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who likes wering collars ??

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
Boyfriend and I have been discussing ideas for more decorative collars that would be even less out of place as fashion wear; maybe one day we'll actually get around to doing some amateur leatherworking or whatever.

I'm also a bit curious about getting a hold of something like the wide, decorative sighthound collars they have in some parts of the world. They're gorgeous, have a bit of a harem vibe, and could be pretty fun to wear.

Wow! I had completely the wrong idea about you. Your profile picture and some of your posts had led me to believe you were a reserved and somewhat quiet individual that dressed in long-sleeved sweaters. That'll teach me to judge a book...
I can be quiet and reserved (pretty true of me in person tbh) and kinky as fuck at the same time. Long-skeeved sweaters are for winter, though, and even then I kinda prefer flannel shirts. ;) We've been having a heat wave the last week and 30-degree weather is melty enough as-is, though.

Anyway, since we're on the topic, I suppose my own reservations with wearing a collar is the fear of what others might infer as well as what my partner might think. I personally like the look of all-black square rivet studs on black leather, they seem to be the right mix of aggression without being too extreme. I would just hate for someone else to see me and think, "oh, that dude's into BDSM". Perhaps that just means I am the wrong type of person to wear a collar since I seem to care too much about what others think. But in a way, that risk of being misunderstood is part of the draw for me. I wouldn't mind a way to passively give the middle finger to society and its expectations and invite them to judge me.
I'd say the first step might be talking to your partner about it? Like, "honey, I'm thinking I might like to wear something like a black-on-black punk-esque collar; would that bother you?" It sounds like something that could be quite visually appealing, and if you were thinking about having it custom made or making it yourself you can opt out of putting anything like a D-ring on it whatsoever, which would probably minimize the BDSM connection.

Though really, I think you'd be fine. I wore a dog collar on a daily basis for years back when I was in high school, and people didn't bat an eye; the other junk I wore around my neck (a pentagram, a silver something with probably-Arabic script on it, and possibly some other junk I forget about given it was like 15 years ago) drew comments while I can't recall anyone saying anything about the collar.

Though I will admit that to me it's mildly puzzling that people thinking you're into BDSM is so off-putting to you. But I'm probably biased. ;)
 

Wabbajax

Jaxon-Jackal/Arixes-Særkyn
Though I will admit that to me it's mildly puzzling that people thinking you're into BDSM is so off-putting to you. But I'm probably biased. ;)

You? Biased? :p

I might have submissive tendencies at times, but when push comes to shove I get feisty and combative. The thought of someone looking at me and thinking that I'm a sub makes my hackles rise.

I do not like being told what to do. I might ordinarily be fairly passive and non-confrontational, but if pushed too far... my teeth come out.

So yeah, I really don't want to be mistaken for being in the BDSM community, not because I think there is something wrong with it, but because I don't want someone to infer that I'm a sub.

*growls under breath*
 

Arnak

Off the bench
Sometimes I attach a heavy chain (the kind you see wild beasts tethered with in the movies) to my collar. I also put the chain on if it's a hot day cuz it takes an hour for it to warm up
 
Well, I'm in a dom/sub relationship, and that is the reason my gal likes wearing collars. Sort of... sign of belonging or something. Idk, maybe if you like it so much, you might enjoy such things. Not necessarily sexual ones.
 

Arnak

Off the bench
... one thing I want is a longer (slightly thinner links) chain to act as a leash (as well as self defense)
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
You? Biased? :p

I might have submissive tendencies at times, but when push comes to shove I get feisty and combative. The thought of someone looking at me and thinking that I'm a sub makes my hackles rise.

I do not like being told what to do. I might ordinarily be fairly passive and non-confrontational, but if pushed too far... my teeth come out.

So yeah, I really don't want to be mistaken for being in the BDSM community, not because I think there is something wrong with it, but because I don't want someone to infer that I'm a sub.

*growls under breath*
IKR? The idea of me having any kind of bias is absolutely shocking! :p

Again, this is from my perspective, but it's not like being a sub means much of anything in regards to how people who aren't your lovers should be acting towards you. (And anyone familiar with BDSM is likely to very much respect this; anyone outside the BDSM community is unlikely to infer fuck-all in my experience. Honestly, not sure many people into BDSM would make any assumptions, either; I know I wouldn't.) I'm socially quite submissive in general (which many subs aren't), but if some person went to grab my collar who didn't at least have implied consent to do so, they'd at best get their hand smacked, because "sub" doesn't mean "their sub." Last I wore a collar in a social situation, I was complimented on it like any other accessory.

Not trying to talk you into wearing one per se, more wanting you to feel comfortable trying it if it's something you're interested in. Because it's a shame that you'd feel like other people's opinions are an obstacle to wearing something you'd like to wear. If that makes sense?
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
Do what I did. Go to the pet section of Walmart and get a collar meant for large dogs like great Danes and pitbulls
To add to this, it's a good idea to measure your neck at about the kind of fit you want beforehand. I used a necklace I wore on a daily basis which had the kind of fit I wanted as a reference when I bought my first collar (which tbh wouldn't fit a GSD, much less a Dane or pibble). But that was a snug, choker-like fit.
 

Arnak

Off the bench
To add to this, it's a good idea to measure your neck at about the kind of fit you want beforehand. I used a necklace I wore on a daily basis which had the kind of fit I wanted as a reference when I bought my first collar (which tbh wouldn't fit a GSD, much less a Dane or pibble). But that was a snug, choker-like fit.
As long as two fingers fit under the collar, you're good. I also can't stand super snug fits (I guess being locked in a theater seat and annoying seatbelts made me hate snug fits) I like my collars to be loose enough to where I don't feel like I'm being choked. Also I move my neck alot so a snug fit would rub my neck till it was raw and sore
 
O

OscarDeer

Guest
I've never worn a Collar.

Not sure why you'd wear one but okay....
 

Arnak

Off the bench
I've never worn a Collar.

Not sure why you'd wear one but okay....
Like you'd wear a necklace. Because you can and you want to. Wore one (an ugly brown one) throughout an entire school year and everyone was ok with it after awhile
 

Catdog

I caused a little stir.
I've never worn a Collar.

Not sure why you'd wear one but okay....
Lot of reasons. One might just be for fashion (like big ol spiked punk collars), being a Huge Furry (especially canid furry, really good way to sort of identify as/with your OC) or as a BDSM thing. Shrug!
 
D

Deleted member 82554

Guest
I mean, anyone can tug on my collar anytime, just make sure to be rough! Or is that ruff? >:3c
 
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