When and how did you first realise you where a furry?
- Thread starter Jonnaius
- Start date
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Shino
Now with more Writer's Block!
Ok, story time. (This is probably going to be really, really long, so I don't blame you for skipping to the end after reading the first part.)
I think I need to get all this out in the open for my own sake, too, so I can start trying to let go of some of it.
I guess I've always been a furry in concept. My mental self-image, even when I was little, has been of a bluish-tinted anthro wolf, I've always had a special fondness for animals, big dogs in particular, and I've always been kinda animal-like. I would always run up the stairs on all fours (and sometimes elsewhere), I'd growl when I got angry, I'd tend to sniff things very canine-like, etc. I could even bark almost perfectly. My baby insisors were also pretty sharp.
I also was obsessed with just about anything anthro - a lot of the Disney movies, several cartoons, both TV and paper, anything that involved an animal doing "human stuff". I also would go out of my way for anything animal-related - photos, T-shirts, stories (I was a huge reader then, especially slightly anthro books like Dr. Suess and many fantasy novels, but the tasteless crap my english teachers shoveled down my throat in school and called "must-reads" turned me off of reading alltogether. Thank god for my love of tech-oriented books.), etc.
Another side effect that came with loving animals was that I didn't have much empathy for humans, their arrogant use of other animals and land, and the human race in general.
Unfortunately, I realized pretty early on that I "wasn't like other people" and over time learned to bury and/or kick most of the "habbits".
I was still really socially awkward, and grew up in the server room at my HS, as I seemed to have a natural aptitude for tech and the admin desperately needed the help. That, and I wasn't really welcome in the cafeteria.
With the exception of being able to fix the outdated compys in the school, noone wanted me around, and without any real friends, was always treated rather horribly by most. Oh sure, there were some kids that would tolerate me being around, but I grew up in a you're-not-normal, phobic and semi-luddite community, and was an outcast even among the outcasts.
I really didn't have any intrest in women or porn either back then, which didn't help any. I was a late bloomer, puberty-wise (around 17-18), and even afterwards, women still held no intrest for me beyond good friends. In fact, nothing really did sexually. I wasn't really good-looking, either.
(I'm 23 now, for refrence.)
I was never good at anything athletic, despite my parents constantly pushing me into team sports (me being a loner didn't help there, either), and my little brother (sorta, I'll explain this later) was always the one who got all the trophies, and seemed to (back then, though I realize now that wasn't true) get all the love and attention. We never got along, and he would always steal my stuff, as I was the older one and had the "better stuff" in his eyes. We even came to blows many times. Maybe my parents didn't know, or maybe they didn't want to see it, but he never got in trouble for anything aside from a proverbial slap on the wrist, and I would always take the heat, as we was a perfect liar. To them, he was their "normal" kid. He had the "popular" friends, my parents would give him money left and right, and he could do no wrong in their eyes.
I was the wierdo kid that fought his counciling sessions, wouldn't take his meds and didn't have any friends.
Looking back, I think that my parents were/are the type that deep, deep down, I know they will/would have been ok with all of this, but they were the "keeping up appearances" type, and shun things for the sake of being "normal", and therefore they did as much as possible to quash the strange behaviour I would always show while growing up.
Then, around the time I was 18, my life starting making a 180° when two wonderful things happened to me: I left for college, and I met my real mom. I'll cover the more bazarre event first.
Around the time I was graduating, my parents asked me if I wanted to meet my real mom.
I had known for a long time that I was adopted, but up until then it had always been abstract fact to be filed away. I didn't really grasp the... significance of it.
Being the curious kid I was, I said sure, and went to some sort of office to meet them. When they (yeah, I had a sister, too. Zing.) walked in to the living room-like office, I was floored. My (real) mom looked like the somewhat attractive, slightly overweight (please don't take offense, mom), socially active, 25-somethings you see talking to their BFFs in the mall food court, and my sister, well, she was... (wait for it) one of the pretty-but-slightly-nerdy-looking girls from my school! I had been going to school with my sister! OMGWTFholycrap!!
