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What do you think of people who are polyamorous?

AlexStone

Member
I was just curious what everyone thinks of people who are poly or figure they might be poly. Do you think it's wrong or weird?
 

RedSavage

Rattlesnake Flavored
Literally don't give a single fuuuuck about them.
They can do whatever.
I'll do my own business.

People try to say shit like, "Oh yeah I heard about someone who did that. Didn't work out." And it's like shit---you know I hear about a lot of one-on-one marriages that don't work out either. So it's what the fuck ever. All's fair in love and war.
 

Renarde

Little Fox
I'm super monogamous - I bond really intensely with one person. Sometimes I wish I was capable of wrapping my head around the polyamorous life, it seems like it could be fun, at least for a bit.
 

Evan of Phrygia

WwwHhAaaAaTtTttTttTtT
I used to explore that mindset, and it really isn't for me. At some point attachment can be capable of identifying people with that upper level "love" tier, but it's something that isn't mutual by a longshot. For me, I'm only able to explore "polyamory" sexually, a bit too well honestly...I love group sex and have little guilt for affairs, but I don't think I've ever been legitimately capable of identifying with the additional romantic concept with more than one person.

I was in a poly relationship once and I only really cared about one of the two people, the other I disregarded to some extent.
(albeit it became clear to me that I had nothing in common with that particular person, but the problem of preference can be massively harmful)

I don't think the failures of traditional and polyamorous relationships don't attest to either's validity really well at all. As far as I can tell, monogamy works based on the mindset on sex and romance that you have. Polygamy functions on some similar plane, and at this point all that really can be said is that a lot of people aren't entirely sure of what they want and that relationships are risks regardless of what grouping you explore.
 
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AlexStone

Member
Interesting, I usually hear it's perverted and wrong from most people but it's interesting hearing different opinions.
 

Kit H. Ruppell

Exterminieren! Exterminieren!
I have opportunistic sex with a few different people, but I don't consider them 'mates' or whatever. When I do find someone special, I'll be exclusive to them.
 

Vær

Mr. Prickles
To each their own. I can love more than one person, but I could only be with one. I, personally, do not believe it to be wrong. If you have to share your love between 2 or more partners then do it! As long as all parties are aware of your poly-amorous style of relationships.
 

Kit H. Ruppell

Exterminieren! Exterminieren!
From what I've seen 'polyamory' is mostly a fancy way of saying 'having lots of fuckbuddies, but lacking the emotional sophistication to maintain a deep relationship.
 
Well, who am I to tell people how to live their lives? As for me, I'm not sure I can be that open and trusting with more than one person at a time.
 

Vær

Mr. Prickles
From what I've seen 'polyamory' is mostly a fancy way of saying 'having lots of fuckbuddies, but lacking the emotional sophistication to maintain a deep relationship.
While in this day and age this has become true, the definition I believe the OP is speaking of is still the basic "loving many". I think the OP is just asking people about wanting to be in multi-partner relationships. Not an open relationship.
 

AlexStone

Member
For me that's not what it means but some people do think of it that way. It would be nice to be able to love two people at once. I do agree that to many people it is just a um recreational thing I guess.
 

Punnchy

Feed Me Pizza
From someone whom has been in a poly relationship. It's not for everyone. You can't just become part of a relationship with other people and expect everything to be mutual and work out. There's not always going to be the compatibility and if all the rules of the relationship aren't made perfectly clear, very early, things will go bad faster then you think.
 

Schwimmwagen

Well-Known Member
I don't think most people can remain strictly monogamous for their entire lives (not until after they've slept around for a while at least) and I think the concept of an open relationship is a recipie for disaster for most sorts of people.

However being a slut isn't illegal or something. Just don't involve me.
 

AlexStone

Member
Yeah, I can understand how it's not for everyone but I think it can be a good thing. Society finds it weird though like you're a real nutjob.
 

