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Why am I so consumed with hatred?

Baalf

Will accept free hugs and tummy rubs.
I swear, it's this massive demon that just keeps following me around everywhere. Some days, I can think about the things that make me happy like Porcupines, anthros, fatfurs, my favorite videogames, the book I'm writing, my OCs and their Wacky Adventures, Etc. Other times, all I can think about are the things I hate the most. So much media just frustrates me to no end, plus the fact that people constantly defend the cliche is in media that I hate the most as well as the fact that media that follows those cliches tend to get the most attention and praise. Also, Smash Brothers. I can't just be happy that we got Banjo and Kazooie or look forward to playing as my favorite belly-tank K. Rool. I have to zoom in on the fact that we got 10 humans for our DLC lineup and 6 of them wield swords.

Sometimes, I really just don't like feeling this spiteful. It just makes me feel miserable and sick inside. Oh, I still hate modern cliches and always will, but sometimes I wish I had an easier time staying calm and coping with the things that upset me. Any tips anyone can give?
 

RAM

Well-Known Member
Any tips anyone can give?
Realize that you being angry over people's media choices is utterly pointless. People are going to watch what they're going to watch, read what they're going to read, and play what they're going to play and there isn't a single thing that you can do about it.

Seriously, I couldn't imagine dedicating this much mental bandwidth towards being angry about the various tropes and clichés that other people happen to like in the types of media that they consume.
 
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Troj

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
I think we all have our pet peeves!

First, I find it helps to have people I can vent with.

Second, I also find it helps to recognize that the only thing you can really control in your life is yourself, and to take an inventory from there of the variables you can reasonably influence or control in your life, and the ones you can't.

Third, it's good to be able to step back, recognize one's own smallness in the face of the cosmos and the larger scale of time, and try to have a sense of humor about things. I will sometimes come up with jokes or write satirical or funny posts, essays, or stories to vent about the things and people that are getting under my skin.
 

Baalf

Will accept free hugs and tummy rubs.
Realize that you being angry over people's media choices is utterly pointless. People are going to watch what they're going watch, read what they're going to read, and play what they're going to play and there isn't a single thing that you can do about it.

Seriously, I couldn't imagine dedicating this much mental bandwidth towards being angry about the various tropes and clichés that other people happen to like in the types of media that they consume.

Honestly, I feel like the problem is that the cliches I hate so much are dangerous. They mostly involve portraying life as evil/worthless while portraying humans as the only good and valuable creatures, which IMO is a horrible mindset to have. Not to mention making all of your Heroes humans, specifically in a fantasy Universe, also limits how creative and diverse they can be. It also doesn't feel like it used to be this way, and it's not as bad as it used to be, but it's still prevalent in media.
 

Troj

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
Ahh, thank you for clarifying! That makes a ton of sense.

In these cases, I would say that our best reaction may be to become the change we wish to see in the world---that is, to create the stories we would like to read, hear, or watch; make parodies of these cliched stories in order to highlight and mock their flaws; and/or critique problematic media so that other people can develop a deeper understanding of those problems.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Acknowledgement is the first step!
If the only thing that is angering you is the media you consume, you might also be consuming too much media. What other things do you fill your day with? Do you work/fulfill any social obligations? Take regular breaks? Do other hobbies that don't involve gaming or television in general? When I find something bothers me, I tend to step away from it, even if it's for five minutes. Do stretches, play Just Dance, make weird noises, grab a bus to downtown and buy a smoothie. Anything!

Rationalize your thoughts and break things down tends to help me. For example:
Assuming I didn't miss any, it looks to me like the Smash Roster now has 25 non-humanoids (I didn't count characters like Kirby, Rob or Mr Game & watch etc either). That's 25 out of 82 characters total (unless this page is somehow outdated). 30% of the roster is all anthro and it ranges from cool, cute, chonk and sassy. There is diversity. There is variety. You might not be into every character you see. I tend to pick between maybe five characters?

