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What are the events in your life that shaped who you are today? (Or lack thereof)

benignBiotic

Banned
Banned
The person whose probably effected me most outside of my immediate family is my best friend Ian. We met in college and were fast friends. At the time I was beginning to take an interest in animals which also drove me to become a Bio major. Anyway Ian had been a vegetarian his whole life and is very, VERY au natural. I don't think I've ever met someone as gentle and kind as him. His outlook on life is so pure and good that it really affected me.

Because of him I became a vegetarian and learned to really appreciate nature. He had a huge influence on my sense of humor. I love the man.
 

Thou Dog

Active Member
I don't think "au natural" is the phrase you're looking for... Doesn't that mean "naked"?
 

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
The birth of my sister, when I was small, because caring for a disabled person has changed my family's life significantly.
Becoming Vege/Pescetarian after visitng a Farm to see how it's done. ~around 10
Becoming christian aged 10
Subsequently abandoning religion all together in favour of scientific truths at age 13
Finding the furry and getting a girlfriend, both age 15.
Discovering I'm probably gay at age 17.
Offered a place at Oxford age 18.
 

Distorted

Active Member
I've lived in the heart of the South all my life. My life had taken the tempo of my surroundings, and I have grown accustomed to moving slowly. I was surrounded by church and old black people who hadn't moved on from the past. I was always told to not trust white people, because they were selfish, untrusting people. I would leave church afraid sometimes because of the threat of hell. I was to be good and obedient.

Back then, my mother worked all types of jobs while my dad worked in a warehouse. We were fine financially. But my mother wanted a lot more. She grew up in a poor and turbulent household and dreamed of living in luxury. My father was a simple man and came from a farm life. She would always push him towards bigger and "better" things. We moved a couple of times. It wasn't until much later that I found that we were in massive debut. My mother had maxed out credit cards splurging on unnecessary things. They pretended that we were fine, and borrowed money from our family behind closed doors. To make matters worse, both of my grandfathers died close around the same time.

School was always hard socially. I would do work easily, but I didn't think like my peers. They picked on me a lot and I became distant from people. I managed to make some friends, but they were always different from me. I didn't like what they liked and vice versa. My brother did a lot better than me. He has always had a temper, but he never got into the type of predicaments I got into.

As I got into highschool, I began having psychological problems. I became paranoid, delusional, and anxious all the time. I was having panic attacks all the time. My family dealt with my problem with prayer and told me read my Bible. But I started hating religion the more I read and prayed. I was getting worse and my hatred and fear began to take hold of me. In my deterioration, I noticed that I was more sensitive to other peoples feelings. It was painful to be around other people, especially emotional ones. I began to pace the halls at school, skip class, lash out at my friends and family. It wasn't until I was rushed to the hospital for collaspsing in the hall that I got profesional help. After getting juggled around from doctor to doctor, I was presented with a diagnosis of psychosis. It had seemed that I had inherited my grandfather's mind. He apparently had schizophrenia and terrorized my mother and her family back in the day.

My parents dismissed the diagnosis and we continued to "pray it away". But I had got a scholarship to my current university and used to the oppurtunity to escape my parents. They were making me worse and I wanted to leave desperately. But at college, I deteriorated even more. I began hearing voices and would walk out at night falling to the ground. I was convinced that the moon was stealing my soul, and that people were plotting to kill me as they passed me. I stayed in my room days at a time, and wouldn't come out unless I needed to. I began certain rituals to calm myself down sometimes, like chanting and walking in the rain. Someone was kind enough to point me to a counselor who helped me through my treatment. I was eventually diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia as my grandfather was, and was prescribed medication. The medication was a small dose, but it's effects were horrible. I felt like a zombie, and my mind was in a vice. The world was so colorless. I didn't hear the good voices anymore, and nothing had significance anymore. If it weren't for my counselor, I'm sure I would've offed myself by now.

That was two years ago. Now I'm doing better. I managed to get off my medication and I had to pick up the pieces again. I lost my scholarship in the process, but I'm still enrolled taking classes. When I sorta came to from my psychosis, I began finding things out about myself. Like my likes and dislikes, orientation, abilities. It was like I was reincarnated. Before I was just a product of my mother's wishes; I was obedient and stupid. But now I'm actually a person.

I'm not much of a person at this point I think. I've only just started to live. But I make it a goal to help people however I can. I think it's to attone for all the suffering I caused when I was sick. And so I don't end up like my parents. But there are times when I fall back into that funk, and it scares me. I don't ever want to go back to that point...

(Sorry for the wall of text. A lot on my mind.)
 

