still lives with parents
worried about health
email hacked recently
parents try to support me but I feel like I'm being yelled at
no talent or skills to speak of
Why are you alive?
Well, when two people bump uglies without any contraceptives, it tends to result in more people. Couple this with the fact that nothing has killed you yet, and *presto*, that's why you're alive.
In all seriousness, what do you enjoy doing? See if you can find a way to make some cash off of that, or just find a way to make it beneficial to someone. Do you have any friends you can talk to about this? Go hang out with them. Talk things over. See if any of them know of job openings you might be qualified for. Possibly talk to your parents about getting psychological help (I know that's the last thing you probably want to hear/do). Try volunteering somewhere (soup kitchen/food pantry, local charity, political event, whatever.) Try writing, drawing, or composing something. Maybe even sculpting or painting. Possibly even exercise (I've got a few friends who started jogging/lifting as a way to cope with depression/nihilistic thoughts. They claim it worked wonders).
Do something to keep yourself engaged with life and other people, or at the very least with your own body and mind. Plus, on the off chance that any of the religions are right about the afterlife, most frown on suicide very highly. Hell, maybe try attending a local church and seek guidance there (I say this as someone who is VERY against organized religion). It does help some people. Just don't start looking for the way out yet.
Well, your parents decided to fuck on that specific day, creating you.
As for why: There's no particular reason other than what you make of it. It's the same for everyone, frankly. Their parents decided to fuck on that specific day, the woman getting pregnant and boom, you are born.
There's no meaning to life other than wanting to pass down the genes to the next generation. There is nothing more to it.
If you love what you are doing which earns you enough money to sustain yourself you don't have to work a single day in your life.
Hey, things can get tough. I know what it's like to feel like you're going nowhere. That's the worst. That's why you *must* find something to work towards. It changes everything when you know you have something to look forward to.
If you want more fun or better relationships with friends, find groups doing things you like to do and go join. Find things you've never tried and try them. Ask your friends and family what they do for fun regularly and try some of those things out. Find something you can look forward to - there are meet up groups for so many things. It can be uncomfortable at first, but worth it to build up community and confidence. If you want more independence or money, start looking for a job that will work for you. You may need extra help - go get it from local non-profits that help people find employment. If you have health issues, focus on researching and fixing them. Health issues cause everything else to go bad if you don't understand them and deal with them the best you can. Tell your parents and any close friends the truth about your feelings of being stuck or your health issues. Own your situation. Acknowledge it to yourself and communicate it to others. And when you do, ask for help. Something like "Mom/friend, here's where I'm at. I want to be somewhere better in a year. I'm going to start making changes and I need help. Can you give me more space/ can I bounce some of my thoughts and fears off of you"
Ignore the GF/BF thing. You've got more important needs to address first. You need to satisfy yourself before you can satisfy and support someone else. Look for platonic relationships - friends, or friends who cuddle, but aren't expecting more.
Last thing: the sad truth is that we really are all alone. We will die alone - no matter how many friends we make, no matter how deep our loves grow. You've got to look out for yourself. There will be many times when nobody else will. The good news is that we're all alone together, and there are other people who feel the things you feel. And that can be the greatest feeling, to find someone who understands you. If you need someone to listen, feel free to PM me. I'm not on ever often, but will respond.
Listen to those who have already posted. You have a reason to live. It may not show itself for another 10 years, but it's there.
And again, don't worry about the bf/gf thing. It will happen when it's meant to happen. It's not something you can predict.
One more...just like a mid-life crisis, there is something called a quarter-life crisis. Hits somewhere between 20 & 25, warps your brain for awhile & then you'll settle into adulthood. It's a big road ahead, but it's always one step at a time.