You might also be reading too deep into the media you consume- for example, most shows I watch don't actually promote humans as being superior. It's mostly just self preservation (I.E not wanting to die to the antagonist, which is almost always another human) or completely unrealistic scenarios like transforming into a sailor scout to defend the planet. And for the most part, a lot of shows I've seen tend to promote the preservation of nature and wildlife vs just senselessly cutting things down. If anything, I feel like it acknowledges a lot of the wrong that humans are responsible for.

Most furries I've met also feel content watching Animes that feature humans, so I'm pretty confident (with some past comments you've made to back it up) this is a personal and deeper issue about feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Acceptance.
I hate the copy/paste shooters. I hate digital sports. I hate how every five minutes, ANOTHER indie survival game (made with Unity) is being released like it's gonna be the one that re-invents the genre, and I ESPECIALLY hate it when people expect me to buy every fucking version, when they literally abandon it the moment another Beta indie survival game comes out!!!

But I can't change their behavior. I can only change mine. And I'm going to do what makes me happy, even if it means switching things off (or not paying attention to it) for a while, or just leaving any hype-based gamer group I encounter.
 

Kinguyakki

Alignment: Chaotic Stupid
I swear, it's this massive demon that just keeps following me around everywhere. Some days, I can think about the things that make me happy like Porcupines, anthros, fatfurs, my favorite videogames, the book I'm writing, my OCs and their Wacky Adventures, Etc. Other times, all I can think about are the things I hate the most. So much media just frustrates me to no end, plus the fact that people constantly defend the cliche is in media that I hate the most as well as the fact that media that follows those cliches tend to get the most attention and praise. Also, Smash Brothers. I can't just be happy that we got Banjo and Kazooie or look forward to playing as my favorite belly-tank K. Rool. I have to zoom in on the fact that we got 10 humans for our DLC lineup and 6 of them wield swords.

Sometimes, I really just don't like feeling this spiteful. It just makes me feel miserable and sick inside. Oh, I still hate modern cliches and always will, but sometimes I wish I had an easier time staying calm and coping with the things that upset me. Any tips anyone can give?
Maybe you need to step away from the media and find some other things to occupy your mind, and give your attention to, if the games are giving you that much emotional turmoil. They're supposed to just be fun, remember?
 

pilgrimfromoblivion

UOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! :sob:
1. Don't let all the little shit live rent free in your brain.
2. Distance yourself from the internet if need be, it's been getting shittier and shittier over the past few years. Notice all the famous content creators throwing their hands in the air and taking long hiatuses from social media and the internet in general, there's a reason why.
3. Find something to take up your time and relax you. Anxiety and restlessness seems really common.
4. Don't be this guy. His whole life is just cold bitter Hatred.
maxresdefault.jpg
 

Parabellum3

I'm not a furry if I have feathers.
I can totally relate to this. In the fandom for example, more than half are addicted specifically to (NSFW) artwork. And as a result, if you’re an artist, you can make big business and earn a reputation by offering your services.

Unfortunately for us writers, they can give more than a thousand fucks about us because they are either too busy, too stupid, or too lazy to read long lines of text since it does take brain power to formulate a scenery in your mind. With art all other visual media, it’s already their and you don’t need to think. I feel like that has made my kind of hobby completely obsolete since it’s not “cool” anymore, and it’s quite bugging me a lot.

And speaking of Super Smash Bros, I’m also pissed that they didn’t add in Amaterasu. Instead they put more generic-ass humanoids with oversized clothing and weapons.
 
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Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
16338537563916149998308337585203.jpg
WAY too much Internet.
You've been making the same threads across the entire Internet about the same "problems" and getting yourself banned for it since like 2012.
At this point its a choice that you're miserable.
 

Baalf

Will accept free hugs and tummy rubs.
View attachment 120622
WAY too much Internet.
You've been making the same threads across the entire Internet about the same "problems" and getting yourself banned for it since like 2012.
At this point its a choice that you're miserable.
Honestly, no. It's counterproductive comments like this. Telling people that they are the problem and making them feel worse about themselves only makes them more defensive and miserable. It doesn't give someone an incentive to try and better themselves. More than likely, people will become worse because of advice like yours.