LogicfromLogic

I don't give two flying ****s
Not going to go deeper into description here but growing up without parents really taught me to be grateful for what I have compared to what I don't have. I wouldn't be me without all that has happened in my past, and I'm glad for it really. I've been diagnosed with cancer three times in my lifetime and that's really given me a reason never to take anything for granted, and I've learnt how to treat others better than how my biological parents treated me growing up. Because my mother was constantly calling me stupid, it prompted me to study hard in school and recently I've been accepted into multiple colleges thanks to my pushed grade point average. Thanks to my dad, I no longer use drugs. Mental disorders, physical issues, as well as many other things, I'd have learnt those lessons lightly knowing the kind of person I am and never taken them seriously if I hadn't been through them all. Not trying to put a sob story out there, I just love discussing things.
 
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Tyranny

Member
Lets see, born in SoCal, good parents, only child, father's lazy so mother makes up for it unintentionally spoiling me, almost died two times in a row, barfing blood and a traffic accident at age four, age seven diagnosed with OCD and tourettes, really more like mental rituals and I'm quite the opposite of a stereotypical neaty clean freak, been to 5 elementry, 3 middle and 2 high schools plus home school because of bullies and shitty fucked up teachers, age 13 diagnosed with aspergers etc. etc. etc. then pet died and had mental breakdown a few months later lasting for almost two years, Jan 2010-Oct 2011. I think I would be more independent, not completely but still, had I been educated properly, not just because of my disorders, and if things happened differently in general, I constantly worry about my future and stuff, but to ease my fears my half brother and his wife said they'll take over for my parents once they pass. Never had much friends, usually a couple at a time, but not for long until the next school and I don't really care, I mean I miss them but I'm used to that, think I covered it pretty well. Plus my brother and sister in law are the only family members that know I'm a furry, I even proposed going to califur 2013, didn't go but she said maybe next year.
 

F A N G

Member
The moment when the father of my former "best friend" broke up the friendship after an argument with him. Made me paranoid as hell, Gave me a lack of self-confidence and oh, not forgot the year i was suicidal because of the bastard.
 

Venu.Shade

I am the Night
honestly i dont know where to begin with all of my backstory BS....

i mean i grew up pretty blissfully ignorant of the world. my dad worked as a concrete truck driver and drove a racecar at a local short track and my mother worked as a school bus driver.

my sister and brother had a different father than me and scuttled off to Cali to live with him for a while after i turned 3 or 4... i barely saw them past an occasional visit so my only role model growing up was my next door neighbor.
my mother also lost her job and went on disability benefits after getting a knee replacement and a spinal fusion when i was 11... this is where things started getting hairy (for me anyway)

my mom started spiraling down into depression from there and was bent on seeing my father get dragged down with her kicking and screaming. She started abusing Pot and alcohol behind our backs, keeping it out of sight from me. My dad also hid everything as best he could so i wouldnt worry too much since i was only in middle school... she went into rehab and my dad managed to convince me it was for something other than drugs somehow...

she recovered but then my freshman year she tried to commit suicide by overdosing on medications while i was earning my Silver Award for Girl Scouts. I wouldn't have known if a friend hadnt texted me asking why there was an ambulance by my house.
My brother had stopped for a visit that easter and that helped me gt my mind off of things though since i hadnt seen him in 5 years almost and my mother was out of rehab and seeing a shrink.

My junior year though i found her passed out on the bed with a crack pipe by her and when my dad got home he called the cops and they carted her off in an ambulance. my grades plummeted and i washaving difficulties focusing on anything but my worries and concerns... i think this is when the first seeds were sewn for the depression ive been fighting recently. It hasnt been a fight to not say "its my fault" i know my moms issues werent my fault.. they were own that she couldnt overcome, many of which she actually told me and i dont feel it would be appropriate to share them.

My whole issue is how ignorant i have been and to this day still tend to be about the feelings and emotions of those close to me until i have very visibly and irreversibly hurt them in some way. I had this issue bud and blosom full bloom in my face in regards to my ex girlfriend a few months back but i digress.

Things calmed down slightly my senior year of high school thnkfully.. i managed to graduate while holding down a pretty much full time job ect. But things took a nose dive once i started attending a local community college. not even 2 months in i lost my brother to illness. a mixture of a fungal infection, pneumonia and untreated HIV/AIDS had made him go from perfectly healthy and getting his life straightened out to deathly ill in a hospital bed. he was 31.
Loosing my brother took a huge toll on my mental health and i struggled to focus in class and dropped out of half of them. I was livign with my grandparents as well because they were closer to the campus and it helped a tiny bit.. and i somehow managed to keep myself straightened out at work.

The summer of last year though my mother underwent more spinal surgeries after slowly loosing the function of her legs and i had to quit my job to care for her full time. This time also overlapped the one year anniversary of my brothers death and we also had to deal with Hurricane Sandy.