You see, we had thought that they were living somewhere in Flordia, but two years earlier, they had moved back up here to Vermont (two towns away, no less) and my sis had enrolled in my High School, two years under my class. After a while, she noticed I looked like the kid in the photos her mom would get in the mail, and mentioned it to her. She did some asking around, and realized what had happened. So she set up a meet, and there they were, standing in front of me smiling and hugging and talking to me - all the while me being totally shell-shocked and mentally overloaded.
Ever since then, when I would go over and visit, I slowly realized I could drop the "normal" act and be myself, and they were always 100% accepting of it, no questions asked. I formed this great friends-but-better relationship with her, and my sister and I had the sereotypical good-siblings relationship - we would poke fun at each other a lot, but it was always good-natured. This was completely new to me, as my parents were all "beaver-cleaver", "keeping-up-with-the-Jones'", and my brother and I absoloutely loathed each other. No exaggeration.
The other thing that happened pretty much at the same time: I left for college.
Because of my technical aptitude, I went to a tech college in-state, where I encountered two things I'd never experienced before: acceptance and independence.
As soon as I arrived, I was floored by the fact that (almost) everyone else there was like me: a social outcast with a amazing mind for technology. Suddenly, I was at the top of the social pecking order. It felt like someone had handed me a pair of glasses and I saw the world clearly for the first time. (I think I just gave the textbook definition of a paradigm shift.)
Shortly after I - the unsure-of-himself naïve freshman that I was - arrived, I was taken in by a group within the college (the biggest one, in fact) known as "The Guild", a group of other computer geeks and nerds with an affinity for gaming (computer, pen-and-paper RPGs, etc), and all of us certifiably insane, to boot. They helped me ditch the fake front I had built up all those years, schooled me in the real ways of the world, and showed me how to be myself. I could finally have a conversation without the "WTF are you talking about" looks, had a seat saved for me at the big table in the middle of the cafeteria, and was actually wanted and welcomed by others, instead of being merely tolerated.
I learned a whole heck of a lot socially, as well as the ability to truly "blend" with the real world, instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.
Unfortunately, because I focused too much on college life and not enough on college work, I couldn't return after the third semester, when the teachers stopped giving me the benefit of the doubt. I did fine - learning-wise - in the computer classes, but I just couldn't figure out - nor drum up the motivation to try - the core courses like math and english, and got the boot.
As far as I'm concerned, I got all the knowledge I was really looking for, but as far as the mass public is concerned, without that little piece of paper that says you graduated, you're not diddly-squat in their eyes.
As far as my parents are concerned (the "beaver-cleaver" ones), they're all sorts of pissed off about it, even to this day (although they hide it), that I wasted my education and their money.
Well, in their eyes, anyways.
Long story short (too late!), those two big experiences, or should I say groups of people, gave me roughly the same thing: the knowledge that I can be - as well as the how-to - be myself among those who are willing to accept it, and that I should never let who I am be dictated by those with a narrow mind.
Ok, I've gotten horribly off topic here. Back to the question.
I realized the true meaning of my furry nature (as well as my sexual prefrence) a few years ago when I was still in college, up late browsing Google Images for drawings of wolves for my desktop background (completely innocently. Honestly. I just usually keep SafeSearch off because it tends to get annoying when you're looking for a specific image.) and came across one of Blotch's non-yiff drawings. (Paintings?) Intrigued, I clicked on the thumbnail, which happened to be in his VCL library. After looking through his library, I came across his... more adult work, and suddenly, was more intrested than I had ever been. Up to this point, when I needed to... uh... deal with the urge, the simple act itsself (without any actual thoughts) was usually enough. I understood the whole sexual culture and concept and the images and videos that went with it, but it didn't really intrest me. With what I was seeing, though, it took on a whole new meaning and intensity.
After my... urge was satisfied, I went to the homepage and starting browsing around, not really comprehending what had just happened. I realized that this site was full of drawings of anthros, and I liked it. I spent several months lurking around the site, enjoying the strangely unique work, especially the ones involving male wolves and dogs, until people talking about something called FA got me curious. I finally found a clickable link and was dumped (predictably) into an old archived FurAffinity thread on what the heck a furry is. I was reading through, and suddenly, I felt like something had fallen in place. I felt... a sense of belonging. Like, holy crap! Other people feel this way, too? I'm not alone?!?