Phyllostachys

Feigning intelligence
Well, I read that unlike gorillas, which has polygynous mating system, and chimpanzees and bonobos, which has multimale-multifemale mating system, human mating system is basically monogamy with occasional extramarital sex as human infants are born much immature compared to other primates and thus require longer time and resources to raise. I think in "Nature via Nurture" by Matt Ridley, it was mentioned that while there were numerous social experiments that tempered with this innate mating system, such as Rajneesh's Pune ashram and ranch in Oregon, they all ended in failure, as some inborn tendencies are difficult to change.

Still, just because something is natural doesn't decide whether it is right or wrong. If some people are truly capable of doing that, then why not, as long as it is all done with consent? Though, I'll have to doubt the possiblilty.
 
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Ruggy

Member
Is polyamory distinct from open relationships at all? I was never quite sure of that.

That said, a couple (literally, they are a couple) of my dearest friends are poly and make it work, and they'll be the first to tell you that it's not for everyone, and open and honest communication is The Most Important Thing.

So I guess what I think is, "Do what works for you and your partner(s), just make sure everyone's on the same page." Which goes for... pretty much everything in any kind of a relationship.

Though I'm really not sure what to think of more, erm, traditional poly setups with one man and a bunch of sister-wives or whatever, and not being sure how much of it is voluntary or societally-pressured into being that way. Mostly I'd just hope that anyone in a poly relationship is, like, actually okay with being in one and having their emotional needs met while they're there, and feels free to leave if they want. (I kinda doubt that the super-nice egalitarian ideal is the case in all poly relationships, though.)
 
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Kitsune Cross

**** that **** now! Bitch
I don't care, everybody is free and responsible for their actions, but if you are married and decide to cheat on your wife/husband you are a fucking idiot for marrying him/her
 
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Chuchi

Where'd the time go?
Uhhh, I can't say I have an opinion on the matter. What you do is your business, so long as you don't try making it my business, yanno what I'm sayin'?
Love all the people you want and stuff. \o/
 

Hinalle K.

Banned
Banned
I don't know, I'll ask my wives what they think.

Anyway, it's a common thing around here, but like many aspects of my culture, I don't really feel it's quite right.
 

Lomberdia

Selling bookmarks!
I went from mono to poly. I find being poly adds variety to the relationship(s). I have two girlfriends currently but I can't say I 'love' them both equally. I love one as my actual girlfriend and the 2nd one is more like a FWB that got the green light from my girlfriend. Its like (with me) the two women serve different purposes. We have a poly closed relationship. Nobody sleeps around with anyone else outside the triangle without a condom. Raw sex is okay only after the extra person gets the okay. Thats for safety reasons but my two girlfriends don't sleep around, they are too faithful and have no interest in that but the option is open for them.

I know a few men who have multiple girlfriends and wives. One random lady asked one of the men who his favorite girl was, and his (along with his girls') jaws dropped. It was an insult and its like asking a parent who their favorite child is. I have a favorite but some men and women love their extra spouses equally and dont have favorites.
 

Bonobosoph

4 hands good 2 hands bad ;)
Good for some, not for others. It wouldn't bother meh, but my partner would hate it so I totally respect and am ok with that. I would never do anything he wasn't comfy with.

*eyetwitch* (jk jk)
 

PlusThirtyOne

What DOES my username mean...?
Actually i've done a bunch of research on poly practice for a story i've been writing. Polies don't actually consider themselves mutual fuck-buddies like how the rest of the world might think. The "amoury" in polyamoury is for "love"; actual, honest, emotional love. Polies, like any other pairing, are often sexual, yes, but the relationships aren't based on sex. Homosexual love isn't based on buttsex and scizzoring, nor is poly love based on orgies and swinging. The practice consists of three or more people of either gender sharing themselves both physically and emotionally across multiple parters. They can be all-in with each other or keep separate exclusive pairings with approval of all parties.

X can commit him/herself to Y and Z separately in two equally loving relationships with approval of both Y and Z. (X+Y)+(X+Z). Likewise X, Y AND Z can have an equal three way relationship with each together. (X+Y+Z)
 

Hikaru Okami

Radiant Wolf
I don't care all power to those that do and are doing okay. I know a few people in poly relationships. It's their business, not mine.
 
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