That december i helped my mother move out to California to live with my sister and brother in law and i came back mid-january. i now live with my father and i have a part time job and things are kind of starting to look up...kinda
Im still struggling with my self doubt and depression but im slowly getting a handle on it
 

TrishaCat

The Cat in the FAF
Hurricane Katrina.
I used to live in Louisiana, fairly close to New Orleans too. I went to school, was sometimes bullied, but I had a few friends. My family was a middle class family and I could ask for something and I might get it. It was nice. I lived comfortably and had a big room. I played outside with friends, rode my bicycle, played video games, watched television, and had a lot of fun. I was social too.
A little time before Hurricane Katrina struck land in Louisiana, my family decided to evacuate to another state and stay with relatives and wait out the storm. We didn't expect too much. We were worried, but we hoped to be able to return home and everything be all right. I mean, all the hurricanes before Katrina, even the bad ones, turned out all right, right? We were wrong. Everything didn't go all right. Our house was flooded quite badly, and it was basically uninhabitable after Hurricane Katrina. We needed a place to stay, and a relative offered us to use their trailer. I went to the trailer and everything felt foreign. I went to the bathroom, flushed the toilet, and the sound it made scared me. It was different, unexpected, and perhaps loud. I began to cry.
As time passed, it turned out that we were not going to return to Louisiana to live there. We were without a home of our own, and we had to get jobs. But things changed. We became either rich for poor people or a low middle class family. Either way, I could no longer ask for things and expect to maybe get them. It became less and less likely.
With all my lost things, I had to find something to do. My parents knew I had a love for video games, so they bought me a Playstation 2 and a game for it. A family member gave me a few PS1 games too. It wasn't much, but it was nice. I became very big on playing video games. I spent lots of time playing video games. I rarely left my room. I lost interest in playing outside. I didn't know anybody in town, so I didn't have any friends. I became anti social, or perhaps asocial, I'm not sure. It didn't help that I now lived in a small town, one so small that it didn't even have a McDonalds. As time passed, we finally got enough money to get a small house. It wasn't much, and my room is rather small. We make a little more money now, but things still aren't great.

I believe this all made me become very antisocial, very big on video games, and much more willing to gain stranger interests, like anime, and of course, furries.
 

Cocobanana

Member
I was shipped around to 7 different group homes for 2 and a half years, starting when I was 12. It felt as if both my mom and dad had both abandoned me as I was subjected to physical and psychological abuse by strangers who had been taught to treat all of the kids like future murderers, thieves, and pedophiles. All I'd done was threaten to kill my dad during an angry argument (verbally only, and I didn't have a history of violence; mom thinks that my dad wasn't really afraid of me and just wanted one less mouth to feed since at the time he was married to my stepmom who had three daughters of her own, in addition to him having to take care of my younger brother and I) and he threw me to the mercy of the government. Most of the other kids had done WAY worse, like molested their siblings or beaten a kids face to a pulp at school because they were the tough bully there.

Being in many scary places for so long when you suck at being social isn't a pain I'd wish on anyone. I would have rather been tortured by those who cared about me than ignored and beaten by strangers.
 

Seekrit

Member
Machine is some kind of mental wizard, she turned me into the Fresh Prince.

Lemme tell you my story:

[yt]hBe0VCso0qs[/yt]
 

Fnoros

Member
My life is not nearly as depressing as some other people here, but I did have to watch my mother slowly die of cancer for about a decade (i.e. roughly half of my life). Other than that, i had/am having a pretty sheltered and limited middle class white nerdy antisocial dude life. Which kind of sucks because I think i might be an adrenaline junkie, and i have no outlet for it. But hey! no parental abuse, divorce, poverty, war, or mental disorders (that i know of)! So that's pretty cool!
 

Wakor

Wakor Jones
Wow I just kindof want to hug everybody and pet them. I thinkkkk that one of my biggest moldings was my abusive relationship that ended a year ago? Technically it was 3 years long but I'd been dating the girl for only 6 months. It was the same all throughout.
See, my girlfriend had massive abandonment and self esteem issues. Those on their own are treatable and manageable, but she used them as excuses to manipulate me and force me to be hers and only hers. I wasn't allowed to see other friends. I wasn't allowed to go out with my siblings or parents. I was never allowed to leave my computer, or stop talking to her, except when it was convenient for her.
I wasn't even allowed to sleep more than 7 hours.
I was angry and hurt all the time, but it was like... I always felt it was my fault? I felt like I was the one at wrong whenever I called her out on her bullshit. I became terrified to text her and say I was going out because of the anger and resentment I would get in return. So I just stopped going out.
However, all this didn't affect me directly. After I got out of that relationship, I became involved with support blogs and anti-shame group. I learned more about how to take care of myself and what to look for when I'm about to enter a poisonous friendship. I began dating the most glorious woman in the world, and she's been nothing but supportive for me.
I never would have learned how to take care of myself MENTALLY if it weren't for that experience. I went swimming with my family for the first time in four years just today, actually, and I was able to do so without a panic attack that my current mate would be mad (even though she wouldn't be). But not only that, I rocked that swimmingsuit with all 100% of my body fat. I felt really frickin' good.
 
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