That was about a year and a half ago. I ended up moving out and getting an apartment in Burlington, and I lurked around the forums and FA's main site for a long, long time (always in private) before deciding, "What the hell. It's not like mom's going to find this on my computer." So I created an account here, and starting getting involved with the community, instead of lurking around the fringes.
I'm come to grips with the fact that I am a full-blown furry, and have even let two of my friends (of which, I still don't have many) know. One had suspected a long time, and the other was completely blind-sided. As far as the other thing, I think they both suspect that I'm gay (Oh, wow. It took me fifteen minutes to finally say it and type those last two words), or in the very least bi, but haven't said anything on that either way. I think they just look at me as the guy that will be a virgin for the rest of his life. I'd like to change that once I meet a furry I'm comfortable with. I've commissioned BeastCub to make my suit (which I'm looking sooo forward to getting), and will be attending my first con - FurFright '09 in CT, and hope to meet some furries in real life. Of course, meeting a furry can be incredibly hard since we're so good at hiding it. I'm planning on moving to the west coast at some point anyways, as I can't stand it here. Maybe I'll have more luck out there, as there don't seem to any others like me nearby.
Oh, wow. I've just written a novel. Eh, it reads like a cheesy autobiography.
Ok, just to sum up for those of you who skipped to the bottom: I've always been a furry at heart, I realized who I was thanks to Blotch and everyone at FA. Thanks everyone! And a huge hug for anyone who was willing to slog through my life's story, and helping me come out.
I am...
I am... Wow. This is so hard.
I... am... I am a gay... I am a gay... furry.
I am a gay furry.
I'm a gay furry.
I'M A GAY FURRY!
And I'm ok with that.
Now to tell my parents...
I think I need to get all this out in the open for my own sake, too, so I can start trying to let go of some of it.
I guess I've always been a furry in concept. My mental self-image, even when I was little, has been of a bluish-tinted anthro wolf, I've always had a special fondness for animals, big dogs in particular, and I've always been kinda animal-like. I would always run up the stairs on all fours (and sometimes elsewhere), I'd growl when I got angry, I'd tend to sniff things very canine-like, etc. I could even bark almost perfectly. My baby insisors were also pretty sharp.
I also was obsessed with just about anything anthro - a lot of the Disney movies, several cartoons, both TV and paper, anything that involved an animal doing "human stuff". I also would go out of my way for anything animal-related - photos, T-shirts, stories (I was a huge reader then, especially slightly anthro books like Dr. Suess and many fantasy novels, but the tasteless crap my english teachers shoveled down my throat in school and called "must-reads" turned me off of reading alltogether. Thank god for my love of tech-oriented books.), etc.
Another side effect that came with loving animals was that I didn't have much empathy for humans, their arrogant use of other animals and land, and the human race in general.
Unfortunately, I realized pretty early on that I "wasn't like other people" and over time learned to bury and/or kick most of the "habbits".
I was still really socially awkward, and grew up in the server room at my HS, as I seemed to have a natural aptitude for tech and the admin desperately needed the help. That, and I wasn't really welcome in the cafeteria.
With the exception of being able to fix the outdated compys in the school, noone wanted me around, and without any real friends, was always treated rather horribly by most. Oh sure, there were some kids that would tolerate me being around, but I grew up in a you're-not-normal, phobic and semi-luddite community, and was an outcast even among the outcasts.
I really didn't have any intrest in women or porn either back then, which didn't help any. I was a late bloomer, puberty-wise (around 17-18), and even afterwards, women still held no intrest for me beyond good friends. In fact, nothing really did sexually. I wasn't really good-looking, either.
(I'm 23 now, for refrence.)
I was never good at anything athletic, despite my parents constantly pushing me into team sports (me being a loner didn't help there, either), and my little brother (sorta, I'll explain this later) was always the one who got all the trophies, and seemed to (back then, though I realize now that wasn't true) get all the love and attention. We never got along, and he would always steal my stuff, as I was the older one and had the "better stuff" in his eyes. We even came to blows many times. Maybe my parents didn't know, or maybe they didn't want to see it, but he never got in trouble for anything aside from a proverbial slap on the wrist, and I would always take the heat, as we was a perfect liar. To them, he was their "normal" kid. He had the "popular" friends, my parents would give him money left and right, and he could do no wrong in their eyes.
