What is the oldest (expired) thing you've ever eaten?

[PlusThirtyOne]

Back in 2004 i got a job working retail. in the break room in the back there was a Diet Coke can on top of the fridge shoved way in the back. Something about the can's design looked different and i thought it was some sort of promotional design. it sat back there for the entirety of the six months i spent at that store. Since i was the most recent hire there, i was the first to go when the store started to downsize and i was told i was being let go a week in advance.
On my very last day, just before the end of my shift, i announced to the whole break room full of employees that i was celebrating my departure by chugging the Diet Coke i'd been staring at atop the fridge. One of the (much) older ladies in the room said, "Thirtyone, sweetie, that thing has been up there since i was hired. Are you sure you want to drink that?", to which i replied, "HELLS YEAH i'm gonna chug it!!".

-And so i did.

i held my breath and dumped in a mouthful and swallowed without tasting it. Before i ever pulled the can away for my second gulp, i promptly spat out the second mouthful and barfed all over the floor in front of the fridge. As soon as the taste registered to my brain, i popped. i had never gagged and barfed SO fast and SO much at once. The liquid inside was completely flat and warm. it tasted like someone ELSE'S morning breath. Sooo nasty! Before i was even done spewing my guts out onto the floor, i asked, "When were you hired!?". She said, "Well over 10 years ago, honey!". So i wiped my mouth and flipped over the can.

"Best before April...

...1992."​

 

[quoting_mungo]

I honestly have no idea; nonperishables probably pushing on at least 10 years. A couple weeks ago I used milk that expired last September for a mug cake (it was fine). Overall I go by "if it's been stored properly, hasn't visibly gone off, and doesn't smell bad, it's probably okay." Expiration dates are just ballpark guesses anyway.

 

[DarkoKavinsky]

I ate noodles in 2014 that expired in 2008. That was interesting. Tasted off but I'm still alive. I think I consumed a can of expired spaghetti-o's knock offs yesterday the red looked more fleshy tone should have been a warning sign oh well I'm still alive

 

[lupi900]

Ate 6 month old Snyder, Hershey & jolly Rodger from a American store in my town that closed down not long after. I stopped going when i realised nearly everything was very out of date, very few fresh stuff.

I only buy that stuff from either tesco's or the UK amazon.

 

[Deleted member 115426]

Your mom.

 

[SlyRiolu]

Your mom.

How decayed was it?

Also mine was some moldy bread it tasted like a marker. I will not answer how I know how markers taste.

 

[Dongding]

Your mom.

I was waiting for that one.

 

[Deleted member 82554]

Moldy cake. Was tripping balls all night.

 

[Jarren]

Spaghettio MRE four years expired. Was still just fine, actually. Got it from a Marine friend of mine when we went were hanging out one day. The poptarts that came with it as a dessert had neverm into one super poptart and the sauce on the noodles had separated, but I didn't die.

 

[PlusThirtyOne]

Spaghettio MRE four years expired.

My best friend in highschool used to host LAN parties almost every other weekend. His dad was/is a "prepper" and a vet. He had boxes of Vietnam War Era MREs stockpiled in the storage room. We were all into 'Battlefield Vietnam' at the time as well as other shooters so we were welcomed to partake in history by eating some all of the MREs over the course of a couple years every time he hosted a LAN. Some of the MREs were even older i think because they came with nicotine gum. Some packs came with M&Ms and other bits of discontinued items. We also stockpiled the heating packets and made pipe bombs out of them. The food was just as good in quality as most of the modern MREs i've ever eaten. The peanut butter was a little crumbly and dry but other than that, it was good stuff!

 

[Skychickens]

I had something that was four years expired once. I mean it was a nonperishable and nothing happened but. It definitely didn't warm up right.

 

[Simo]

Huh, good question! Maybe an egg? But the eggs hens lay, last a long time, unless you wash them, so maybe have eggs that are quite old, and washed just before use.

Have had a single cask Amontillado Sherry from 1950, but that was just all the more mellow.

