Your favorite dark jokes

[Sodasats20]

Not really dark but can we acknowledge the fact that the “why did the tomato turn red” joke is actually extremely dirty when you think about it? And us as kids already knew it, it was the first dirty joke we knew.

 

[RamblingRenegade]

I walked into a room and turned on the light, it was really enlightening

 

[redhusky]

I walked into a room and turned on the light, it was really enlightening

I changed a light bulb without flipping the light switch off once. It wasn't a very bright idea.

 

[redhusky]

Not really dark but can we acknowledge the fact that the “why did the tomato turn red” joke is actually extremely dirty when you think about it? And us as kids already knew it, it was the first dirty joke we knew.

I may have you know that I have not, nor ever have been, a tomato!

 

[ben909]

is turning the tomato into salsa rather then ketchup the slasher verson rather then the grinder version

 

[dragon-in-sight]

-Yesterday I went to the red cross for a blood donation. But they told me it had to be my own.

-The last words of Jesus Christ: "More nails! I'm slipping!"

-Corona hometest for a budget: Put one Finder in your mouth and one into your ass. Then swap them after a minute. If it still tastes the same you're positive.

-I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

-Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

 

[Sodasats20]

I may have you know that I have not, nor ever have been, a tomato!

Wasnt referring to you but ok

 

[redhusky]

Wasnt referring to you but ok

That's what I thought!

 

[Woozle]

I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

 

[Foxridley]

 

[Baron Tredegar]

That crocodile over there is Old Smiley and the one next to him is his girlfriend Ginger. But be careful, Ginger snaps.


That was one of the jokes that was on the Jungle Cruise at Disney World until a kid got eaten by an alligator.

 

[RamblingRenegade]

what is the cost difference between beer nuts and deer nuts, I mean deer nuts are always under a buck

 

[Deleted member 162523]

*Dad, "I'll be back."

 

[Woozle]

what is the cost difference between beer nuts and deer nuts, I mean deer nuts are always under a buck

I see what you did there.

 

[Amepix]

Happy 60th birthday. At last, you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

 

[NilsTeutschLW97]

When God gave us all common sense, I suppose I was in the bathroom...

 

[Ash Sukea]

The old [Why did the chicken cross the road?— To get to the other side.] joke doesn’t seem very dark until you consider it’s very dangerous for animals to cross roads and ‘the other side’ is a euphemism for the afterlife.

 

[TrixieFox]

yo mama is so poor ducks throw bed at her