I was the wierdo kid that fought his counciling sessions, wouldn't take his meds and didn't have any friends.
Looking back, I think that my parents were/are the type that deep, deep down, I know they will/would have been ok with all of this, but they were the "keeping up appearances" type, and shun things for the sake of being "normal", and therefore they did as much as possible to quash the strange behaviour I would always show while growing up.
Then, around the time I was 18, my life starting making a 180° when two wonderful things happened to me: I left for college, and I met my real mom. I'll cover the more bazarre event first.
Around the time I was graduating, my parents asked me if I wanted to meet my real mom.
I had known for a long time that I was adopted, but up until then it had always been abstract fact to be filed away. I didn't really grasp the... significance of it.
Being the curious kid I was, I said sure, and went to some sort of office to meet them. When they (yeah, I had a sister, too. Zing.) walked in to the living room-like office, I was floored. My (real) mom looked like the somewhat attractive, slightly overweight (please don't take offense, mom), socially active, 25-somethings you see talking to their BFFs in the mall food court, and my sister, well, she was... (wait for it) one of the pretty-but-slightly-nerdy-looking girls from my school! I had been going to school with my sister! OMGWTFholycrap!!
You see, we had thought that they were living somewhere in Flordia, but two years earlier, they had moved back up here to Vermont (two towns away, no less) and my sis had enrolled in my High School, two years under my class. After a while, she noticed I looked like the kid in the photos her mom would get in the mail, and mentioned it to her. She did some asking around, and realized what had happened. So she set up a meet, and there they were, standing in front of me smiling and hugging and talking to me - all the while me being totally shell-shocked and mentally overloaded.
Ever since then, when I would go over and visit, I slowly realized I could drop the "normal" act and be myself, and they were always 100% accepting of it, no questions asked. I formed this great friends-but-better relationship with her, and my sister and I had the sereotypical good-siblings relationship - we would poke fun at each other a lot, but it was always good-natured. This was completely new to me, as my parents were all "beaver-cleaver", "keeping-up-with-the-Jones'", and my brother and I absoloutely loathed each other. No exaggeration.
The other thing that happened pretty much at the same time: I left for college.
Because of my technical aptitude, I went to a tech college in-state, where I encountered two things I'd never experienced before: acceptance and independence.
As soon as I arrived, I was floored by the fact that (almost) everyone else there was like me: a social outcast with a amazing mind for technology. Suddenly, I was at the top of the social pecking order. It felt like someone had handed me a pair of glasses and I saw the world clearly for the first time. (I think I just gave the textbook definition of a paradigm shift.)
Shortly after I - the unsure-of-himself naïve freshman that I was - arrived, I was taken in by a group within the college (the biggest one, in fact) known as "The Guild", a group of other computer geeks and nerds with an affinity for gaming (computer, pen-and-paper RPGs, etc), and all of us certifiably insane, to boot. They helped me ditch the fake front I had built up all those years, schooled me in the real ways of the world, and showed me how to be myself. I could finally have a conversation without the "WTF are you talking about" looks, had a seat saved for me at the big table in the middle of the cafeteria, and was actually wanted and welcomed by others, instead of being merely tolerated.
I learned a whole heck of a lot socially, as well as the ability to truly "blend" with the real world, instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.
Unfortunately, because I focused too much on college life and not enough on college work, I couldn't return after the third semester, when the teachers stopped giving me the benefit of the doubt. I did fine - learning-wise - in the computer classes, but I just couldn't figure out - nor drum up the motivation to try - the core courses like math and english, and got the boot.
As far as I'm concerned, I got all the knowledge I was really looking for, but as far as the mass public is concerned, without that little piece of paper that says you graduated, you're not diddly-squat in their eyes.
As far as my parents are concerned (the "beaver-cleaver" ones), they're all sorts of pissed off about it, even to this day (although they hide it), that I wasted my education and their money.
Well, in their eyes, anyways.
Long story short (too late!), those two big experiences, or should I say groups of people, gave me roughly the same thing: the knowledge that I can be - as well as the how-to - be myself among those who are willing to accept it, and that I should never let who I am be dictated by those with a narrow mind.
