
Or maybe this is just the character arc where you spend more time learning about yourself and what it is you actually want/need in a relationship! It's definitely far from the end. Cry, rest up and get back in the saddle when you're ready again!
Mambi
Fun loving kitty cat
...sorry, this is the vent thread. You want the thread "tell me something good that happened today". <laugh>
Baron Tredegar
Master of Forgotten Lore
Kellan Meig'h
Kilted Luthier
@Mambi - this is a vent! A bit of backstory; when we moved to Indiana from The Peoples Republik of Kalifornistan in 2018 We brought Bobbie T. Katt (her full name) with us by car. She was old, 17, and while she made the move, she passed on a few months later. I was her person so ergo, I was heartbroken. My daughters conspired to bring two female kittens into the house, Sabrina (black and white tuxedo kitty) and Mischa (solid white) to cheer me up.
Well, yeah, they helped me through the loss but a little over a year later, Phantom (a white and black tuxedo tom) started hanging out around our house. He was literally starving but we took pity on him and fed him. He fattened up, returned to good health in time but hey, the cold Indiana weather was coming right around the corner and he obviously had no actual home. Well, we took him in and started a land war with the girls. They hate his guts. His place is under an end table in the living room. Yeah.
So, we have no clue if this black cat is male or female and we also don't want to escalate the land war any further. We have to get the cat out of the basement because they can't live there and we can't take it in, despite the fact it would complete the set - one white cat, one black and white cat, one white and black cat (Phantom) and the basement cat would be a solid black cat. We also have to find shelter that's a "No Kill" shelter for this cat if it doesn't have a chip/owner. So, that's why it's a vent.
tl;dr
cute cat, can't keep it.
RamblingRenegade
Just a Horse Trying to Avoid Life's Manure
@Kellan Meig'h I can't believe you like Indiana, I can't stand it..LOL
This was a weird day for random phone calls. I got 2 random phone calls and messages from my ex whom I haven't spoken to in 2+ months, sorry I don't want you back. And I had someone from work ask me out last week, then then in turn blew me off 3x on times they set, then didn't call me twice, and when I asked what was wrong all communication stopped. Fine oh well, no big deal we never even went on a date. 4 days later today I'm getting hey Baby miss you, can't wait to see you again texts... UMM I'm not doing crazy either thanks...We have never met outside of work, I'm not your baby yet.. ha ha
This was a weird day for random phone calls. I got 2 random phone calls and messages from my ex whom I haven't spoken to in 2+ months, sorry I don't want you back. And I had someone from work ask me out last week, then then in turn blew me off 3x on times they set, then didn't call me twice, and when I asked what was wrong all communication stopped. Fine oh well, no big deal we never even went on a date. 4 days later today I'm getting hey Baby miss you, can't wait to see you again texts... UMM I'm not doing crazy either thanks...We have never met outside of work, I'm not your baby yet.. ha ha
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
I hate the feeling of Groundhog Day.
Don't be like me and forget self care. Honestly, I'm terrible at work life balance.
Kellan Meig'h
Kilted Luthier
Well, I lived almost my entire life in Cali, with the exception of my military service and a short stint working for Oklahoma Gas and Electric. California, or as it should be called, The Peoples Republik of Kalifornistan, is not a place to be. Any place within 200 miles of Sunnyvale, the OG Silicon Valley, is to be considered part of the Silicon Valley. As such, stupidly high rents and housing prices. If you want to look it up, Chowchilla, California is being touted as a short commute to the Valley. That's 124 miles my friend. Short commute? That's about three hours on a good day.
We lived in Fremont, CA - we were also a minority in a changing demographic region. Our rent was $2,050 USD per month (and going up each year) for a 894 sq ft 2 bed, 1 bath apartment, a dive if you will. Right around the corner, less than a block away was Crime Central, aka Central Avenue. Gunshots every night, without fail. Groceries were stupidly high compared to Indiana, as was anything else. You had to have a smog check on your vehicle every two years. Gas and electric were high. Still are higher than here. It was a great place growing up but the San Francisco Bay Area is just a shit hole now, taken over by drugs, gangs and the homeless.