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

Air Force Basic Training, 1970's. Out "On Maneuvers" (marching from one side of Lackland AFB to the other), we stop in this secluded area of the base and supply brings out C-Rations and 12 oz cans of water. Has a few extra cases of rations, too. Each case has twelve meals in it. They're all marked "1946". No $h!t. I had Spaghetti and meat ball (one large meatball on top of the spaghetti) and my box of rations has the pound cake in it. Not bad, by the way. Even the Pall Mall non-filter cigarettes (small 4 smoke pack) were not too bad. Kinda dry but smokeable.

So, food almost thirty years old and nobody got sick. The extra cases were just in case your can of meat item or bread item was bulged out/rusty/obviously compromised. Only two or three cans were bad upon inspection/tasting. I would never do that again, even on a dare.

 

[PlusThirtyOne]

Pall Mall non-filter cigarettes (small 4 smoke pack) were not too bad. Kinda dry but smokeable.

We found a number of cigarette packs in the MREs we had too. Most of the time they came in packs of two in a little aluminum case as i recall. As described by my friend's dad, not all MREs came with smokes. it was sort of a gamble because you never knew if your meal would come with some. Cigarettes were rationed out by other means and traded at the commissary. The occasional smokes found in MREs were just a random surprise. Something of a "skinner box" to boost moral. -At least that's how i remember the story going.

 

[PolarizedBear]

I was over at my mates house and had me grab something from the fridge. I didn't hang out over there much because we usually did it at my place so I've never been inside his kitchen much. He has this french door fridge so it's really fancy n all that kinda jazz but the moment I looked inside the thing it was like WW3 had taken place, leaking sauces n empty bottles.. There was this plate of lamington in the back in a tiny plastic container, the thing looked like absolute death but I could vaguely make out the shape. Asked him how fuckin' long it's been in there and he tells me it's been stuck inside that container for the better half of a decade. Needless to say I forced him to clean the damn thing. . . later that day I drank a 5 month expired Bundaberg but I thought the cake story was more interesting. ʕ◉ᴥ◉ʔ

 

[Illuminaughty]

I recall one of my favourite pastimes as a child when I visited my grandparents' house was to sit in their storage pantry with my cousin and look at the dates on all the cans. Some of them went back to the 80's, some fairly recent. Seeing as I've eaten plenty of meals at their house, I'm going to guess I've probably eaten some older canned stuff in my time.

As for knowingly, I think it was probably a jar of artichoke hearts. We were cleaning out our own pantry and seeing what needed to stay and what needed to go, and we happened upon a glass jar of artichoke hearts that was I think.. Seven or eight years past its date? Popped it open, they seemed fine so we tried them, tasted fine- ate them in a salad and nobody got sick. Turns out, they were probably fine.

Depending on the item, I tend to give expiration dates some leeway. Milk/bread items especially- if it's not moldy, smelly or off-looking it's usually fine. As for eggs (I have my own chickens so it can be hard to tell when they were collected if the date isn't written on the container), a good rule if you're not sure is to see if they sink in water. If they sink they're probably still okay- if they float, better to toss them and cut your losses.

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

We found a number of cigarette packs in the MREs we had too. Most of the time they came in packs of two in a little aluminum case as i recall. As described by my friend's dad, not all MREs came with smokes. it was sort of a gamble because you never knew if your meal would come with some. Cigarettes were rationed out by other means and traded at the commissary. The occasional smokes found in MREs were just a random surprise. Something of a "skinner box" to boost moral. -At least that's how i remember the story going.

Back in the day, all C-Rations had the M-Unit that had the meat portion of the meal, the B-Unit that had your bread item and dessert in it, an accessory short pack that had smokes with waterproof matches and the accessory long pack that contained a flat wooden spoon, some candy-coated gum, sugar tablets, salt tablets, a P38 and some toilet paper. All stuffed inside a cardboard box with markings that explained the contents

Each case came with twenty-four meals consisting of 24 M-Units, 24 B-Units and 24 accessory units/sets long and short. That made up three daily meals for eight soldiers. The ones we had were probably pre-E-Rations, which were short lived from 1946 to 1948. What I should point out is the fact only four meals came with good B-Unit items. There was one each of the pound cake, fruit cake, apricots and the pecan cake roll per case. If you got one, you could bargain for damned near anything during war conditions. The one M-Unit that was scorned by all was the Ham and Lima Beans. Commonly referred to as Ham and M-F'ers. No amount of Tabasco sauce can fix those gruesome bastards. I can attest to that from personal experience.