Ok, I've gotten horribly off topic here. Back to the question.
I realized the true meaning of my furry nature (as well as my sexual prefrence) a few years ago when I was still in college, up late browsing Google Images for drawings of wolves for my desktop background (completely innocently. Honestly. I just usually keep SafeSearch off because it tends to get annoying when you're looking for a specific image.) and came across one of Blotch's non-yiff drawings. (Paintings?) Intrigued, I clicked on the thumbnail, which happened to be in his VCL library. After looking through his library, I came across his... more adult work, and suddenly, was more intrested than I had ever been. Up to this point, when I needed to... uh... deal with the urge, the simple act itsself (without any actual thoughts) was usually enough. I understood the whole sexual culture and concept and the images and videos that went with it, but it didn't really intrest me. With what I was seeing, though, it took on a whole new meaning and intensity.
After my... urge was satisfied, I went to the homepage and starting browsing around, not really comprehending what had just happened. I realized that this site was full of drawings of anthros, and I liked it. I spent several months lurking around the site, enjoying the strangely unique work, especially the ones involving male wolves and dogs, until people talking about something called FA got me curious. I finally found a clickable link and was dumped (predictably) into an old archived FurAffinity thread on what the heck a furry is. I was reading through, and suddenly, I felt like something had fallen in place. I felt... a sense of belonging. Like, holy crap! Other people feel this way, too? I'm not alone?!?
That was about a year and a half ago. I ended up moving out and getting an apartment in Burlington, and I lurked around the forums and FA's main site for a long, long time (always in private) before deciding, "What the hell. It's not like mom's going to find this on my computer." So I created an account here, and starting getting involved with the community, instead of lurking around the fringes.
I'm come to grips with the fact that I am a full-blown furry, and have even let two of my friends (of which, I still don't have many) know. One had suspected a long time, and the other was completely blind-sided. As far as the other thing, I think they both suspect that I'm gay (Oh, wow. It took me fifteen minutes to finally say it and type those last two words), or in the very least bi, but haven't said anything on that either way. I think they just look at me as the guy that will be a virgin for the rest of his life. I'd like to change that once I meet a furry I'm comfortable with. I've commissioned BeastCub to make my suit (which I'm looking sooo forward to getting), and will be attending my first con - FurFright '09 in CT, and hope to meet some furries in real life. Of course, meeting a furry can be incredibly hard since we're so good at hiding it. I'm planning on moving to the west coast at some point anyways, as I can't stand it here. Maybe I'll have more luck out there, as there don't seem to any others like me nearby.
Oh, wow. I've just written a novel. Eh, it reads like a cheesy autobiography.
Ok, just to sum up for those of you who skipped to the bottom: I've always been a furry at heart, I realized who I was thanks to Blotch and everyone at FA. Thanks everyone! And a huge hug for anyone who was willing to slog through my life's story, and helping me come out.
I am...
I am... Wow. This is so hard.
I... am... I am a gay... I am a gay... furry.
I am a gay furry.
I'm a gay furry.
I'M A GAY FURRY!
And I'm ok with that.
Now to tell my parents...
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-Lucario-
Member
I was playing a game with a friend online when she randomly asked me if I was a furry. This was back around mid October (October 18th if I'm not mistaken). She told me she was a furry, I had no clue what a furry was so I said sure. She gave me a link to FA so I clicked on it, looked at if for 5 seconds and closed it to continue on to whatever I was doing before. Roughly 2 months later, I was studying for a final. About 3 hours into my studying I finally got bored and started to wikipedia random stuff, like I always do when I get bored. For some odd reason, that moment where my friend asked me if I was a furry popped into my head, so I decided to wikipedia what a furry was. After reading the article on furries, all I had to say was "I'm a furry D=!". After making several fail attempts at trying to remember that furry site my friend gave me, I finally found FA and made an account on it. That took place on December 5th at around 10 PM and, well, here I am now. ^_^
Henk86
Always trust the Gene genie!
You didn't scare me as such. It was a little unexpected though. Still kudos for you opening up and all
My story is simple really, been into werewolves and anthro animals for several years, identified myself as a furry about two years ago, but only just got around to joining FA a couple of weeks ago.