If anything, I've been trying to explain my problems more thoroughly and calmly over the years, but even that hasn't helped. People come up with the same excuses every single time. "Oh, it just HAS to be this way because diversity doesn't sell anymore. Only HUMANS sell." or "oh, you're just looking too hard into things." or "Humans can ONLY relate to humans, and that is all they could possibly want." This kind of advice doesn't help me. It just makes me feel worse.

Also, "you CHOOSE to be miserable?" That is some Story of Brenda Q garbage there. "Oh, abuse victims just CHOOSE to be in an abusive relationship." It's not as easy or simple as simply choosing to be miserable. The fact that you seriously think I want to be miserable is baffling. And don't tell me it's easy to not be miserable. Maybe it is for you, but it is not easy for me to focus on the things that make me happy rather than the things that make me miserable, especially when the things that make me miserable are constantly shoved into my face and the things that make me happy are things I have to look for.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
Find your media "niche" that bucks the trend you see. (Also be wary of confirmation bias - it's easy to see the negatives and forget the positive examples.) Say you feel fantasy literature uses too many human main characters, even in settings where sapient non-humans are clearly present. Pursue creature fantasy and focus on what's popular among fans of that specific sub-genre. Yes, it's easier said than done sometimes, but the point is that there will be a frame where the trends that vex you don't apply, and finding a way to frame things that doesn't rile you up is probably easier than being a single person trying to get the mainstream to change (or at least yearning for that change to happen), yanno?

Tropes are always going to be there. Humans are (in ways, obviously it's not all that we are) creatures of habit and familiarity makes us feel safe - established tropes are familiar. It's fine to not like certain tropes, and to want to avoid them. Just don't expect them to disappear.
 

Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
Honestly, no. It's counterproductive comments like this. Telling people that they are the problem and making them feel worse about themselves only makes them more defensive and miserable. It doesn't give someone an incentive to try and better themselves. More than likely, people will become worse because of advice like yours.

If anything, I've been trying to explain my problems more thoroughly and calmly over the years, but even that hasn't helped. People come up with the same excuses every single time. "Oh, it just HAS to be this way because diversity doesn't sell anymore. Only HUMANS sell." or "oh, you're just looking too hard into things." or "Humans can ONLY relate to humans, and that is all they could possibly want." This kind of advice doesn't help me. It just makes me feel worse.

Also, "you CHOOSE to be miserable?" That is some Story of Brenda Q garbage there. "Oh, abuse victims just CHOOSE to be in an abusive relationship." It's not as easy or simple as simply choosing to be miserable. The fact that you seriously think I want to be miserable is baffling. And don't tell me it's easy to not be miserable. Maybe it is for you, but it is not easy for me to focus on the things that make me happy rather than the things that make me miserable, especially when the things that make me miserable are constantly shoved into my face and the things that make me happy are things I have to look for.
Youre not an abuse victim (In this context). And nothing in your OP is a legitimate problem worth "filling yourself with hatred spite and misery". You're complaining about not getting anthro nerd media.
Again.
I'm shocked you would have the gall to compare that to domestic violence.
I call it a choice because its a non issue youve let anguish you for nearly 10 years.

Telling you to get over it is honestly what you need to hear. Because whats counterproductive is looking for pity asspats over something inconsequential like "ew Smash Bros swordsmen".
 

Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
Two step process to not be miserable over a video game:

Do not play it
Play something you like.
Crisis averted.
Smash Ultimate is lame so I play Rivals of Aether instead and actively do not focus on Smash. Thus I make myself...un-unhappy. :]
 

Baalf

Will accept free hugs and tummy rubs.
Youre not an abuse victim (In this context). And nothing in your OP is a legitimate problem worth "filling yourself with hatred spite and misery". You're complaining about not getting anthro nerd media.
Again.
I'm shocked you would have the gall to compare that to domestic violence.
I call it a choice because its a non issue youve let anguish you for nearly 10 years.

Telling you to get over it is honestly what you need to hear. Because whats counterproductive is looking for pity asspats over something inconsequential like "ew Smash Bros swordsmen".

