Would you rather? (For lonely people)

[Cocobanana]

I'm 24, single, slightly overweight, too hipster for mainstream people, not hipster enough for other hipsters (mostly because of my inability to afford or fit inside of their stylish clothes), not furry enough to most furries, too old, too young, nerdy, and still in college for another few years. Never been in a relationship and the prospects aren't looking good.


Coming from this extremely depressing perspective (and yes, I know it could get a LOT worse, and surely a poor African child could make a more positive experience out of my current life which is all the more saddening that I can't do better or feel better), I've got a question to perhaps reach out to those others who feel lonely because they're single or just don't seem to fit in even among furries.

Would you rather be alone and lonely, or be hit/kicked/bit/ridiculed and all out abused? I feel like the latter would bring more hope that someone would come along and say that the way I was being treated was wrong, versus being ignored where I would just fade out of existence up until a suicide that only my parents cared about.

 

[Dust]

I suppose this is like one of those things "Is the glass half empty, or half full?"
You seem to see it as half full, my friend. And that's good, despite the fact you would rather be abused. Honestly, you're still VERY young. You've still got a lot of potential, and you can show anyone you're made of steel. Don't give up hope, and keep trying. Sure, being single kind of sucks, but think of it this way, you still have that innocence, that vital hope for someone you'll fall madly in love with and have that other person love you just as much. You've still got quite some time, my friend. Try to keep your hopes up. You seem like a lovely individual.

As for the question, I feel I would be more comfortable being alone. I'm a bit of a hermit and a introvert. (I think that's what it's called) I like being alone and a bit lonely. It's a time where I can break myself away from everyone else and focus on me. Granted, yes, that sounded QUITE selfish, but I'm just not very social in real life. But that's just me, personally.

 

[Project H311H0UND]

I rather have someone put a gun to my head, tell me to burn in hell and kill me. I went my whole life being made fun of for having a learning disability and having troubles being social because of Asperger's. Was told that I was not gonna have a life, Was told that I would not get my diploma, and was told that I wouldn't be able to get a job. I had too work hard for everything and had nothing handed too me in life. I got my diploma with more credits that were needed and had the best grades of everyone I my class, Got a job right out of high school making $14 in hour and this was my first job ever. Yet I can't drive, I can't move out of my mom and dads house and I can't get a girl to like me because I can't talk too people. All the good things I did for people like giving them money to help them out, Being there for them when they were sad. None of it mattered. I wasted my life. 23 years old and I don't even have a fucking car.

 

[Heliophobic]

too hipster for mainstream people, not hipster enough for other hipsters (mostly because of my inability to afford or fit inside of their stylish clothes)

I WILL GRIND YOUR FACE UNDER MY HEEL

 

[Duality Jack]

Be physically active, eat well, get out of the house more, network socially through various comm on interests or common goals.

 

[Mullerornis]

Anything that makes you feel better. Though I do disdain deliberately trying to get beaten up/humiliated for the sake of attention. I would rather be alone than to have other people have the pleasure to masturbate at my hardships.

 

[Seekrit]

I'd rather do something about my easily fixable 'problems' than let the world beat me up for them.

 

[Duality Jack]

Seriously though your poll is some serious defeatist bullshit.

 

[Schwimmwagen]

Be physically active, eat well, get out of the house more, network socially through various comm on interests or common goals.

I can do most of those in given time, but fuck that

Anyway for me personally when it comes to networking within common interests, that's something I am willing to do however my current living situation makes it difficult. Lollivinginthemiddleofnowherewithnopersonalorpublictransportormoney

Anyway OP, I know the defeatist feeling and the impulsive want to express that, but it's really not good for you or anybody and will not solve any problems. Just exacerbate them.

 

[Troj]

I'd rather people either approach me appropriately with their concerns, and/or quietly work on their "issues" with me, than ignore me.

I'd rather be ignored than beaten up.

I'd rather be beaten up than gossiped about or undermined behind my back.

In grade school, you often don't have much of a choice in how people see you or treat you, or which people you do and don't get to/have to deal with.

As you get older, your power over yourself and your situation should ideally increase.

The Internet has been a wonderful resource for me, because it's helped me to find like-minded people at times in my life when I didn't click or connect with the people in my immediate environment.

I've also learned that you typically have to BE a friend in order to GET a friend. Not only will this actually enhance people's feelings for and loyalty towards you, but it'll also typically make the friendship richer and deeper, provided the other person reciprocates.

I've also learned that self-acceptance goes a long way towards drawing people in--especially the right kinds of people-- while open self-loathing often (but not always) acts as a big "Do Not Touch" sign for most people.

