I'm a goat plushie
permalink (https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39474698/)I know you're gonna say "What? Sam's cheating again? What a surprise..", but hear me out, okay.
First I'd like to tell you a little story about a certain someone.
Mr. and Mrs. Lady gave birth to a beautiful child who's name i will not repeat for legal reasons.
Said child grew up the subject of ridicule for their surname and certain behavioral ways i'll get into.
The young Lady was anything but normal and as well as having a passion for the bizarre they also had ideas above their station and aggressive tendencies, which made making friends difficult.
In school her brash and course nature fueled bullying as it was of course "not befitting of a 'Lady'" so to speak.
However the young Lady endured it and eventually managed to turn the tables with herself becoming a bully to others.
Falling in with the wrong crowd the young Lady in her teenage years began to get involved with crime.
Among the local gang of hooligans she had become a popular favorite with many comparing her and her new boyfriend to Bonnie and Clyde.
However young Lady was the kind to never sit still for too long and despite her boyfriend rising the ranks to becoming the gang leader she cheated on him with another member of the gang.
Disgraced, the young Lady was forced to leave the gang and being common as muck she had more than a few choice words about it.
Now this young Lady had a reputation for anger and taking things way to far and soon the gang learned what a mistake they had made.
Operating alone she worked to disolve the gang in various ways including violent and underhanded ways considered by the gang to be too cruel.
Eventually this young Lady found her way back into the gang after founding a rival gang of her own and later absorbing the original gang after a malicious territorial takeover.
Now with her third boyfriend, a fellow member of the gang she founded, she began to escalate the gang's criminal behavior advancing from petty theft to drug dealing.
On reaching maturity Miss Lady had an explosive argument wiht her family resulting in her being written out of the will and kicked out of the family home.
Miss Lady took it in her stride however and used the opportunity to run away from home and forget her past life starting up a new gang many miles away in Scotland, a different country entirely.
On this mad quest she encountered a homeless traveller with equally wild dreams about starting a business in Scotland and they married soon after entering the country.
Settling on the west coast they began their joint enterprizes of criminal gang and legit businesses but unfortunately the husband was a terrible businessman and lost them tons of money.
Mrs. Lady dumped him to save her own businesses finances and he took it hard resorting to drink and drugs and eventually commiting suicide.
Not officially separated now Miss Lady became technically a Scottish Widdow (see what i did there).
It's about this time I show up for the first time in her life.
"First time? What do you mean?" i hear you ask.
Oh we will get to that.
After obvious cheating on my current partner with Miss Lady things went a little uhoh when Miss Lady became pregnant.
Though an adult at the time, the age difference between me and her was more than eyebrow raising.
This would have been in the 2000's when she was in her early 20's and me in my mid 30's.
Unfortunately Miss Lady gave the child up for adoption and this resulted in a falling out between me and her.
At this point in time I myself was experimenting with new business ventures that would eventually become my hotel business i had until a few weeks ago.
Miss Lady however was running her own joint venture with much less than legitimate practices.
To make matters worse post natal depression had resulted in giving Miss Lady a sex addiction though she was smart enough to carry condoms now.
Despite managing the depression rather well the addiction had completely ruined her illegal business ventures as her flaunting her body over her customers drove them away.
Penniless but too proud to take a handout she fell on bad times and became homeless, but by coincidence my own crimes resulted in me being imprisoned and now free i was also in the same boat.
Meeting up for a second time on the streets we got back together and patched things up and between her sex addiction and my ridiculous libido things were actually pretty great.
Struggling for cash and being unable to get a job because of my criminal record Miss Lady hit on the idea of selling her body for money.
This resulted in argument number 2 and again we split up but not after i managed to cheat on her with my ex Mary getting her pregnant for a second time (with Ling) or so i thought.
Turns out Mary herself was cheating on me at the time and the child was actually from a different father.
Though this is somewhat poetic justice since years before i had cheated on Mary after getting her pregnant with my son Toni and left her holding the baby.
Miss Lady was true to her word and ran a brothel where she was actually rather successful and came into money.
Me by this point after receiving handouts from my birth family who were living as farmers in the area and still are, i work on their farm now, began to get back on my feet now moving to a new town under the help of a kind friend (John) who offered lodgings in his apartments.
Paying back the money and then some i began being a rather successful businessman in the area and soon took over the tourism trade there, the backbone of the seaside town.
Miss Lady unfortunately fell in with a bad lot and ended up having to go into hiding to avoid debts she owed to the mob.
At this point my birth family manages to get in contact with Miss Lady and after settling debts with the mob sets her up with a job working on their farm.
Miss Lady's life turns around and she even manages to control her sex addiction and things are looking rosey at last.
Fast forward about a decade and it's 2020 and money troubles in the past few weeks have meant i've have to shut down my tourism business and move to my family's farm nearby.
Not really crossing paths and to be frank not really wanting to, me and Miss Lady just go about our chores avoiding each other, not to mention we each have our own partners as well.
About a week ago Miss Lady sees an article about buying land in Scotland and uses her stored funds to purchase the patch of well quite useless land.
However the idea behind her logic is to appeal to the courts to have her title officially changed to Lady Lady since she technically owns a patch of land legitimately rather than being a tenant to their local lords like most people are legally considered to be nowadays.
Unfortunately this idea is pretty much laughed out of court before it even gets there as a return letter rejects the idea, but knowing that i am rather successful at business she approaches me for help.
Turns out looking at the paperwork that for her to qualify AS a lady the land has to serve a function and me being a businessman i might know how to make the land useful.
Well, i don't know how it happened and nor does she but we ended up sleeping with each other an no no drugs or alcohol or anything else was involved other than a pizza and a couple of blankets.
In the morning however we realised what a mistake we'd done as we each panicked about how to tell our partners about it.
Unfortunately we didn't have to wonder for very long as we ended up doing it again in the early morning and lost track of time only to be discovered by the farmer who told EVERYBODY.
So now I'm on a quest to get her ladyship the title she deserves whilst also trying to avoid sleeping with her again and each of us having the awkwardness of explaining this to our respective partners.
What a way to start December.
So yeah i just wanted to kinda confess publicly on all my social media and explain something.
For those that asked, yes she's a furry and you can blame me for that.
Her oc is a shark.