TheDumbening
The FAF Otaku
I was into Sonic as a small kid and wanted to know some more about it. I found out about Anthropomorphic animals and became interested in it. At age 11 I first found furry porn. I was extremely attracted to it and well, started- well you get the point. Halloween 2006, when I was 11, I bought a Fursuit for halloween and claimed I was halloweening as a fox. When really, I was just showing my furry fandom.
I recently rediscovered my Furry Fandom through my recent searches on deviantart.
I recently rediscovered my Furry Fandom through my recent searches on deviantart.
Earthwyrm
Scaly Crusader :3
SuperFurryBonzai
is that really necessary?
i think i first realized in October of last year and by just coming across the art and researching it then i found furaffinity and so on
Exploding-Zombies
Member
*I needed to delete this post. (dont ask) But I dont know how too so Im just editing it and erasing everything.*
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TheDumbening
The FAF Otaku
I don't know why but I lol'd hard at this
Arcadium
Member
I blame web-comics.
Started with VG Cats when i was like 11, then Coz Effect. When i turned 12, i got bored with Coz Effect, for it's childish. I still checked out VGC once in a while. . .
So i'm twelve, and i find some, "Yiff", from a google search. I looked into it. Turns out there was a fandom and all that good shit. I knew about the fandom, but diddn't feel part of it
Turns 13. Only knows about furry. Guests on This Forum, as i noticed anthro was fairly simple to draw. I joined dA, and really wanted to get into some kind of art. Furry was the easiest and most convienet, because i've seen a lot of it.
Around last december. I start getting back into web-comics. Find PriestRevan's, 2s a company. I dug the idea of it. The comic's humor matched mine, and the style of art was phenominal.
Now. I draw Antho on a daily basis, hoping to be able to get my own comic out there. I also connected much more with the fandom than i originally thought i would. I craved to wake up as a Anthro fox and all that stuff. . .
So here i am. Getting better with my art, hanging out with some of the coolest people. I am now getting a collar, and plan on attending Anthrocon in 2013 or 2014, when i'm 18-19.
Cool stuff.
Started with VG Cats when i was like 11, then Coz Effect. When i turned 12, i got bored with Coz Effect, for it's childish. I still checked out VGC once in a while. . .
So i'm twelve, and i find some, "Yiff", from a google search. I looked into it. Turns out there was a fandom and all that good shit. I knew about the fandom, but diddn't feel part of it
Turns 13. Only knows about furry. Guests on This Forum, as i noticed anthro was fairly simple to draw. I joined dA, and really wanted to get into some kind of art. Furry was the easiest and most convienet, because i've seen a lot of it.
Around last december. I start getting back into web-comics. Find PriestRevan's, 2s a company. I dug the idea of it. The comic's humor matched mine, and the style of art was phenominal.
Now. I draw Antho on a daily basis, hoping to be able to get my own comic out there. I also connected much more with the fandom than i originally thought i would. I craved to wake up as a Anthro fox and all that stuff. . .
So here i am. Getting better with my art, hanging out with some of the coolest people. I am now getting a collar, and plan on attending Anthrocon in 2013 or 2014, when i'm 18-19.
Cool stuff.
Yep, it wasn't until last month that I actually figured out I'm a furry. I've always been into some sort of animal during my life, and I only recently found out about furries. and I must say, I'm proud to be one
Miles_Rose
Is NOT the tin dog
When I was 9 and I had multiple reasons I always wanted a tail...
I always wanted a tail...
Shadow
Likes to Create
When I was 9 and I had multiple reasons
I can vouch on that being a reason as it's also one of my reasons. |D
QuixoticMutt
Professional whale jockey
I was a huge Over The Hedge fan (lol) And one day I was looking up images and I came across FA lol
SimonAquarius
New Member
When I was about seven and was watching The Pirates of Dark Water. From what I recall there was one part where he is changed into a sea monster (I think). I thought that was the coolest thing ever, but my sisters were moderately less impressed.
It was only when I was twelve when I found furry artwork, but puberty kinda had a negative effect on what I look at now.
It was only when I was twelve when I found furry artwork, but puberty kinda had a negative effect on what I look at now.
- Status