And not to say our little slice of life in Small Town, Indiana is any better. We have the gunshots at night, the homeless but they stay in camps along the White river, drug overdoses and such. City hall has a vending machine to get free doses of Narcan with a little kit that has instructions on how to administer it. The upside is we own our home outright, no mortgage. That cash that would have went to rent now goes into the bank. Utilities, groceries and gas are still cheaper here than Cali. When I wear my Veteran hat, people thank me for my service. Never heard that in Cali.
It's not ideal but my daughters, my son-in-law and grandkids live here so that makes up for any shortcomings.
And just so this is a vent, I don't like snow. Do not like shoveling it. Don't like removing it from my vehicles. Do not in any way, shape or form enjoy putting down snow melt. So screw snow shoveling, I'm going to get a propane weed torch. Might make the sidewalk clearing go easier. Or a snow blower. Fuck winter in general. More snow is coming and I'm not looking forward to it.
Firuthi Dragovic
World Serpent, overly defensive
Good thing about finally moving out of my parent's house (still just the house next door, mind) is I can actually work on my health without others' ideas of "healthy" cluttering it up.
Went to the doctor's and had bloodwork done today. I won't go into too many details, but I will comment that my glucose still holds around 90 - how it holds there with the amount of candy I still eat, I have no clue. I have some mineral deficiencies (including sodium, somehow) but they've been something of a running theme with me.
Went to the doctor's and had bloodwork done today. I won't go into too many details, but I will comment that my glucose still holds around 90 - how it holds there with the amount of candy I still eat, I have no clue. I have some mineral deficiencies (including sodium, somehow) but they've been something of a running theme with me.
Woozle
Honey, you should see me in a crown.
I keep having nightmares about being raped. I was wrongfully arrested while having a meltdown a few months ago and taken to court. I was given an absolute discharge (basically, the court decided that the police had been in the wrong) but the damage has been done. I wake up every morning with my heart pounding hard and fast. I can't always remember the nightmares but I *feel* them. I can't go on like this.
D
Deleted member 160111
Guest
I don't always have dreams, but if I do, someone is always chasing me. They always want to kill me or cause some kind of harm.
Once the nightmare was so real that I remembered it, and even wrote it down (3 page). I woke up and tears were streaming from my eyes. I was terrified. I think it was a hallucination. The hallucination on the borderline of sleep and wakefulness, but it was terrible.
RamblingRenegade
Just a Horse Trying to Avoid Life's Manure
I've had a couple of life events that have triggered nightmares, and required therapy to get over, they still get me sometimes
TyraWadman
The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Same with the chase dreams. Whenever I beg people for help in the dream, they just look at me like I'm a crazy nuisance and carry on with their day.
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
A couple of houses down from me is back to being frat house now, so I am expecting more police and DUIs in the neighborhood. sometimes being near a university sucks.
Hopefully not me. I'll help and be a crazy nuisance!
Rape is a trauma. After that experience I can understand.
Baron Tredegar
Master of Forgotten Lore
I dont have that many nightmares but when I was younger I would have a few terrifying nightmares about the rapture.
I live in Georgia which means winters for me are cold and raining. Winter down here sucks.
Woozle
Honey, you should see me in a crown.
I'm not sure if you understood me, but I wasn't actually raped. In the month and a half waiting to go to magistrate court I had vivid nightmares about prison rape. I've never been to prison and I was so terrified of what it would be like. I was so sure that the worst would happen.
quoting_mungo
Well-Known Member
Winter (or late fall) sucks. Have to wear extra clothes indoors and my hands get cold. It’s not quite cold enough yet to make my fingers hurt, but that’ll be coming.