I never said it was comparable to Domestic Abuse! I said you saying that I CHOOSE to be miserable is comparable to Story of Brenda Q saying that Abuse Victims CHOOSE to be miserable. You COMPLETELY miss the point of what is making that person miserable. Again, "You CHOOSE to be miserable" is the comparison, not "Frustration = Domestic Abuse."

Just because YOU think it's a non-issue doesn't mean other people will think it's a non-issue. INSISTING that it's a non-issue is only going to infuriate people and make them more defensive. I'm sorry that I can't get over media that only has human good guys, even when they are trying to make humans look bad (FE: Witcher 3 wants us to care about non-humans and better ourselves, even though it still protrays non-humans as evil, even the ones the hero tries to protect. The only exception are the trolls and his generic AF horse.) A lot of media reminds me why I don't like real life humans. IMO, that IS an issue.

And enraging others and making them more miserable is better!? Treating them as the problem and frustrating them more is better!? With all due respect, I do not want to talk with you anymore. You are not helping. You are making things worse.
 
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Yakamaru

Cyberpunk musta Susi
You're hating on other people's interest in media. It's a waste of time.
 

Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
I never said it was comparable to Domestic Abuse! I said you saying that I CHOOSE to be miserable is comparable to Story of Brenda Q saying that Abuse Victims CHOOSE to be miserable. You COMPLETELY miss the point of what is making that person miserable. Again, "You CHOOSE to be miserable" is the comparison, not "Frustration = Domestic Abuse."

Just because YOU think it's a non-issue doesn't mean other people will think it's a non-issue. INSISTING that it's a non-issue is only going to infuriate people and make them more defensive. I'm sorry that I can't get over media that only has human good guys, even when they are trying to make humans look bad (FE: Witcher 3 wants us to care about non-humans and better ourselves, even though it still protrays non-humans as evil, even the ones the hero tries to protect. The only exception are the trolls and his generic AF horse.) A lot of media reminds me why I don't like real life humans. IMO, that IS an issue.

And enraging others and making them more miserable is better!? Treating them as the problem and frustrating them more is better!? With all due respect, I do not want to talk with you anymore. You are not helping. You are making things worse.
"I'm sad because X media is not to my taste, let me indulge in it anyway and allow it to 'fill me with hatred' then dwell on it"
VS
"I'm sad because my husband beat me again but I'm scared that if I try to leave, he'll kill me and I also need to think of my child"

You're trying to vilify my assertion by comparing it to victim blaming when there's no victim in your situation. And I don't care why you think human centric media is terrible. The thing that's perplexing is why you focus on it to the point that it makes you miserable and "filled with hatred".

This thread was pretty much over the moment RAM made their post. Fixing your personal problem is as easy as flipping a switch. But I think based on past history, you were just looking for people to agree with you, not to help you get over yourself. So I reiterate, this is a choice on your part.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
The following may or may not be a crude word depending on your mind state, but here we go...

Imagine if some random person(or even people) applying the exact same view on you, while all you did is doing what you want to.

This world is vast, full of diverse people--to the point we may not know certain kinds exist. And if you're going to keep doing what you want to, and to exist in this world(because this society is all about coexistence with all odds), it'll be a wise choice to respect the differences--or just try to ignore them like they are nonexistent, if it's too hard to respect them(it happens).

I'm not trying to defend certain groups or people etcetc. Just telling that this world is not where it's only full of what one favors, nor the world is ever going to be so any day.

I myself also tend to get irritated by the 'odds' from time to time, but I choose to ignore, if I can't respect. The less I allow them in my mind, the less stress I'm gonna take.

After all, the fandom we roam around in is also one of those--respected, loved or hatred. But furries ain't gonna stop! Why? Because we are simply chasing after what we love--nothing different to any human--and that has nothing to do with furry haters. UwU

Yup! We can just keep doing what we want and focus more on positive stuff rather than negatives!

Well.. But of course beware not to harm others during the course of action! Ow<☆
 

Baalf

Will accept free hugs and tummy rubs.
"I'm sad because X media is not to my taste, let me indulge in it anyway and allow it to 'fill me with hatred' then dwell on it"
VS
"I'm sad because my husband beat me again but I'm scared that if I try to leave, he'll kill me and I also need to think of my child"

You're trying to vilify my assertion by comparing it to victim blaming when there's no victim in your situation. And I don't care why you think human centric media is terrible. The thing that's perplexing is why you focus on it to the point that it makes you miserable and "filled with hatred".

