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Weird dumb shit you've heard people say.

Red_Lion _

Member
My mom dropped this beauty on me this morning: "I think people who like coffee are more grown up and mature than people who don't." She wasn't even joking, this was delivered as though it were some kind of insightful observation about human behavioral patterns.

Where did that even come from. Is coffee like some magical, grown-up beverage that signifies age and wisdom? If so I don't think it works, I've been drinking the stuff for years and just yesterday I stole my dad's fart piano and spent an hour watching cartoons. I also still think butts are funny, poop is hilarious and sometimes refuse to put pants on when I go to the gas station. Clearly as a coffee drinker I am a more noble and evolved entity than my non coffee consuming brethren!

She has also said "Women who wear open toed shoes without nail polish on their toes are trashy. Toenail polish adds some class"

I think that one speaks for itself. I mean really how can I argue with such words of wisdom. I wasn't aware that you could judge how classy or unclassy a lady was by looking at her feet. Sandals without nail paint? GASP! How dare you not paint your feet you shameless harlot!

But if you wear those ugly, plastic, dollar store flip-flops with a coat of neon orange paint on your six inch foot talons then of course you're classy. The very picture of class.

Have you guys ever heard someone say something that was kind of weird or really stupid? What was your reaction when you heard these things?
 

LazerMaster5

Lost in the Static
My uncle Wes thinks KFC uses mutant chickens with 6 breasts and no feathers. He even showed me a picture that seems fake.
 
A

Amiir

Guest
Lion, are you absolutely 100% sure she was not joking?

I hear plenty of dumb shit but I just facepalm and forget. It's just dumb shit: it shouldn't be given any weight and is totally undeserving of any attention whatsoever.
There are times however that I forget this and get involved in dumb shit anyways
 
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Volkodav

Dad****er
"It's healthy for a dog to have at least one litter of puppies" -- my sister's dumbass friend whose dog may be pregnant

Lion, are you absolutely 100% sure she was not joking?

I hear plenty of dumb shit but I just facepalm and forget. It's just dumb shit: it shouldn't be given any weight and is totally undeserving of any attention whatsoever.
There are times however that I forget this and get involved in dumb shit anyways

^This^
I can and do say complete bullshit things with a perfectly straight face to confuse people and make them angrily correct me, because it makes me laugh
I've been called "deadpan" and I'm sure this helps.

I bet I'd be great at poker
 
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Red_Lion _

Member
Lion, are you absolutely 100% sure she was not joking?

I hear plenty of dumb shit but I just facepalm and forget. It's just dumb shit: it shouldn't be given any weight and is totally undeserving of any attention whatsoever

yup, 100%. She almost never jokes. And she has made comments that one of my female friends should polish her toenails on more than one occasion. I think it's hilarious my mom thinks this way and I often wonder how she comes to such weird conclusions about people.
 

Inpw

Roller Coaster Imagineer.
I'll go to heaven when I die.

The earth is flat.

Furries are good people.

etc...
 

Bonobosoph

4 hands good 2 hands bad ;)
I work in a zoo, I hear an endless stream of dumb shit on a weekly basis.
No that's a lemur not a skunk READ THE DAMN SIGNS.
 

Senpai-Fish

Nature's Glowstick
"I didn't know you had to water your plants." - Spoken by one of my mother's friends. Lady legitimately had no idea why her flowers kept dying, and why none of her vegetable plants would sprout.
 
I had a girlfriend who thought The Pentagon was a square.
 
F

foussiremix

Guest
humans are made of stardust. That said my school friend when he read that in internet

WTF.

we are made of atoms.
If we would be stardust we would burn
 
P

Phoenix-Kat

Guest
That people with borderline personality disorder should never be told they have borderline personality disorder because aparently they can't handle the fact they do have it.
That in order to enter college you have to take an IQ test.
That if someone has an IQ test as a child and another as an adult the results will be the same.
That there are no mountains in the state of Ohio. (from a teacher too)
That one can aparently bypass college when applying for vet school if they have had formal vet tech training.
 

Jabberwocky

bitch where
"I'M WHITE AND I WAS OPRESSED! PEOPLE WERE RACIST TOWARD ME BECAUSE THEY WERE JEALOUS OF MY BLUE EYES AND BLONDE HAIR"

seriously I wanted to fling this person into the largest shark pool.
 

Alexxx-Returns

The Sergal that Didn't Vore
About 80% of stuff my dad says. Here is a good one.

"Don't post pictures online that have you in them - someone will take your head and Photoshop it onto a naked body".
 

Misomie

Lazy Artist
Whenever I hear people talk about being the alpha over their dog. Even if dogs did use that mentality themselves, they know you aren't a dog so acting like you are one is dumb.
 

Sylox

boi...chill out!
I've heard the following statements/questions:

"When did New England become a state?"
"Black people's DNA is why they love fried chicken."
"The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Greece."
"Rome is in Greece."
"Greece changed its name to honor the movie Grease."
"You're a furry, so why do you fuck animals?"
"Why do you bronies wanna fuck a horse?"
"Delaware is in Virginia."
"9/11 was an inside job."
"You sound so smart and articulate. I wish more of your people were like you."
"There have been 44 Presidents, but 49 Superbowls. I didn't know the NFL was older than America!!!"
"You can definitely cross bread a cat and a dog. They had a show on TV that proved it."
"My son may be a queer, but he's gonna get that pussy."
"You can't get Aids if you fuck a guy with HIV."
"I want to buy a Cleveland Steamer for the house. We need a new vacuum anyway."
"Can I add 5 times 5?"(my personal favorite)
 

LazerMaster5

Lost in the Static
How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't?
 

Torrijos-sama

The Artist Formerly Known as Jesusfish
Europe and Africa are countries.

Your vote counts.

The news is fact. That's why it is news.

The National Enquirer is true.

The English are culturally superior to everything.

Canada has a king. Also, Canada is a republic.

America is owned by Jews or China.

Obama isn't American/Christian/Black/Human.

George Bush doesn't care about Black people.

Obama doesn't care about White people.

Jimmy Carter wasn't president.

Jimmy Carter was a good president.

Jimmy Carter wasn't Democrat because he had a southern accent.

Lyndon B. Johnson wasn't racist enough to be from the South.

Bill Clinton wasn't racist enough to be from Arkansas.

JFK getting credit for everything LBJ did.

America includes (according to various people): Canada, Cuba, most of Mexico, Bermuda, the Bahamas, Brazil, Rhodesia, New Zealand, Fiji, Greenland, Iceland.

America owns: Iraq, Afghanistan, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Belgium, the Dutch, Japan, the Phillipines, Chile, Guatemala, Panama, Costa Rica, Alberta, Yukon, Ontario, Quebec, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, Portugal, Nicaragua, Easter Islands, Liberia, Sudan, India, Pakistan, New Zealand, Australia, the Falkland Islands.

Canada includes Alaska, Oregon, Vermont, Maine, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Rhode Island.

Texas is a country.

Texas was never a country at some point.

Texas owned Mexico.

Mexico owns Texas.

And the phrase "When the Indians came into this country" in regards to Native Americans.
 
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