 

[Shadow of Bucephalus]

Back in 2004 i got a job working retail. in the break room in the back there was a Diet Coke can on top of the fridge shoved way in the back. Something about the can's design looked different and i thought it was some sort of promotional design. it sat back there for the entirety of the six months i spent at that store. Since i was the most recent hire there, i was the first to go when the store started to downsize and i was told i was being let go a week in advance.
On my very last day, just before the end of my shift, i announced to the whole break room full of employees that i was celebrating my departure by chugging the Diet Coke i'd been staring at atop the fridge. One of the (much) older ladies in the room said, "Thirtyone, sweetie, that thing has been up there since i was hired. Are you sure you want to drink that?", to which i replied, "HELLS YEAH i'm gonna chug it!!".

-And so i did.

i held my breath and dumped in a mouthful and swallowed without tasting it. Before i ever pulled the can away for my second gulp, i promptly spat out the second mouthful and barfed all over the floor in front of the fridge. As soon as the taste registered to my brain, i popped. i had never gagged and barfed SO fast and SO much at once. The liquid inside was completely flat and warm. it tasted like someone ELSE'S morning breath. Sooo nasty! Before i was even done spewing my guts out onto the floor, i asked, "When were you hired!?". She said, "Well over 10 years ago, honey!". So i wiped my mouth and flipped over the can.

"Best before April...

...1992."​

One of the tricks I learned as a kid/young adult, living in the dry, hot, desert environment of S. CA ('bout 30 miles south of Palm Springs, and WELL away from any of that glitter and glamour!), was to put a pebble underneath my tongue while walking/hiking/camping in such a clime. You still have to keep yer LIPS shut, but that little trick will do wonders to keep your mouth wettened.

One time, I swallowed that pebble (was skidding my ass down a steep, crumbly hillside).

So.

No idea how OLD that piece of rock was?

It would certainly qualify as the 'Oldest' thing I've ever consumed (knowingly. Not sure how virus' might apply? ick).

As-for expiration dates?

I have a very old, tried and true philosophy 'bout such things-

If the 'Best by' date is expired? I toss it.

'When in doubt, throw it OUT!'...

Hasn't failed me yet.

;-)

 

[Deleted member 111470]

A beer, 3 months after its expiration date. It was disgusting, I threw up.

 

[DarkoKavinsky]

I had a 1/8 bottle of kraken that was aged for two years in that state at 60 degrees.

I now know what pirate rum was like!

*licks chops*

 

[Faize]

Eh I try to keep up with expiration dates and check if there's something on the old side. Most expired thing I've probably used was some Buttermilk for making pancakes. maybe a few weeks old? I was told buttermilk was just expired milk and it would mostly just be safe, and I was fine afterwards, so. /shrug

 

[Kellan Meig'h]

After all of the things served to me in the military, I still do not trust this new shelf stable milk. It just seems so . . . wrong. There is something about milk that can sit unrefrigerated for months/years without turning.

 

[Zypter]

My friend and I found a pack of cookies literally buried in the depot at the backyard, it had expired one year before we found it. We shrugged off and ate the cookies, luckily they still tasted good and nothing bad happened.

 

[Razorscab]

Whenever I was with my first boyfriend his parents would get expensive chocolates and things every Christmas from one of their relatives. One year, they got a huge box of individual packages of some sort of expensive chocolate truffles rolled in cocoa powder. His mom swore they were delicious so she gave me 2 or 3 packages of them. When I got home I tried some and noticed that they tasted chalky and had a weird texture. I looked at the expiration date and they had expired over 2 years beforehand. So long story short, I guess that relative didn't like them very much and sent them cheap, expired chocolate every year.

 

[LogicNuke]

A year old Twinkie I found under my couch.

I was living that slum life at the time.