This thread was pretty much over the moment RAM made their post. Fixing your personal problem is as easy as flipping a switch. But I think based on past history, you were just looking for people to agree with you, not to help you get over yourself. So I reiterate, this is a choice on your part.

What part of "I'm comparing your insistence that I CHOOSE to be miserable to an episode of Family Guy saying that someone chooses to be miserable and NOT domestic Abuse" do you not get? And besides that? The media that I do not like is everywhere. It is not something I can easily avoid. Not only does it make up a good chunk of media, but it is usually the kind of media that gets Awards and is shoved right in your face. Plus, do you think I choose to watch hundreds of Genshin Impact and Everything is Fine ads on YouTube? No. They are ads that I'm forced to watch whenever I click on a video. Even if I click the skip ad button 5 seconds in, it doesn't stop YouTube from trying to spam advertisements for them.

I'm "vilifying" you because of your attitude and warped advice. For example, I think by now but you can understand that I am not looking to change my opinions. I am looking for ways to take my mind off of negativity. Making someone feel like crap does not help. Neither does saying it is as simple as "oh, you just CHOOSE to be miserable."

You're just proving that you are the wrong person to help me. "It's as easy as flipping the switch." No it isn’t. "You just CHOOSE to be miserable." No I don't. It's clear you have absolutely no understanding of psychology or how a person's head works. Getting rid of the habit of thinking negative thoughts is just like any other habits. It requires work and dedication. It doesn't just go away like magic. It also it doesn't help when there is no way to get away from the things that make you miserable other than, pretty much apparently, to cut yourself off from all form of entertainment.

The following may or may not be a crude word depending on your mind state, but here we go...

Imagine if some random person(or even people) applying the exact same view on you, while all you did is doing what you want to.

This world is vast, full of diverse people--to the point we may not know certain kinds exist. And if you're going to keep doing what you want to, and to exist in this world(because this society is all about coexistence with all odds), it'll be a wise choice to respect the differences--or just try to ignore them like they are nonexistent, if it's too hard to respect them(it happens).

I'm not trying to defend certain groups or people etcetc. Just telling that this world is not where it's only full of what one favors, nor the world is ever going to be so any day.

I myself also tend to get irritated by the 'odds' from time to time, but I choose to ignore, if I can't respect. The less I allow them in my mind, the less stress I'm gonna take.

After all, the fandom we roam around in is also one of those--respected, loved or hatred. But furries ain't gonna stop! Why? Because we are simply chasing after what we love--nothing different to any human--and that has nothing to do with furry haters. UwU

Yup! We can just keep doing what we want and focus more on positive stuff rather than negatives!

Well.. But of course beware not to harm others during the course of action! Ow<☆

People keep saying to be the change you want to be. I've been putting a lot of work into this one book I'm writing in the. I feel like I've been working on it more slowly than I should, but I've still been working on it steadily. I'm thinking that it's time I draw some pictures to go along with my book.

Lately, I have been doing a little better at repelling negative thoughts, though sometimes I wonder if that's just because I'm in the right mood. I noticed my mood changes regularly. Sometimes I think it's because I have too much sugar, sometimes I think it's because I have too much caffeine, but other times I'm not sure. Yesterday, I downed 60 grams of sugar in a cone of candied almonds, but I didn't feel like my mood was all that bad. I was still able to repel negative thoughts. There are some days where no matter how much I try to let go of something that makes me upset, I can't stop thinking about it.

I think part of it has to do with triggers. A trigger pops up, and I find myself fixating on it until time passes and I can get over it until the next trigger pops up. I think what I'm asking for is advice on how to repel triggers like that. Like, the recent trigger is sword wielding human number "147" making it into Smash Brothers. It's always going to not sit right with me, but I've gotten to the point where I'm no longer fixating on it solely. Still, there was no way that I could avoid or ignore that trigger because it was big news.
 