If you find that you can't connect with anybody you encounter, you of course have to honestly ask yourself why.

 

[Machine]

I'd rather get beat up.

So I can finally have a reason to kick someone's face in.

Then I'll get on with my life, get famous and rich, then die. Like a man woman.

 

[Duality Jack]

I can do most of those in given time, but fuck that

Dude, steak potatoes and motherfucking gravy is still well.
I am not suggesting some vegan stuff, just suggesting people evade pre-packaged bullshit vapor dusted with lard and salt people pass as food.

 

[Schwimmwagen]

Dude, steak potatoes and motherfucking gravy is still well.
I am not suggesting some vegan stuff, just suggesting people evade pre-packaged bullshit vapor dusted with lard and salt people pass as food.

Oh yeah that I can do

I've always been a meat and potatoes kind of guy

 

[Ozriel]

This is what I think of the thread:

[yt]UGFxyrOC7so[/yt]

Seriously, why this petty defeatist behavior?

Also, I voted Hi mom. I don't mind my seclusion because it gives me time to be with my own thoughts. I am always around people and there are lots of times when I want to just have some time to myself.

 

[DrDingo]

I'd say getting beaten up and ridiculed are two very different things. If I was beaten up, my friends would give me support. If I was ridiculed, some of my friends would turn away from or mock me. Still, either one of those is better than being ignored and lonely because I would have nobody to support me whatsoever.

 

[BRN]

Here's how to deal with loneliness, dude.

Phone NASA. Their phone number is 731 483-3111. Explain that it is very important that you get away as soon as possible.

If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - 202 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.

If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least no one to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.

If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.

If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that its vitally important that you get away before your phone bill arrives.

 

[Distorted]

I've been lonely for most of my life. It's kind of a default for me since I'm introverted. In grade school I was kind of the kid that people were nice to but also felt sorry for. I also got picked on a lot. People wouldn't let me sit by myself at lunch. I would get angry when they sat with me because I could tell they didn't really care. I didn't want their pity. And I found myself floating around groups of people who would take me in. I would watch how they reacted with eachother, and I kept an arms length so we wouldn't get too close. Or involved in some cases.

But being alone can cause you to become disillusioned to the reality of things. You may think one thing when it's entirely something else. And a lot of interpersonal experience only hinders you in the long run. It's ok to value your space, but it's important to have people in your life. I could get into a whole thing about object relations but I'll just keep it simple and clean.

You should totally finds some friends. Some NORMAL ones who don't try to regulate their social group like a country club.

 

[Harbinger]

Oh GAWD my moms on FA D:

 

[Ozriel]

Oh GAWD my moms on FA D:

Your mother would like to have a word with you.

 

[Dreaming]

I'd rather be alone because it's easy and I know how to do it. I'd get help for my problems but you know, someone out there is in a worse situation than me which automatically renders my situation obsolete

 

[Aleu]

As soon as I saw the thread title i knew exactly who it was making the thread. Dang y'all are predictable.

Personally, I'm like a cat. Fuck off unless I want your attention.

 

[Cocobanana]

Here's how to deal with loneliness, dude.

Phone NASA. Their phone number is 731 483-3111. Explain that it is very important that you get away as soon as possible.

If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - 202 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.

If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least no one to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.

If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.

If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that its vitally important that you get away before your phone bill arrives.

You're referencing a great book; however, it fails in the friendship/relationship advice department.

This thread was partially created because I was drunk and feeling rejected last night, and partially because I somehow thought it would be a good idea for the identity created for myself to be a transgressive artist and philosopher. It's nice to have not woken up and seen every post be 'kill yourself fggt' but knowing that Aleu still wants that with the way she this'd every negative or sarcastic post was expected.

 

[Aleu]

You're referencing a great book; however, it fails in the friendship/relationship advice department.

This thread was partially created because I was drunk and feeling rejected last night, and partially because I somehow thought it would be a good idea for the identity created for myself to be a transgressive artist and philosopher. It's nice to have not woken up and seen every post be 'kill yourself fggt' but knowing that Aleu still wants that with the way she this'd every negative or sarcastic post was expected.

For one, fuck off with your obsession with me. It's fucking creepy as hell.
For two, I never said or even implied for you to kill yourself.

 

[Seekrit]

Oh GAWD my moms on FA D:

Oh this is just brilliant. Link me her profile so I can yiff her later.

 

[Aleu]

Oh this is just brilliant. Link me her profile so I can yiff her later.

But what if she isn't pansexual?