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What is your favorite out-of-context quote?

Punji

Daedric Prince of Secrets
"Why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?"
 

The_Happiest_Husky

Add me Sugar Cookie#0398
"Onion vs asparagus is only a relevant distinction if you have more than three strapons, and is whether they are dropped all at once (onion) or in individual sets (asparagus)"
 

MaplePurrys

Yes, I believe in your mother joke supremacy :)
There are actually two! And these were when I was out in public, society is so fun!

(Two middle aged ladies walking down the sidewalk) "Okay okay relax, we'll go back to the car, and take the allergy medicine that's in the chicken."

(One night, at the grocery store, an old man stops in his tracks and sees a stand full of buttered popcorn, he got excited and went) "Mmmk buttered popcorn!! Damn! Sexy!!"

Im not even sure which is funnier LMAO
 

Pomorek

Antelope-Addicted Hyena
An excerpt from a non-joke technical description of an actual device:

"To launch a pig
  • Ensure pig launcher is drained and vented. Unlock and open, then close and relock the vent and drain valves.
  • Unlock and open door, load pig into launcher, close and lock door.
  • Unlock and open valves V1 and V3, to create a flow path through the launcher.
  • Partly close ‘kicker’ valve V2 to launch the pig.
  • The launch alarm XA will indicate when the pig has been launched
  • Open valve V2 fully.
  • Close and lock valves V1 and V3.
  • Unlock and open vent and drain valves. Allow launcher to depressurise and drain.
  • Close and lock vent and drain valves.
  • Pig launcher is then ready for the next pig to launch."
 

Minerva_Minx

Explosion loving skooma cat
Really? Really? No context?

Say hello to my little friend!
 
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