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TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Like with sugar, too much and you will inevitably crash. Moderate your intake. Especially if the majority of your day is spent looking for/consuming things like shows and videogames.

A lot of people like to watch videos and stuff during/in between their creative process. When youre writing or something, try turning everything else off. Including music. And when you're done or want to take a break, you can turn everything on again.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
Gotta add a bit more to get rid of potential mistakes:

You don't have to change yourself, nor the way you are! (Because it's painful to change oneself. And further, living a lifestyle of 'adjusting myself for my surroundings' ain't gonna end too well.)
Keep loving what you love, and I'm never forcing you not to and/or begin loving what you don't--just let those 'odds' * be themselves!

* To be precise, it's different, not odd, I believe!
We all know the reality just screams "I dislike them and it's painful to watch", but still!

While we can't make 'odds' disappear, we can keep distance from them! When you can't make them yours(which is hard), respect and/or ignore, let them be!

Avoiding interactions, keeping the 'odds' from infiltrating your mind, preventing any potential conflicts... These shall make life much easier. At least it works for me!


Plus.. Keep your wrath and mental energies for those fights which are actually worth fighting! (When someone 'invades' you, force you on those you don't want, for example) For efficiency, I'd say!
 
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Connor J. Coyote

¥otie ¥otezer
What part of "I'm comparing your insistence that I CHOOSE to be miserable to an episode of Family Guy saying that someone chooses to be miserable and NOT domestic Abuse" do you not get? And besides that? The media that I do not like is everywhere. It is not something I can easily avoid. Not only does it make up a good chunk of media, but it is usually the kind of media that gets Awards and is shoved right in your face. Plus, do you think I choose to watch hundreds of Genshin Impact and Everything is Fine ads on YouTube? No. They are ads that I'm forced to watch whenever I click on a video. Even if I click the skip ad button 5 seconds in, it doesn't stop YouTube from trying to spam advertisements for them.

I'm "vilifying" you because of your attitude and warped advice. For example, I think by now but you can understand that I am not looking to change my opinions. I am looking for ways to take my mind off of negativity. Making someone feel like crap does not help. Neither does saying it is as simple as "oh, you just CHOOSE to be miserable."

You're just proving that you are the wrong person to help me. "It's as easy as flipping the switch." No it isn’t. "You just CHOOSE to be miserable." No I don't. It's clear you have absolutely no understanding of psychology or how a person's head works. Getting rid of the habit of thinking negative thoughts is just like any other habits. It requires work and dedication. It doesn't just go away like magic. It also it doesn't help when there is no way to get away from the things that make you miserable other than, pretty much apparently, to cut yourself off from all form of entertainment.



People keep saying to be the change you want to be. I've been putting a lot of work into this one book I'm writing in the. I feel like I've been working on it more slowly than I should, but I've still been working on it steadily. I'm thinking that it's time I draw some pictures to go along with my book.

Lately, I have been doing a little better at repelling negative thoughts, though sometimes I wonder if that's just because I'm in the right mood. I noticed my mood changes regularly. Sometimes I think it's because I have too much sugar, sometimes I think it's because I have too much caffeine, but other times I'm not sure. Yesterday, I don't 60 grams of sugar in a cone of candied almonds, but I didn't feel like my mood was all that bad. I was still able to repel negative thoughts. There are some days where no matter how much I try to let go of something that makes me upset, I can't stop thinking about it.

I think part of it has to do with triggers. A trigger pops up, and I find myself fixating on it until time passes and I can get over it until the next trigger pops up. I think what I'm asking for is advice on how to repel triggers like that. Like, the recent trigger is sword wielding human number "147" making it into Smash Brothers. It's always going to not sit right with me, but I've gotten to the point where I'm no longer fixating on it solely. Still, there was no way that I could avoid or ignore that trigger because it was big news.
I'd just focus more on the things and people you enjoy... and less on the things (and instances) - that you don't. That's what I always do (for the most part)..... and that'd be my advice.... if - you're finding yourself dragged down (in the enjoyment department) by things that you can't really control.

By doing this - you'll be removing yourself from the negative facors more, and you may enjoy things more.
 
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